Dating Déjà vu

Dating Déjà vu

By Dating Déjà VuSociety & CultureRelationships
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Dating Déjà vu episodes

  • 31 | More Access, Less Intimacy: The Real Cost of Hookup Culture

    In this episode, Christina dives deep into the complex world of hookup culture, exposing the emotional toll behind the promise of "no strings attached" encounters.


    Episode highlights:🩵 Why casual sex might be leaving you feeling emptier than empowered🩵 How early exposure to sex can distort your relationship expectations🩵 The critical difference between being desired and being truly seen


    Let's connect:

    Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0

    Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast


    Timestamps:

    00:00 - Intro03:04 - How Hookup Culture Sells a False Narrative05:19 - How Early Experiences Shape Sexual Perspectives07:15 - The Misconception of Physical Closeness09:18 - Why We Confuse Desire with Value12:00 - What Real Connection Actually Looks Like14:27 - Reflection Questions for Listeners


    17 min
  • 30 | The One Thing That Keeps a Relationship Going

    What really keeps a relationship strong? Spoiler: It’s not vacations, proposals, or grand romantic gestures. In this episode, Christina reveals the one thing that research shows sustains love in the long run: bids for connection.

    Listen now to learn what it means and how to recognize and respond to these small but powerful interactions that build lasting intimacy—and how ignoring them might be quietly eroding your connection.


    Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0

    Let's connect:

    Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast


    Timestamps:

    00:00 – Intro
    01:37 – The real thing that sustains relationships: micro-moments
    02:41 – What are “bids for connection”? Explained with everyday examples
    04:28 – Client story: mistaking grand gestures for intimacy
    05:20 – Why grand gestures don’t guarantee real love
    06:44 – Real-life micro-moment examples from Christina’s marriage
    07:44 – Tiny repairs after conflict build trust
    08:55 – How helpfulness can become a powerful bid for connection
    09:17 – The erosion of love vs. the explosion: which one really ends relationships
    10:59 – Why we miss bids: phones, work, overwhelm, and emotional baggage
    11:39 – How to start recognizing and responding to bids
    13:01 – Reflection and journal prompt walkthrough
    14:08 – Final takeaway: The magic is in the moments
    14:25 – Outro and ways to connect online

    15 min
  • 29 | Conditional vs Unconditional Love in Modern Dating

    Let's dive deep into the subtle yet powerful ways conditional love shows up in modern dating and how it may be sabotaging your relationships without you even knowing it. From “perfect girl” syndrome to confusing anxiety with chemistry, she breaks down how many of us learned early on that love must be earned, and how that belief plays out on Bumble, in our DMs, and even in long-term partnerships.

    Christina also shares vulnerable moments from her own life and client stories, illuminating the path to unconditional love: love that sees, holds, and accepts the real you—not the performance.

    This is your wake-up call to stop auditioning for love and start showing up as your whole, unfiltered self. Because if love feels like a prize you have to earn, it might be time to rewrite your script.


    Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Let's connect:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast



    00:00 – Intro

  • 00:42 – Conditional vs. unconditional love

  • 01:25 – The invisible scorecard in dating

  • 02:21 – Swipe culture & performing for love

  • 03:31 – Self-help burnout & chasing "better"

  • 04:00 – Client afraid to express needs

  • 05:26 – “Perfect girl” syndrome

  • 05:42 – How childhood shaped your view of love

  • 08:20 – Anxiety vs. chemistry

  • 08:40 – What real unconditional love looks like

  • 09:26 – Personal stories of emotional safety

  • 11:08 – Love for who you are, not what you do

  • 12:09 – No fear of rejection = safe love

  • 13:18 – Masks vs. boundaries in relationships

  • 14:59 – Passion or panic?

  • 15:20 – Love is a birthright, not a prize

  • 16:05 – Spiritual source of unconditional love

  • 16:39 – Look for values, not performances

  • 18:04 – Conflict repair over perfection

  • 19:07 – Boundaries, needs, and being human

  • 20:13 – Journal prompts for reflection

  • 21:40 – Are you being chosen for you?

  • 22:23 – Subscribe, review, book a Clarity Call

  • 22:54 – Outro

    • 24 min
  • 28 | The Silent Drift: When You Start Withholding Sex, Affection, or Truth

    Have you ever been in a relationship that looked great on the outside—but felt empty on the inside?

