The Wilde Way: Fertility Unfiltered

28. When Trying to Conceive Becomes Exhausting (and How Nervous System Regulation Actually Helps)


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Let’s be real for a second.

Trying to conceive can be absolutely bloody exhausting.
Not just emotionally, but on a whole-body, nervous-system, running-on-fumes level.

In this episode of The Wilde Way, we’re talking about why trying for a baby can feel so draining, even when you’re “coping”, doing all the right things, and holding it together on the outside.

Because TTC isn’t just about tracking cycles and timing sex.
It’s the waiting.
The hoping.
The bracing.
The monthly emotional gymnastics.
That quiet urgency humming away in the background like a dodgy fridge you can’t ignore.

And yep, your body feels that.

In this episode, I unpack why urgency and waiting don’t just live in your head, but in your nervous system, and why nervous system regulation isn’t some fluffy wellness add-on for fertility. It’s actually pretty central to how supported and safe your body feels while you’re doing this.

I also share a bit of my own recent wake-up call around depletion, burnout, postpartum recovery, and what happens when a body has been giving for a long time and finally goes, “Okay… that’s enough now.”

Inside the episode, we chat about:

  • Why trying to conceive often becomes a full-body state of vigilance
  • How urgency and pressure impact your nervous system and fertility
  • Why your body may shift into protection mode when it’s been under strain
  • The difference between hope and urgency (and why they’re not the same thing)
  • Why “just relax” is trash advice and can honestly get in the bin
  • Five practical, doable ways to regulate your nervous system
  • Why rest, rhythm, and safety matter more than trying harder

This episode is for the woman who’s been giving a lot.
Holding a lot.
And quietly wondering why she feels so bloody tired.

You’re not broken.
Your body isn’t failing you.
It’s communicating.

💛 Support mentioned in this episode
If listening to this makes you think, “I don’t want to do this alone anymore,” I offer free one-on-one preconception chats. Zero pressure. Just a real, grounded conversation.

👉 Book a free preconception chat here:
https://calendly.com/abi-van-dev/30min

🕯 Tools I love for nervous system support
I mention red light and blue-light management in this episode. I personally use Bon Charge and love their red light bulbs and blue-blocking glasses.

15% off Bon Charge with code: WILDE15
👉 Affiliate link: https://boncharge.com/?rfsn=8319057.375f04

Take what resonates. Leave the rest.
And be kind to yourself this week.

If you’re craving extra support, my Link in Bio is packed with goodies like my free Ultimate Preconception Checklist and 10 AI Tools to Support Your Hormones, Cycle & Sanity. You can even snag a free 30-minute call with me if you want to talk through your fertility journey and what’s next.

And if you want more, come hang out with me on the ‘Gram @abi.wilde — it’s where I share lots of free tips, tools, and fertility vibes to achieve whole-body healing.

Until next time, mama x

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The Wilde Way: Fertility UnfilteredBy Abi Wilde