Before you redownload dating apps or—worse—text your ex, ask yourself the question most people skip: "Am I truly ready to date again?"

In this episode, we're going to talk about the often-ignored signs you're not ready to date—and what real readiness actually looks like. This isn't about blaming or shaming. It's about protecting your peace, rebuilding your foundation, and dating from a place of confidence and clarity instead of trauma and fear.

Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0

Let's connect:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/

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Timestamps:

In this no-fluff, truth-bomb-packed episode, Christina dives into why some women keep attracting emotionally unavailable men and what it actually means to be a high-value woman.

If you’ve ever been ghosted, breadcrumbed, or left wondering why he won’t commit, this one’s for you. Christina unpacks the difference between the “pick me” mindset and the self-rooted, magnetic energy of a whole-value woman.

This episode is your permission slip to stop auditioning and start directing.

Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0

Let's connect:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/

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Timestamps:

00:00 – Introduction
01:18 – Pick me vs. high-value woman
02:08 – Accepting crumbs = mistaking connection
03:15 – Dropping standards to stay liked
04:10 – The real issue: not being enough for you
05:00 – Meredith Grey moment + pick me cringe
06:26 – Rooted > rigid: setting real standards
07:24 – Layaway vs. Buy Now energy
08:05 – Christina’s dating story
09:19 – Wholeness > neediness
10:25 – Dating multiple men with integrity
11:28 – Observe, don’t push
12:06 – Plot twist: her now-partner said no
12:36 – Walking away with self-worth
13:24 – Consistency > chemistry
14:29 – Covert pick me girl feels
15:14 – You’re the director, not the auditionee
15:50 – Outro

Is “perfect compatibility” keeping you single? In this episode, Christina dives into the myth of the "perfect partner" and why chasing a fantasy version of love may be sabotaging your chances of real connection.

Christina shares personal stories, client examples, and professional insight to help you shift your mindset from unrealistic expectations to meaningful compatibility. Whether you're hypercritical on dating apps or constantly mistaking chemistry for chaos, this episode will help you reframe how you date and who you’re really looking for.

Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0

Let's connect:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/

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Timestamps:

Let's talk about the unconscious patterns that might be sabotaging your relationships in today's episode. It’s not about shame, it’s about ownership. From unspoken expectations to emotional hijacking and trauma-driven “gut feelings,” Christina walks you through the real reasons love might keep slipping through your fingers, and how to finally break the cycle.

If you’ve ever said “they just don’t get me” or felt like you’re always the one chasing love that never lands, this one’s for you! Tune in now!

Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0

Let's connect:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/

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00:00 Intro

01:30 It’s easy to point fingers, but what if it’s you repeating the same patterns?02:46 Stop expecting psychic partners: Love is built on communication, not energy reading

04:24 Relationship red flag #1: Loving someone for their potential

06:23 Red flag #2: Shutting down emotionally to control the narrative

08:03 Red flag #3: Hijacking the emotional climate of the relationship

09:09 Personal story: When love still protects toxicity

11:08 Red flag #4: Mistaking anxiety for intuition

14:10 Trauma vs. truth: How to know if your gut is real or reactive

15:20 Red flag #5: Keeping a receipt of every mistake

16:57 Red flag #6: Everyone knows your relationship drama—except your partner

18:24 Are you unconsciously sabotaging intimacy by trying to protect yourself?19:55 The breakthrough: Loving with more responsibility

20:35 Reflective questions to build emotional safety

20:45 Coaching offers

Have you ever found yourself mid-fight about something small like the dishes, the thermostat, or a passing tone... wondering, how did we even get here?

In this raw and revealing episode of Dating Déjà Vu, Christina breaks down the REAL reason you keep looping through the same arguments. Spoiler: it’s not about the damn dishes.

We’re talking:

• Why your emotional cup is already full and what’s really spilling over

• How your brain craves the relief after a fight more than the resolution itself

• The difference between true intimacy and emotional whiplash

Whether you're single reflecting on past patterns or in a relationship that feels like a merry-go-round of conflict, this one’s for YOU. Christina shares not only the why behind your relationship déjà vu but also gives you tools to break free from the cycle and find peace without chaos.

Let this episode be your wake-up call. You’re not broken. You’re just stuck in a story that’s ready to be rewritten.

Hit play now!

Let's connect:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/

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00:00 Intro
00:11 Fighting for relief, not resolution
00:36 The same fights on repeat—why it happens
01:08 Emotional themes in repeated arguments
01:54 It’s not about the dishes
02:07 The emotional cup and overflow
03:24 Your reaction vs. the situation
04:16 Personal example: Reactivity in marriage
05:00 Addiction to crash and calm cycles
06:02 Mistaking relief for resolution
06:56 Creating calm without conflict
08:12 Emotional whiplash and confusing it with love
09:22 Highs and lows as a definition of love
10:11 Rewiring your nervous system
10:43 Reflection questions and rewiring patterns
12:00 It’s really about the disconnect, not the dishes
12:39 Meeting your own needs first
13:10 Why sharing the episode matters
13:22 Outro

In today’s episode, we’re flipping the script, we’re not talking about red flags. We’re talking GREEN FLAGS!

The subtle, powerful signs of emotional safety, regulation, and genuine connection that most people overlook in favor of sparkly chaos. (Yes, chaos and chemistry are not the same thing.)

This episode will have you rethinking every “boring” date you ever ghosted. Because real love isn’t about adrenaline—it’s about alignment.

💬 Loved the episode? Let us know!

Drop a comment, leave a review, or DM us your thoughts—we want to hear from the Deja Crew. Your feedback helps us grow and create more emotionally mature daters in the world!

