Is your dating life stuck in a cycle of extreme highs and sudden ghosting? You might be trapped in all or nothing thinking. In this episode of Dating Déjà Vu, Christina unpacks the dangers of black-and-white thinking in modern dating and how it sabotages real connection.

If you're constantly looking for red flags, obsessed with instant chemistry, or walking away too quickly when things aren’t perfect—this episode is for you. Christina shares relatable stories, helpful mindset shifts, and her viral 3-3-3 dating rule to help you move from fear-based dating to curiosity-driven connection.

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Timestamps:

00:00 – Welcome + Podcast intro

00:16 – Meet Christina Hathaway

00:25 – All or nothing thinking in dating

00:54 – How this mindset shows up in other areas of life

01:23 – Black-and-white thinking sabotages connection

01:47 – Christina’s personal example from high school

02:21 – What is all-or-nothing thinking?

02:49 – Extreme reactions and ghosting after good dates

03:22 – The fear behind rigid standards

03:37 – Examples of extreme thinking in dating

04:11 – Craving fast chemistry and intensity

04:43 – Labeling people too quickly

05:32 – Generalizing bad experiences

05:50 – Putting all your eggs in one basket

06:34 – Hurt becomes your whole reference point

07:03 – The illusion of control

07:20 – Vulnerability vs. protection

07:59 – Choosing curiosity over conclusions

08:27 – Questions to reflect on during early dating

08:44 – The 3-3-3 Rule for dating

09:08 – The power of slow burns

09:44 – Stop looking for reasons to leave

10:31 – Expecting uncertainty in relationships

10:43 – Christina’s personal love story

10:58 – Discomfort vs. protecting your peace

11:12 – The full 3x3x3 dating rule explained

12:07 – Avoiding infatuation cycles

12:21 – Wait for clarity before bailing

12:47 – Giving relationships space to grow

13:07 – Reflection: When have you bailed from discomfort?

13:44 – Identifying your extreme dating patterns

14:14 – Encouragement to stay in the gray

14:26 – Share, review, and support the show

14:56 – Final reminders