In this episode, we're diving into the four toxic behaviors that can predict relationship failure with 90% accuracy. Known as the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, these behaviors can slowly break down trust, intimacy, and emotional safety in a relationship.

Whether you're dating or in a long-term relationship, this episode will give you actionable strategies to improve communication, resolve conflict in a healthy way, and build a stronger, more connected partnership.

Tune in now and take the first step toward healthier, happier relationships!

Don’t forget to subscribe, leave a review, and follow Dating Déjà Vu on Instagram and YouTube for more relationship insights.

Let's connect:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/

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Timestamps:

00:00 Intro
01:03 Research-backed relationship failure indicators
01:31 Introduction to the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

01:42 Origin of the Four Horsemen concept
02:14 How arguing style predicts relationship outcomes
02:53 The Four Horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, Stonewalling
03:32 Breaking down how these behaviors damage relationships
03:45 Criticism: Attacking character instead of issues
04:44 Antidote to Criticism: Gentle Startup
07:17 Contempt: The most toxic behavior
09:04 Antidote to Contempt: Building appreciation
12:16 Defensiveness: Shifting blame and avoiding responsibility
13:27 Antidote to Defensiveness: Taking partial responsibility
15:04 Stonewalling: Emotional withdrawal and shutting down
16:04 Antidote to Stonewalling: Self-soothing and communication
17:52 Recognizing personal patterns and triggers
19:52 Small changes can shift relationship dynamics
21:14 The importance of effective conflict resolution
22:05 Outro

Love is in the air… but you don’t need a relationship to breathe it in.

Happy (early) Valentine’s Day! Whether you’re single, in a situationship, or just figuring things out, today doesn’t have to be a day of dread. In this episode, we’re talking about how to reframe the day from being “Singles Awareness Day” to a celebration of love in all its forms—self-love, friendships, family, and even your pets! From creating your own traditions to planning a self-love date, we’re covering all the ways to make this day fun and fulfilling.

Plus, if you’re in the early stages of dating or a situationship, Christina shares the best way to navigate the awkwardness of Valentine’s Day without overthinking it.

Listen in for empowering ideas, self-care rituals, and a reminder that love starts with YOU. 💕

Let's connect:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/

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Timestamps:

00:00 Intro
00:40 What not to do when you’re single on Valentine’s Day
01:01 Reframing Valentine’s Day
01:44 Understanding self-love
03:05 Shifting from lack to gratitude
03:53 Creating a Valentine’s Day ritual just for you
04:50 Ideas for a solo Valentine’s Day celebration
06:15 The power of a self-love date
07:10 Making Valentine’s Day a friendship holiday
08:40 Sending messages of appreciation instead of dwelling on loneliness
08:58 Navigating Valentine’s Day in a situationship or early dating
10:12 The litmus test
12:19 Ranking single activities from empowering to desperate
13:10 How to make the most of Valentine's Day
14:52 Outro

Valentine’s Day is almost here, and if you’re single, you might be tempted to fall into the same old traps—doom scrolling, texting your ex, or making last-minute desperate dating decisions. But not this year!

In this episode, we'll walk you through self-sabotaging behaviors, toxic relationship nostalgia, and why social media comparison is not the move. Whether you're embracing solo plans or finding ways to reframe your mindset, this episode will help you break the cycle and make Valentine’s Day work for you—not against you.

Hit play and let’s make this year different—because it might feel like déjà vu, but it also might be you!