Let's connect:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/

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Timestamps:

00:00 Intr00:36 Red flags are everywhere, but what about the green ones?01:11 What healthy love actually feels like01:44 When a relationship feels “boring” but safe02:28 Regulation vs. emotional highs and lows02:48 Being yourself without walking on eggshells03:27 Understanding nervous system safety in relationships04:12 Green flag #1: They don’t get defensive05:24 Responding vs. reacting in communication06:07 Emotional maturity and creating safe feedback space06:26 Green flag #2: Vulnerability is safe in their hands07:55 They don’t use your feelings against you08:47 Reciprocating emotional safety09:37 Green flag #3: They comfort you without asking10:06 Emotional attunement and support10:56 Why kindness might feel “too nice” if you're not used to it11:26 Green flag #4: They don’t talk poorly about their ex12:13 Accountability and self-awareness in past relationships12:34 Green flag #5: Long-term friendships matter13:25 Friendships reflect attachment style14:24 Green flag #6: Playfulness and comfort being yourself15:42 When you’re called “too much” vs. being accepted16:13 Chemistry vs. chaos in dating history17:04 Real-life example of thoughtful support17:50 Relationships aren’t supposed to feel like hard work18:21 Important reflection questions to ask yourself18:55 Real love = alignment, not adrenaline19:17 Share the podcast and coaching offer20:12 Coaching vs. therapy20:54 Outro

You’ve heard the clichés: “Once a cheater, always a cheater” or “They just wanted sex.” But what if that’s not the full story?

In this episode, Christina goes deep into the real reasons people cheat—from unresolved trauma and emotional neglect to ego crises, conflict avoidance, and unmet needs. Whether you’ve been betrayed, have cheated, or simply want to understand infidelity through a more human lens, this episode is a must-listen.

Let's connect:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/

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Timestamps:

00:00 Cheating isn’t always about sex

01:10 It’s more complex than just selfishness

02:50 Some cheat because they feel unseen

04:05 Childhood wounds can drive sabotage

05:40 Identity loss can trigger infidelity

06:54 Some avoid conflict by cheating

08:05 Unspoken sexual needs create distance

10:35 Cheating can mean disconnection from self

12:45 Both guilt and shame follow cheating

15:20 Healing takes honesty and effort

17:00 Cheaters must reflect on their why

19:20 Cheating shows deeper emotional disconnection

You say you have high standards. But is it really self-respect or self-sabotage in disguise?

In this episode, you’ll learn how to tell the difference between standards that protect your peace and walls that block your connection. Christina dives into the origin of emotional walls, how hyper-independence masks emotional wounds, and how to open up to love without losing yourself.

If you're constantly picking people apart, lonely but fiercely independent, or afraid others won’t approve of who you choose to love—this episode is your wake-up call.

Let's connect:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/

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00:00 Intro
01:02 Standards or walls
01:43 Christina’s checklist
02:28 Healthy standards vs emotional walls
03:15 Client examples
04:31 Canceling and catching the ick
05:12 Where walls come from
07:17 Hyper-independence
08:18 Boundaries vs walls
09:06 Cost of emotional walls
10:31 Their high standards hurt too
12:06 Standards that aren’t yours
13:05 Questions to ask
14:08 Real boundaries vs armor
15:09 Let them show up
16:42 Pause before protection
17:54 Your mantra
18:10 Outro

Are you falling for potential instead of choosing a partner who’s ready to show up for love today?

In this episode, Christina breaks down the hidden truth behind dating "fixer uppers." From childhood caretaking roles to modern-day overfunctioning, she reveals why some of us feel most alive in relationships where we are needed... but not necessarily valued.

You’ll learn:

✨ Why chemistry sometimes masks chaos

✨ Signs you’re in a fixer dynamic (and calling it love)

✨ What actually keeps you stuck in these relationships

✨ How to choose partners who meet you where you are

If you’ve ever said “they just need someone to believe in them,” this one’s for you. Because love isn’t a renovation project—and you’re not a contractor.

Let's connect:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/

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Timestamps:

00:00 Intro
00:35 The fixer trap
01:21 Childhood roots of caretaking
03:33 Christina’s personal story
04:38 The red flags you miss
06:24 Chaos vs. chemistry
07:43 Staying for the wrong reasons
10:25 Dependency ≠ connection
11:19 Afraid of healthy love
12:21 How to break the pattern
14:25 Ask this one question
15:39 Self-love as the cure
16:55 Final takeaway
18:02 Closing mantra

If you're addicted to Love Is Blind and love dissecting dating dynamics through a therapist’s lens, this episode is for you.

Christina Hathaway, licensed marriage and family therapist, is diving deep into the Minnesota edition of Love Is Blind Season 8—unpacking emotional red flags, toxic family ties, communication breakdowns, and the difference between compatibility and true connection.

From Sarah and Ben’s values clash, to Dave and Lauren’s trust issues and enmeshed sibling drama, to the healthiest couple on the show (hello, Taylor and Daniel 👏), this episode breaks down what makes or breaks a relationship before and after the pods.

👀 If your love life feels like a rerun—this episode will help you figure out whether it’s DejaVu… or it might be you.

Subscribe, review, and share with your fellow Love Is Blind fans. Let’s raise the bar on what real love looks like.

Let's connect:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/

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Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction
01:00 Ben & Sarah: Values Clash & People-Pleasing
08:50 Dave & Lauren: Trust Issues & Enmeshed Family Dynamics
16:30 Joey & Monica: Sibling Sabotage & Emotional Guarding
21:15 Christina’s Personal Story: Family Projection & Acceptance
22:15 Taylor & Daniel: Secure Attachment & Healthy Communication
28:35 Final Thoughts: Putting Yourself Out There
29:21 Outro