Dating Déjà vu

In this episode, Christina unpacks the subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways we change ourselves to be loved, wanted, or accepted. Are you healing and growing because you want to or are you unconsciously shifting to become more palatable for your partner?

She dives into the difference between self-evolution and self-abandonment, explains the psychology behind shape-shifting in dating, and offers powerful self-check questions to help you reclaim your self-worth, authenticity, and voice in relationships. If you're tired of auditioning for love, this one’s for you.

Let's connect:

Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0

Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast

Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction
00:20 Meet Christina and the podcast
00:31 Are you changing for you or for them
00:53 Inspired by real client conversations
01:11 People shrink themselves in relationships
01:42 Self-growth vs self-abandonment
02:15 Story of someone changing to please a partner
03:05 Change rooted in validation doesn’t last
03:50 The pressure to shape-shift in dating
04:33 People silence themselves without being asked
05:11 Acting feels heavy because it’s not real
05:27 Growth feels expansive, protection feels tight
06:04 Real change aligns with your values
06:33 Would you stay this version if they left
07:30 Childhood teaches us to adapt to be safe
08:39 Dating becomes a performance for approval
09:42 Validation-seeking leads to unhealthy change
10:01 Real love doesn’t ask you to shrink
10:45 Growth means setting boundaries and staying close to self
11:34 Christina shares how healing changed her relationships
12:23 Don’t shame your past self for surviving
12:56 Heal your own holes to become whole
13:29 Do you love yourself when you’re not performing
13:44 Closing thoughts and clarity call invite

Love Island fans, let's talk!

In this episode of Dating Déjà Vu, Christina dives deep into the messy (and frankly, uncomfortable) dynamic between Huda and Jeremiah from Love Island USA.

Christina dissects what love addiction looks like in real-time, the psychological games at play, and how emotional manipulation, insecurity, and trauma bonding can destroy even the most passionate connections.Whether or not you watch the show, this episode is a must-listen for anyone who’s dated someone too fast, too soon, or felt stuck in a fantasy that turned toxic!

Listen now!

Let's connect:

Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0

Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast

Timestamps:

Is your relationship starting to feel more like cohabitating than connecting? In this episode of Dating Deja Vu, therapist and relationship expert Christina Hathaway dives deep into the quiet crisis so many couples face: the shift from romantic partners to roommates. She breaks down why this happens, how to spot the signs of hidden loneliness in your relationship, and most importantly—what to do about it.

Whether you're dating, married, or somewhere in between, this episode will challenge you to reflect, reconnect, and revive intimacy without relying on forced date nights or grand gestures.

Listen now!

Let's connect:

Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0

Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast

Timestamps:

00:00 – Intro
00:49 – Are you feeling more like roommates than lovers?
01:22 – The signs of "roommate energy" in relationships
02:33 – How disconnection slowly creeps in
03:49 – Mundane routines vs. meaningful connection
04:49 – Loneliness inside a “functional” relationship
06:27 – Christina’s honest personal reflections
07:09 – “You can still be in love and feel alone”
08:05 – No repair, no curiosity, no foreplay = disconnection
08:57 – Over-functioning and bargaining: what we do when intimacy fades
09:40 – Why polarity and tension matter in romantic connection
10:39 – Reigniting without forcing it: “Name it, don’t blame it”
11:19 – Micro-moments and rituals over grand gestures
12:42 – Reclaiming your own energy and vitality
14:08 – Ask better questions to get deeper with your partner
14:56 – If you're the only one trying: disrupting the cycle
15:41 – Coaching, counseling, and choosing intimacy
16:41 – The truth about roommate energy—it’s not the end, but it’s a sign
17:13 – You deserve to be chosen, not just tolerated
17:24 – How to work with Christina + final message

In this episode, Christina gets brutally honest about what it actually takes to move on after a breakup without ghosting your feelings or glamorizing your ex. From the grief of “the future that never happened” to the shame spiral of the inner critic, Christina breaks down the real psychology behind heartbreak and why feeling your emotions is the most radical thing you can do.

Whether you’re fresh off a split or still low-key stalking their Instagram, this episode gives you a step-by-step playbook to stop repeating patterns, reclaim your power, and reconnect to you.

Hit play now!

Let's connect:

Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0

Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast

Timestamps:

Is your love language still stuck in the 90s?

In this episode, Christina breaks down the five original love languages and gives them the 2025 upgrade they desperately needed.

We’re talking less about flowers and sweet texts, and more about safety, consent, intentionality, and presence. Christina shares personal stories and real-life examples to help you recognize how these love languages show up in today’s modern relationships and how they might be misfiring without you even realizing it.

Tune in now!

Let's connect:

Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0

Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast

Timestamps:

Could the role you played in your family growing up be sabotaging your relationships today?

In today’s episode, Christina unpacks the hidden dynamics of family roles—those subconscious identities many of us assume in childhood to navigate dysfunction. These roles might’ve once helped us survive, but they often sabotage our adult relationships and self-worth.

Whether you’re navigating healing, parenting with more intention, or just trying to understand yourself better, this episode is for you.

If this resonates, don’t forget to follow and share! Every listen helps spread awareness and healing. Let’s break cycles together!