Let's connect:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/

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Timestamps:

00:00 Intro
00:20 Recognizing dating patterns
00:59 The single person Valentine's Day spiral
01:16 Avoiding the self-sabotage trap
01:27 Understanding self-sabotage and its impact
01:39 Emotional consequences of self-sabotage
01:55 Identifying negative beliefs about being single
02:05 Reframing negative thoughts
02:19 How thoughts lead to behaviors
02:29 Doom scrolling and comparison traps
02:41 Why social media makes you feel worse
02:52 Muting people on social media
03:01 Taking a social media break
03:10 Recognizing unhealthy behaviors
03:26 Replaying past relationships
03:38 Romanticizing an ex
03:49 Forgetting why you broke up
04:01 Why you shouldn’t text your ex
04:21 Fantasy vs. reality in relationships
04:34 Seeing singlehood as an opportunity
04:56 How being single can be positive
05:10 The myth of relationships defining worth
05:23 Social creatures and the need for connection
05:34 Why being single is not failure
05:51 How your mindset shapes behavior
06:19 The importance of self-reflection
06:32 Learning from past relationships
06:44 Avoiding familiar but unhealthy patterns
07:07 Letting go of what’s holding you back
07:19 Self-worth is not tied to a relationship
07:35 Examples of happy singles and unhappy couples
07:51 Avoiding desperate dating decisions
08:10 Why you shouldn't date just to avoid loneliness
08:23 Texting casual flings for Valentine's Day plans
08:41 Why loneliness is not a reason to date
09:03 Embracing solo experiences
09:20 Why you should not text your ex
09:36 How nostalgia tricks you
09:55 Why checking on an ex is a bad idea
10:11 The facts about your past relationship
10:29 Distracting yourself from texting your ex
10:46 The dangers of social media comparison
11:02 Social media is a highlight reel
11:14 Why cute Instagram posts don’t mean healthy relationships
11:32 Understanding the reality behind perfect-looking couples
11:44 Examples from personal experience
12:05 The argument behind a happy social media post
12:20 Emotional spending as a coping mechanism
12:36 The risk of impulse shopping
12:54 Avoiding drastic changes like haircuts or diets
13:12 Avoiding extreme fitness or diet reactions
13:30 Respecting your body instead of punishing it
13:47 Why crash diets won’t fix your emotions
14:50 Avoiding toxic positivity
15:04 Why forced fun isn’t necessary
15:20 Acknowledging Valentine's Day without overreacting
15:38 How to move through the day mindfully
15:53 Self-sabotage recap
16:09 Cute vs. cringe segment
16:22 Texting your ex on Valentine's Day—cringe
16:34 Buying yourself flowers—cute
16:47 Going on a last-minute first date—cringe
17:00 Posting dramatic self-love messages—depends
17:16 Ordering a heart-shaped pizza—cute
17:40 Re-downloading dating apps in a panic—cringe
17:53 Having a Galentine’s night—cute
18:10 Buying a gift from your dog—depends
18:27 Going on a solo fancy dinner—depends
18:55 Posting throwback relationship pics—cringe
19:37 Asking for listener contributions
19:47 Preview of next episode
19:58 Outro

Do you date a type? In today's episode, we're talking about why you keep falling for the same kind of person, what’s driving those attractions, and how to break the cycle. If your relationships feel like reruns, it’s time to ask: is it fate, bad luck… or is it you? Tune in now!

Let's connect:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/

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Timestamps:

00:00 Intro
00:41 How To Share This Episode Without Offending
00:53 Subscribe And Leave A Review
01:17 The Idea Of Having A Type
02:02 Attraction Feels Random But Isn’t
02:20 Patterns In The People You Date
02:40 Childhood Influences Attraction
03:29 Is Your Type A Choice Or Shaped By The Past
04:01 Society’s Role In Defining A Type
04:18 Personal Preferences And Dating Lists
04:49 What We Want vs. What We Attract
05:11 Subconscious Attraction To Familiarity
05:28 Chaos And Predictability In Relationships
06:31 Why We Are Attracted To Avoidant Types
06:42 Emotional Inconsistency In Parents
07:44 Distance And Emotional Unavailability
08:33 The Impact Of Childhood Emotional Neglect
09:05 The Fixer Or Caretaker Type
09:20 Feeling Needed In A Relationship
10:18 Growing Up With Emotionally Distant Parents
12:03 The Chaos Conductor And Passion Addiction
12:19 Mistaking Intensity For Love
13:49 Emotional Addiction To Chaos
15:14 The Critic And Controlling Partner
15:46 Signs Of A Controlling Relationship
17:07 Highly Critical Parents And Conditional Love
18:22 Seeking External Validation In Relationships
19:18 The Fantasy Chaser And Long-Distance Attraction
20:24 Equating Longing With Love
21:49 Patterns That Lead To Dating Unavailable People
22:37 How To Break The Cycle
22:51 Identifying Common Themes In Past Relationships
23:59 Seeking Validation vs. Seeking Security
25:12 Growth And Healthy Relationship Dynamics
26:29 Personal Example Of Breaking Old Patterns
28:51 Identifying Core Emotional Needs
29:26 Redefining Attraction And Healthy Love
31:17 Practical Exercises For Conscious Dating
33:17 Reflection On Whether Your Type Helps You Grow
33:42 Preview Of Upcoming Podcast Topics
33:55 Final Thoughts And How To Stay Connected