    In this episode, Christina dives into the quiet emotional detachment that happens long before a breakup. She explores why people start withholding sex, affection, or even updates about their lives—not as a form of punishment, but as a protective response when emotional needs are repeatedly unmet.

    Using Bravo stars Paige DeSorbo and Craig Conover as a timely pop culture case study, Christina breaks down how emotional withdrawal shows up in real life, why people stay in these situations longer than they should, and how your body often leaves a relationship before your voice ever does.

    If you’ve been walking on emotional eggshells, this episode is a must-listen.


    Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0


    Let's connect:

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast


    Timestamps:

  • 00:00 – Introduction to “The Silent Drift”

  • 00:28 – Bravo reference: Paige DeSorbo and Craig Conover

  • 00:55 – The drift begins with silence, not fights

  • 01:31 – Withholding starts when safety is lost

  • 02:27 – Withholding ≠ punishment; it’s a defense mechanism

  • 03:05 – Core emotional needs and how they show up in relationships

  • 03:56 – When needs stop being met and fantasy replaces connection

  • 04:19 – Paige’s emotional withdrawal from Craig

  • 05:16 – Christina’s personal story: success, guilt, and staying too long

  • 06:02 – Your body leaves the relationship before your words do

  • 06:39 – Manifesting the dream, but living in anxiety

  • 06:58 – The external picture vs. the internal experience

  • 07:14 – When the nervous system knows before the mind does

  • 07:38 – A new season of life can reveal a partner’s true character

  • 08:10 – Paige needed support, not projection

  • 08:29 – External stress reveals cracks in emotional connection

  • 08:44 – Signs of drifting: fantasizing about being alone

  • 09:30 – Christina’s story: suburbia, disconnection, and the wrong life

  • 09:59 – “I’m tired” often means “I feel invisible”

  • 10:21 – Therapy and being seen in your relationship

  • 10:48 – Feeling invisible when your partner minimizes your success

  • 11:08 – Sex should be connection, not performance

  • 11:31 – Withholding information because “they won’t get it”

  • 12:02 – Real-life example: casual lies to avoid emotional presence

  • 12:34 – When you stop fighting because you’ve given up

  • 12:59 – Mentor story: “I left with nothing. I was so done.”

  • 13:28 – It’s not too late, but it is time to tell the truth

  • 13:46 – Could Paige and Craig have fixed it with emotional accountability?

  • 14:22 – Questions to ask yourself if you're in the drift

  • 14:36 – What happens when you speak up—and they don’t hear you

  • 15:24 – Paige’s emotional transformation shown through her confessionals

  • 15:43 – What are you protecting yourself from?

  • 15:58 – Why aren’t you protecting your feelings?

  • 16:15 – The version of yourself the relationship forced you to hide

  • 16:34 – Red flag: Your partner can’t afford a ring and makes it your problem

  • 16:51 – Relationship coaching and therapy: where the real work happens

  • 17:03 – You can’t build intimacy while suppressing your truth

  • 17:21 – It’s time to be honest: Are your needs continually minimized?

  • 17:36 – When you're in the drift and already emotionally gone

  • 17:59 – It's okay to leave. Even if it’s late. Even if it’s messy.

  • 18:30 – Listen to your body—it’s speaking for your silenced self

  • 18:46 – Share this episode with the friend who needs to hear it

  • 19:00 – Support the show: Subscribe, review, and follow

  • 19:16 – Outro

    • 20 min
  • 27 | Manifesting a Partner vs. Chasing a Pattern

    Let's dive into the psychology and spirituality of manifestation. But this isn’t your typical “script it and sip your green juice” advice. Christina blends therapeutic insight with real-life strategies for healing your nervous system, rewiring your beliefs, and becoming emotionally available to yourself first. Whether you're tired of breadcrumbing, ghosting, or repeating dating patterns, this episode will help you break the cycle and manifest the kind of love you truly deserve!


    Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0


    Let's connect:

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast


  • Timestamps:

    00:00 – Introduction

  • 01:03 – Christina’s story

  • 02:42 – Healing begins: therapy, journaling, and manifesting from the inside out

  • 03:34 – What she actually wrote in her journal

  • 05:09 – Why manifestation isn’t about scripting every detail of your future partner

  • 05:41 – You don’t attract what you want—you attract what you believe you deserve

  • 08:00 – The Reticular Activation System: your brain’s love GPS

  • 09:49 – Nervous system survival mode vs. calm, secure love

  • 11:56 – The first rule of real manifestation: emotional availability with yourself

  • 13:06 – Investing in love: the woman who paid $10k and got engaged

  • 15:17 – “You don’t have the headspace to love”—a tough truth from a client session

  • 16:26 – Drop the fantasy. Focus on mutual energy, clarity, and consistency

  • 17:27 – Gratitude shifts your vibration—and your dating outcomes

  • 18:48 – Living like the version of you who knows she’s worthy

  • 19:08 – Signs you’re truly ready to manifest a healthy relationship

  • 20:00 – How daily gratitude helps you attract real love

  • 21:05 – Final truth bomb: “You’re not being ignored—you’re filtering love through wounds”

  • 22:07 – Outro

    • 23 min
  • 26 | The Dream Girl Wound

    Ever been praised for being “the total package”— beautiful, successful, easygoing—only to be ghosted the moment you show emotion or vulnerability? In this powerful episode, Christina Hathaway, marriage and family therapist and dating expert, breaks down the Dream Girl Wound— the pattern where high-achieving women are idolized for being perfect but abandoned when they act human.

    If you’ve felt like love only comes when you’re "on" and performing, this episode is for you. Christina explores the origins of this pattern, the pain it creates, and most importantly, how to heal from it so you can build real connection without hiding your truth. Listen now!

    Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0


    Let's connect:

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast


    Timestamps:

    00:00 – Welcome to Dating Deja Vu
    00:11 – Are you always "the dream girl" until you show emotion?
    01:13 – The roots: Internal Family Systems & the protector role
    02:14 – What the dream girl archetype looks like in relationships
    03:29 – The moment vulnerability enters: and they vanish
    04:32 – Childhood roots: praised for perfection, not humanity
    05:32 – Showing up fully — and how that becomes a performance
    06:46 – Why letting your guard down feels like a gamble
    08:29 – The dopamine hit of love bombing vs. the pain of being real
    09:10 – Client story: praised, then dismissed for asking for consistency
    10:14 – #Step 1: Let go of the idea that love must be earned through perfection
    11:29 – #Step 2: Let your authenticity, vulnerability, and messy side show
    11:55 – #Step 3: Reconnect to your self-worth (beyond your image or performance)
    13:17 – #Step 4: Learn to disappoint people who only want the highlight reel
    13:47 – Doing the deeper work: parts work, compassion, curiosity
    15:13 – Use authenticity to screen for emotional maturity
    16:46 – Dream girl ≠ whole girl — own your full self
    17:36 – Even the most “perfect” women feel insecure
    18:05 – Share your story + how to work with Christina
    18:35 – Follow & subscribe on all platforms
    18:54 – Outro

    19 min
  • 25 | Are You Really Ready to Date?

    Before you redownload dating apps or—worse—text your ex, ask yourself the question most people skip: "Am I truly ready to date again?"

    In this episode, we're going to talk about the often-ignored signs you're not ready to date—and what real readiness actually looks like. This isn't about blaming or shaming. It's about protecting your peace, rebuilding your foundation, and dating from a place of confidence and clarity instead of trauma and fear.


    Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0


    Let's connect:

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast


    Timestamps:

  • 00:00 – Introduction

  • 01:20 – Don’t re-download the apps just yet—take a pause

  • 03:05 – Dating readiness = protection, not perfection

  • 04:12 – Why we rush to date and what monkey-branching really is

  • 05:25 – The importance of knowing who you are before dating

  • 06:35 – 6 signs you’re not ready to date begin

  • 06:47 – #1: You're afraid to express wants and needs

  • 09:04 – #2: You're afraid to ask the hard questions

  • 12:10 – #3: You notice red flags but stay anyway

  • 13:54 – #4: You attach fast and spiral often

  • 15:01 – #5: You're dating to prove something

  • 16:41 – #6: Your self-worth depends on their attention

  • 18:13 – What being ready to date actually looks like

  • 19:56 – Readiness = capacity (not perfection)

  • 20:45 – Recent client win

  • 21:30 – Outro

    • 23 min
  • 24 | The Real Reason He Won’t Commit (And What Whole-Value Women Do Differently)

    In this no-fluff, truth-bomb-packed episode, Christina dives into why some women keep attracting emotionally unavailable men and what it actually means to be a high-value woman.

