In this episode, we dive into the truly sacred mysteries: if the body and blood of Christ were snacks, would yours be an espresso martini and an Oreo? Because, same. We unpack the chaotic gamble that is online shopping (will it arrive? will it fit? will it exist?), and our complete inability to keep up with Gen Z slang—what even is a sigma male and why does it sound like a printer setting?

We also spiral about the horrors of our old Instagram captions (#blessed #sunsetvibes), the terrifying resurrection of jelly sandals (our arches said no), and what deserves our eternal loyalty stamp (spoiler: Jaycee would die for Activate, the adult playground we didn’t know we needed). Plus, we talk fave podcasts, guilty pleasure shows (hi Summer House), why Honda Civics are basically emotional support vehicles, and what we absolutely will and won’t spend money on when we’re broke.

Cringe, cackles, and capitalism—it’s all here. No cap. (…Did we use that right?)