In this spicy little gem of an episode, we dive deep into the chaotic world of baby parties—those adult-hostage situations disguised as children’s celebrations. Kiko and Chef Maurice break down the do’s, don’ts, and “please have alcohols” of organizing kid parties (hint: finger food and bump-friendly bathrooms are a must). We talk about the sacred chaos of prepping for a kid’s birthday party—where anxiety, BBQ judgment, and Chick-fil-A betrayal all collide. Chef Maurice debates tacos vs hot dogs vs his entire reputation, while Funko Kiko strategizes how to avoid adult small talk by hiding in the soccer field with the kids (and possibly a vape).

Then we slide straight into the nonsense of weddings that charge guests—yes, apparently some people think their love is worth $300 a head (spoiler: it’s not). We brainstorm honeymoon fund strategies, wonder how many elephants one can ethically pet in Africa, and unpack awkward social questions like “when are you having kids?” (Answer: when Dominoes gets fun). Oh, and yes, we do tackle proper vape pen etiquette at family-friendly functions. Because we're professionals like that.

We touch the highly controversial and incredibly important topic of… being the fun uncle (or as we call it, the Funcle). Can you give your teenage cousin a hit of the pen? What about a shot of tequila for your 20-year-old nephew at abuela's house? We lay down the morally flexible ground rules for underage drinking, pen etiquette, and how not to get canceled at baby birthday parties. Oh, and if you're not hiding a flask in your cargo shorts, are you even doing parenthood-adjacent parties right?

Stay for the laughs, leave with a new outlook on family bonding and public intoxication.