If you've ever experienced the heartache of someone disappearing without a word, been strung along with false hope, or been swept up in an intense but short-lived romance, this episode is for you. We're breaking down what these terms really mean, how to spot them, and most importantly, how to protect yourself from falling victim to them. Join me as we navigate the complexities of modern relationships and equip you with the tools to safeguard your heart!

Let's connect:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/

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For our first full episode, join Christina as she breaks down the 10 biggest dating patterns that keep you choosing the wrong person—again and again. No sugarcoating, just straight talk. So, is it them, or is it you?

If you're ready to break the cycle and finally rewrite your love story, let’s get into it!

Let's connect:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/

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Timestamps:

00:00 Intro
00:10 Recognizing Relationship Patterns
00:25 Introduction to Episode Topic
00:39 Host Introduction and Coaching Background
00:48 Overview of Dating Patterns
00:59 Why We Attract Certain Partners
01:16 Understanding Relationship Patterns
01:32 Influence of Upbringing on Relationships
01:45 Defining Trauma in Relationships
02:11 How Trauma Shapes Self-Perception
02:26 The Role of Attachment in Dating
02:54 How Parents Influence Attachment Styles
03:06 Early Family Experiences and Emotional Regulation
03:18 Impact of a Parent’s Struggles on Childhood
03:31 Caretaking Behaviors in Childhood
03:47 How Childhood Patterns Show Up in Dating
04:07 Recognizing and Breaking Unhealthy Patterns
04:23 The Security of Familiar Relationship Patterns
04:45 Dating Emotionally Unavailable Partners
05:10 The One-Sided Nature of Emotional Unavailability
05:24 The Fear of Expressing Needs in Relationships
05:49 The Fixer-Upper Pattern in Dating
06:15 Trying to Change a Partner
06:47 How Upbringing Affects Partner Selection
07:10 Mistaking Intensity for Love
07:29 The Cycle of Highs and Lows in Toxic Relationships
07:45 The Impact of Chaotic Childhoods on Dating
08:12 Why Unstable Relationships Feel Normal
08:24 The Addiction to Drama in Relationships
08:42 Choosing Partners Who Mirror Personal Issues
09:06 Prioritizing Chemistry Over Compatibility
09:27 The Pitfalls of Physical Attraction Over Shared Values
09:50 The Role of Emotional Maturity in Relationships
10:15 The Fear of Being Alone
10:45 How Overdependence Leads to Unhealthy Relationships
11:18 Ignoring Red Flags in Early Dating Stages
11:45 Justifying Problematic Behaviors
12:19 Creating Trauma Bonds in Relationships
12:42 The Love Addict and Love Avoidant Cycle
13:02 How Trauma Bonds Reinforce Negative Patterns
13:14 Overprioritizing Others' Needs in Relationships
13:48 The People-Pleasing Trap in Dating
14:19 The Struggles of Setting Boundaries
14:57 Seeking External Validation Through Partners
15:11 The Trophy Partner Mentality
15:29 The Importance of Finding Genuine Connection
15:48 How Societal Standards Influence Partner Choices
16:18 Overcoming Relationship Patterns
16:54 Recognizing Your Own Role in Dating Struggles
17:19 Introduction to Reality TV Relationship Analysis
17:34 Encouragement to Subscribe and Follow
17:53 Closing

Are you stuck in a dating loop, always attracting the same type of partner—bad boys, emotionally unavailable women, or just plain chaos? Dating Déjà Vu is here to help you break the cycle.