    If you’ve ever been ghosted, breadcrumbed, or left wondering why he won’t commit, this one’s for you. Christina unpacks the difference between the “pick me” mindset and the self-rooted, magnetic energy of a whole-value woman.

    This episode is your permission slip to stop auditioning and start directing.


    Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0


    Let's connect:

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast


    Timestamps:

    00:00 – Introduction
    01:18 – Pick me vs. high-value woman
    02:08 – Accepting crumbs = mistaking connection
    03:15 – Dropping standards to stay liked
    04:10 – The real issue: not being enough for you
    05:00 – Meredith Grey moment + pick me cringe
    06:26 – Rooted > rigid: setting real standards
    07:24 – Layaway vs. Buy Now energy
    08:05 – Christina’s dating story
    09:19 – Wholeness > neediness
    10:25 – Dating multiple men with integrity
    11:28 – Observe, don’t push
    12:06 – Plot twist: her now-partner said no
    12:36 – Walking away with self-worth
    13:24 – Consistency > chemistry
    14:29 – Covert pick me girl feels
    15:14 – You’re the director, not the auditionee
    15:50 – Outro

    17 min
  • 23 | Perfect Compatibility Doesn’t Exist: Here’s What Does!

    Is “perfect compatibility” keeping you single? In this episode, Christina dives into the myth of the "perfect partner" and why chasing a fantasy version of love may be sabotaging your chances of real connection.

    Christina shares personal stories, client examples, and professional insight to help you shift your mindset from unrealistic expectations to meaningful compatibility. Whether you're hypercritical on dating apps or constantly mistaking chemistry for chaos, this episode will help you reframe how you date and who you’re really looking for.


    Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0


    Let's connect:

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast


    Timestamps:

  • 00:00 Intro

  • 01:20 The fantasy of perfect compatibility

  • 02:14 Codependency and filling emotional voids

  • 03:51 Rom-coms, social media, and curated perfection

  • 04:51 Real relationships require effort and repair

  • 05:49 How differences can create connection

  • 06:47 Love bombing and predators who prey on fantasy

  • 07:56 The problem with rigid non-negotiables

  • 09:06 Performing perfection to gain love

  • 10:52 Emotional safety and how it shows up

  • 12:27 Compatibility is built, not found

  • 13:14 Being too critical when swiping

  • 14:32 Confusing chemistry with anxiety

  • 15:41 What to look for instead: Values, maturity, communication

  • 17:39 Journal prompts to shift your mindset

  • 18:47 Final thoughts and coaching info

  • 19:22 Outro

    • 20 min
  • 22 | What If You’re the Problem in Your Relationships?

    Let's talk about the unconscious patterns that might be sabotaging your relationships in today's episode. It’s not about shame, it’s about ownership. From unspoken expectations to emotional hijacking and trauma-driven “gut feelings,” Christina walks you through the real reasons love might keep slipping through your fingers, and how to finally break the cycle.

    If you’ve ever said “they just don’t get me” or felt like you’re always the one chasing love that never lands, this one’s for you! Tune in now!


    Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0


    Let's connect:

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast


    00:00 Intro

    01:30 It’s easy to point fingers, but what if it’s you repeating the same patterns?02:46 Stop expecting psychic partners: Love is built on communication, not energy reading

    04:24 Relationship red flag #1: Loving someone for their potential

    06:23 Red flag #2: Shutting down emotionally to control the narrative

    08:03 Red flag #3: Hijacking the emotional climate of the relationship

    09:09 Personal story: When love still protects toxicity

    11:08 Red flag #4: Mistaking anxiety for intuition

    14:10 Trauma vs. truth: How to know if your gut is real or reactive

    15:20 Red flag #5: Keeping a receipt of every mistake

    16:57 Red flag #6: Everyone knows your relationship drama—except your partner

    18:24 Are you unconsciously sabotaging intimacy by trying to protect yourself?19:55 The breakthrough: Loving with more responsibility

    20:35 Reflective questions to build emotional safety

    20:45 Coaching offers

    22 min

About Dating Déjà vu

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It might be déjà vu but it also might be you!