Let's connect:

Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0

Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast

Timestamps:

00:00 – Intro
01:38 – The root of dysfunctional family roles: survival and coping
02:48 – The Hero: perfectionism and performance as protection
04:13 – The Scapegoat: acting out the family’s hidden pain
05:38 – The Lost Child: invisibility as a shield
06:57 – The Mascot: using humor to diffuse tension
08:17 – The Enabler: keeping the peace at a personal cost
09:57 – How these roles can follow us into adulthood
12:18 – Awareness as the catalyst for change
13:33 – Breaking the cycle: naming, grieving, and healing
15:10 – A message of hope: you’re not broken—you adapted
16:05 – Outro

Not all therapy is created equal, especially when it comes to love, dating, and relationships. In this episode, Christina explores the most important red flags to watch for in dating and relationship therapists so you can protect your emotional well-being and get the support you deserve.Whether you're navigating a breakup, building better relationship patterns, or healing from past trauma, your therapist should be a safe, skilled, and supportive guide. Christina breaks down common signs that your therapist may be crossing boundaries, offering biased advice, or making your relationship issues worse—not better.If you've ever felt unheard, judged, or confused in sessions, this episode is a must-listen. You’ll walk away with clear insight on what to look for, how to advocate for yourself, and when it might be time to find a new therapist.

Let's connect:

Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast

Timestamps:

00:00 Why therapist red flags matter in dating and relationship work

02:41 Oversharing shifts focus away from you

04:57 Judgment makes it hard to open up

06:46 Being late or forgetful shows disrespect

08:35 No challenge or too much critique isn’t helpful

10:11 Friend-like behavior crosses boundaries

12:24 Ignoring culture or identity is harmful

14:48 Over-labeling overlooks your real story

17:04 Trust your gut when something feels off

18:36 Speak up or find a better fit

20:26 You deserve a therapist who truly supports you

Is your new relationship post-breakup helping you heal—or hiding your hurt?

In this episode, Christina dives deep into one of the most common (and confusing) post-breakup questions: is this new partner a rebound or a reset?

Whether you're dating for healing, distraction, or connection, your post-breakup decisions shape your future relationships. Christina helps you reflect on your emotional readiness, shares why your nervous system might be pushing you to pair up too soon, and offers signs that you're ready to date again—with intention.

Let's connect:

Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast

Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

01:31 Why what you do after the breakup matters most

02:06 Defining a rebound: Dating for avoidance, not alignment

02:49 Grieving vs. numbing with novelty

03:54 How unprocessed pain shows up in your next relationship

04:34 Why we rush to replace: Attachment, wiring, and self-worth

05:33 Distraction vs. decision: Why rebounds repeat your past

06:30 Example from The Valley: Brittany’s post-divorce dating

07:36 What a true reset looks like

08:10 Emotional processing: Letting yourself feel and move through grief

09:21 Dating for desire, not desperation

10:10 Christina’s healing journey post-breakup

11:07 When a rebound can become a reset

11:42 Self-reflection questions to determine if it’s rebound or reset

12:35 Healing must come before clarity and connection

13:06 Outro

Can you be career-driven and still embody femininity in relationships?

In this episode, Christina dives deep into the double bind faced by high-achieving women in the dating world. She unpacks how ambition, control, and performance can sabotage romantic connections, and how embracing softness doesn’t mean sacrificing power.

This episode is a must-listen for all the ambitious, goal-oriented women who feel stuck in a cycle of overfunctioning, micromanaging, or attracting emotionally unavailable partners. You’ll walk away with mindset shifts, actionable insights, and a reminder: you don’t have to trade ambition for intimacy.

Listen now!

Let's connect:

Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast

Timestamps:

• 00:00 Why ambitious women shrink or overfunction in dating.

• 01:21 The struggle between being driven and staying feminine.

• 02:42 The two extremes: leading with success or playing small.

• 04:28 Balancing confidence without being seen as intimidating.

• 05:21 Understanding masculine vs. feminine energy in love.

• 06:49 A client story about micromanaging dates and its impact.

• 08:18 Why dating should be about presence, not performance.

• 09:43 How childhood conditioning fuels the need to prove.

• 12:53 Why nervous system regulation is key to receiving love.

• 14:04 The power of pausing before jumping into control mode.

• 15:37 How to express your needs without overexplaining.

• 17:33 Dating isn’t a performance review—it’s real life.

Are they gaslighting you or are you just misusing the term?
In this episode, Christina breaks down two of the most misunderstood (and overused) buzzwords in modern dating: gaslighting and narcissism. With compassion and clarity, she explains how labeling every ex or situationship with these terms can be damaging. Not just to them, but to your own healing.

Let's connect:

Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast

Timestamps:

00:00 – Intro
01:42 – Why we misuse dramatic terms to feel heard
03:03 – Understanding emotional manipulation vs. conflict
03:36 – What gaslighting really is (and isn’t)
05:35 – The power imbalance and how low self-trust attracts manipulation
06:54 – Gaslighting as a defense mechanism rooted in trauma
08:12 – Clear example: Flirty behavior vs. real gaslighting
09:53 – Core difference: invalidation vs. disagreement
10:30 – Defining narcissism and the “better than” ego state
11:44 – Narcissistic traits vs. clinically diagnosed Narcissistic Personality Disorder
13:27 – Mislabeling every “toxic” partner waters down real red flags
14:39 – The difference between emotional immaturity and narcissism
16:00 – Grandiose vs. vulnerable (covert) narcissism explained
17:59 – Why narcissists use martyrdom or emotional withdrawal to regain control
18:33 – Questions to ask if you think you dated a narcissist
19:51 – Owning your role in unhealthy dynamics
20:45 – Gaslighting recovery: Rebuilding self-trust and clarity
21:43 – How to speak your truth even after emotional invalidation
22:32 – You don’t need a label to leave an unhealthy relationship
23:14 – Outro