Is your dating life stuck in a cycle of extreme highs and sudden ghosting? You might be trapped in all or nothing thinking. In this episode of Dating Déjà Vu, Christina unpacks the dangers of black-and-white thinking in modern dating and how it sabotages real connection.

If you're constantly looking for red flags, obsessed with instant chemistry, or walking away too quickly when things aren’t perfect—this episode is for you. Christina shares relatable stories, helpful mindset shifts, and her viral 3-3-3 dating rule to help you move from fear-based dating to curiosity-driven connection.

Tune in now!

Let's connect:

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Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast

Timestamps:

00:00 – Welcome + Podcast intro

00:16 – Meet Christina Hathaway

00:25 – All or nothing thinking in dating

00:54 – How this mindset shows up in other areas of life

01:23 – Black-and-white thinking sabotages connection

01:47 – Christina’s personal example from high school

02:21 – What is all-or-nothing thinking?

02:49 – Extreme reactions and ghosting after good dates

03:22 – The fear behind rigid standards

03:37 – Examples of extreme thinking in dating

04:11 – Craving fast chemistry and intensity

04:43 – Labeling people too quickly

05:32 – Generalizing bad experiences

05:50 – Putting all your eggs in one basket

06:34 – Hurt becomes your whole reference point

07:03 – The illusion of control

07:20 – Vulnerability vs. protection

07:59 – Choosing curiosity over conclusions

08:27 – Questions to reflect on during early dating

08:44 – The 3-3-3 Rule for dating

09:08 – The power of slow burns

09:44 – Stop looking for reasons to leave

10:31 – Expecting uncertainty in relationships

10:43 – Christina’s personal love story

10:58 – Discomfort vs. protecting your peace

11:12 – The full 3x3x3 dating rule explained

12:07 – Avoiding infatuation cycles

12:21 – Wait for clarity before bailing

12:47 – Giving relationships space to grow

13:07 – Reflection: When have you bailed from discomfort?

13:44 – Identifying your extreme dating patterns

14:14 – Encouragement to stay in the gray

14:26 – Share, review, and support the show

14:56 – Final reminders

Being vulnerable in a healthy relationship can feel unsafe—especially if you've been burned before. But vulnerability is the key to building real emotional intimacy and connection. In this episode, Christina Hathaway, licensed marriage and family therapist, breaks down what healthy vulnerability actually looks like, why it’s not oversharing or trauma dumping, and how to express your truth without losing your identity.

If you’ve ever struggled to say what you really feel, if you tend to merge into your partner or over-function emotionally, or if you're navigating relationships with old wounds, this episode is for you!

Let's connect:

Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0

Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast

Timestamps:

00:00 – Vulnerability in healthy relationships can feel unsafe at first
00:38 – Inspired by Matthew Hussey’s take on intimacy
01:31 – Defining vulnerability: It’s not oversharing or codependency
02:44 – The power of sharing truth without performance
03:44 – Real-life example: Writing a note to her husband
04:16 – Navigating boundary-setting early in dating
05:03 – Language to honor boundaries while staying open
06:11 – Don't confuse merging with intimacy
07:49 – Staying present through discomfort and hormonal shifts
09:26 – Healthy intimacy isn’t about safety all the time—it’s about discernment
10:25 – Never weaponize someone's vulnerability
11:55 – Allowing mutual emotional exposure in relationships
13:00 – You don’t rush trust—you build it
14:21 – Key questions to ask yourself when gauging emotional safety
15:35 – What to do when you fear someone will leave after opening up
16:11 – Final thoughts + call to share this episode

Are you constantly questioning your relationship, but can't quite explain why?

In this episode, Christina breaks down 10 subtle yet powerful signs it's time to leave a relationship—even if there hasn’t been a dramatic breakup, betrayal, or obvious red flag. If you're stuck in confusion, this episode will give you the clarity—and permission—you need!

Let's connect:

Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0

Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast

Timestamps:

Are you dating someone’s potential... or just their cowboy boots? In this spicy Love Island deep dive, Christina breaks down what Olandria’s journey teaches us about fantasy, red flags, and why holding on too long can cost us our peace.

In this week's episode, Christina dissects the latest drama on Love Island USA—specifically the emotional rollercoaster between Olandria, Taylor, and Clark, and connects it to real-life dating patterns.

If you’ve ever found yourself fixated on a type (hello, cowboy or baller!) and ignored the red flags just because the fantasy looked good on paper, this episode is your wake-up call. Christina helps listeners unpack the dangerous loop of romantic idealization and shows how to break free from dating déjà vu.

Let's connect:

Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0

Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast

Timestamps:

In this episode, Christina unpacks the subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways we change ourselves to be loved, wanted, or accepted. Are you healing and growing because you want to or are you unconsciously shifting to become more palatable for your partner?

She dives into the difference between self-evolution and self-abandonment, explains the psychology behind shape-shifting in dating, and offers powerful self-check questions to help you reclaim your self-worth, authenticity, and voice in relationships. If you're tired of auditioning for love, this one’s for you.