Hosted by Christina Hathaway, a marriage and family therapist and relationship expert, this podcast dives deep into the patterns that keep you stuck, the psychology behind attraction, and how to finally rewrite your love story.

If you're ready to stop swiping right on the same mistakes and start building real, lasting connections, this is the podcast for you!

Comment below what dating or relationship topics you would like to hear about in our future episodes!

Let's connect:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/

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Timestamps:

00:00 Intro
00:22 Host Introduction
00:41 Background in Marriage and Family Therapy
00:56 Podcast Goals and Topics
01:12 Listener Participation and Call-Ins
01:23 Education and Career Background
01:37 Coaching Programs and Podcast Mention
01:50 Personal Journey with Dating
02:07 Family Background and Early Influences
02:21 Mother’s Emotional Regulation Challenges
02:35 Caretaking Patterns in Childhood
02:46 Connection to Dating Behaviors
03:04 Buying Affection and Seeking Validation
03:22 Understanding Parents’ Impact on Relationships
03:39 Moving to Arizona and Social Struggles
03:56 Early Romantic Relationships and Caretaking
04:16 High School Dating Experiences
04:41 College Insecurity and Friend Comparisons
04:57 Trust Issues in Dating
05:10 Developing Self-Worth Narratives
05:27 Acting on Insecurities in Relationships
05:45 The Fixer-Upper Dating Pattern
06:00 Past Dating Mistakes and Reflections
06:18 Recognizing Toxic Patterns
06:36 The Cycle of Relationship Mistakes
06:50 Financial and Emotional Investments in Partners
07:13 Graduate School Struggles and Relationship Burdens
07:28 Rock Bottom and Self-Realization
07:43 Dating Younger Partners and Unhealthy Dynamics
07:55 Recognizing Personal Contributions to Relationship Failures
08:12 Working in Child Crimes and Emotional Impact
08:26 Relationship Breakdowns and Self-Sabotage
08:44 Personal Growth and Self-Discovery
09:01 Self-Reflection and Podcast Tagline Explanation
09:29 Acting on Self-Worth Beliefs
09:46 Understanding Relationship Patterns and Behaviors
10:01 Seeking Validation vs. Genuine Security
10:18 Spiritual Growth and Self-Acceptance
10:34 Healing Journey and Setting Boundaries
10:49 Personal Transformation and Dating Changes
11:07 Meeting Husband on Tinder
11:18 The Reality of Healthy Relationships
11:33 Introducing Reality TV Relationship Analysis
11:49 Early Stages of Husband’s Relationship
12:06 Choosing Security Over Excitement
12:19 Recognizing Unhealthy Dating Patterns
12:34 Reframing Perspectives on Stability in Relationships
12:55 Dating Boundaries and Self-Respect
13:09 Breakup and Moving On
13:27 Recognizing the Importance of Self-Worth
13:46 The Tinder Dating Experience
14:06 Running Into Future Husband Again
14:20 Second First Date and Reconnection
14:37 Developing a Healthy Relationship Dynamic
14:59 Building a Secure and Loving Relationship
15:14 Importance of Mutual Choice in Love
15:47 Relationship with Self and Wellness Coaching
16:02 Self-Worth and Relationship Success
16:17 Connecting Personal Development to Dating
16:30 Recognizing Healthy Love When It Appears
16:46 First Full Episode Preview – Relationship Patterns
17:04 Podcast Subscription and Social Media Promotion
17:19 Reality TV Relationship Segment Naming
17:34 Closing