Let's connect:

Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0

Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast

Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction
00:20 Meet Christina and the podcast
00:31 Are you changing for you or for them
00:53 Inspired by real client conversations
01:11 People shrink themselves in relationships
01:42 Self-growth vs self-abandonment
02:15 Story of someone changing to please a partner
03:05 Change rooted in validation doesn’t last
03:50 The pressure to shape-shift in dating
04:33 People silence themselves without being asked
05:11 Acting feels heavy because it’s not real
05:27 Growth feels expansive, protection feels tight
06:04 Real change aligns with your values
06:33 Would you stay this version if they left
07:30 Childhood teaches us to adapt to be safe
08:39 Dating becomes a performance for approval
09:42 Validation-seeking leads to unhealthy change
10:01 Real love doesn’t ask you to shrink
10:45 Growth means setting boundaries and staying close to self
11:34 Christina shares how healing changed her relationships
12:23 Don’t shame your past self for surviving
12:56 Heal your own holes to become whole
13:29 Do you love yourself when you’re not performing
13:44 Closing thoughts and clarity call invite

Love Island fans, let's talk!

In this episode of Dating Déjà Vu, Christina dives deep into the messy (and frankly, uncomfortable) dynamic between Huda and Jeremiah from Love Island USA.

Christina dissects what love addiction looks like in real-time, the psychological games at play, and how emotional manipulation, insecurity, and trauma bonding can destroy even the most passionate connections.Whether or not you watch the show, this episode is a must-listen for anyone who’s dated someone too fast, too soon, or felt stuck in a fantasy that turned toxic!

Listen now!

Let's connect:

Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0

Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast

Timestamps:

Is your relationship starting to feel more like cohabitating than connecting? In this episode of Dating Deja Vu, therapist and relationship expert Christina Hathaway dives deep into the quiet crisis so many couples face: the shift from romantic partners to roommates. She breaks down why this happens, how to spot the signs of hidden loneliness in your relationship, and most importantly—what to do about it.

Whether you're dating, married, or somewhere in between, this episode will challenge you to reflect, reconnect, and revive intimacy without relying on forced date nights or grand gestures.

Listen now!

Let's connect:

Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0

Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast

Timestamps:

00:00 – Intro
00:49 – Are you feeling more like roommates than lovers?
01:22 – The signs of "roommate energy" in relationships
02:33 – How disconnection slowly creeps in
03:49 – Mundane routines vs. meaningful connection
04:49 – Loneliness inside a “functional” relationship
06:27 – Christina’s honest personal reflections
07:09 – “You can still be in love and feel alone”
08:05 – No repair, no curiosity, no foreplay = disconnection
08:57 – Over-functioning and bargaining: what we do when intimacy fades
09:40 – Why polarity and tension matter in romantic connection
10:39 – Reigniting without forcing it: “Name it, don’t blame it”
11:19 – Micro-moments and rituals over grand gestures
12:42 – Reclaiming your own energy and vitality
14:08 – Ask better questions to get deeper with your partner
14:56 – If you're the only one trying: disrupting the cycle
15:41 – Coaching, counseling, and choosing intimacy
16:41 – The truth about roommate energy—it’s not the end, but it’s a sign
17:13 – You deserve to be chosen, not just tolerated
17:24 – How to work with Christina + final message

In this episode, Christina gets brutally honest about what it actually takes to move on after a breakup without ghosting your feelings or glamorizing your ex. From the grief of “the future that never happened” to the shame spiral of the inner critic, Christina breaks down the real psychology behind heartbreak and why feeling your emotions is the most radical thing you can do.

Whether you’re fresh off a split or still low-key stalking their Instagram, this episode gives you a step-by-step playbook to stop repeating patterns, reclaim your power, and reconnect to you.

Hit play now!

Let's connect:

Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0

Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast

Timestamps:

Is your love language still stuck in the 90s?

In this episode, Christina breaks down the five original love languages and gives them the 2025 upgrade they desperately needed.

We’re talking less about flowers and sweet texts, and more about safety, consent, intentionality, and presence. Christina shares personal stories and real-life examples to help you recognize how these love languages show up in today’s modern relationships and how they might be misfiring without you even realizing it.

Tune in now!

Let's connect:

Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0

Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast

Timestamps:

Could the role you played in your family growing up be sabotaging your relationships today?

In today’s episode, Christina unpacks the hidden dynamics of family roles—those subconscious identities many of us assume in childhood to navigate dysfunction. These roles might’ve once helped us survive, but they often sabotage our adult relationships and self-worth.

Whether you’re navigating healing, parenting with more intention, or just trying to understand yourself better, this episode is for you.

If this resonates, don’t forget to follow and share! Every listen helps spread awareness and healing. Let’s break cycles together!

Let's connect:

Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0

Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast

Timestamps:

00:00 – Intro
01:38 – The root of dysfunctional family roles: survival and coping
02:48 – The Hero: perfectionism and performance as protection
04:13 – The Scapegoat: acting out the family’s hidden pain
05:38 – The Lost Child: invisibility as a shield
06:57 – The Mascot: using humor to diffuse tension
08:17 – The Enabler: keeping the peace at a personal cost
09:57 – How these roles can follow us into adulthood
12:18 – Awareness as the catalyst for change
13:33 – Breaking the cycle: naming, grieving, and healing
15:10 – A message of hope: you’re not broken—you adapted
16:05 – Outro