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🎵 “Dunk the Don (Closet Ranger Fan)” 🎵

There’s a man we all know, sits high in the stand,
His Aberdeen Season ticket in hand,
Grumpy on Monday, still moody by Fri,
But mention Sean Dyche and you’ll see his eyes fly!

🎶 Ohhh Dunk the Don!
(He’s a season ticket holder!)
Ohhh Dunk the Don!
(Still a moody bugger!)
Ohhh Dunk the Don!
(He’ll deny it if he can!)
But deep down inside…
He’s a closet Rangers fan! 🎶

He’ll say “I agree wi’ Mass” when he’s on the mic,
Sees both sides o’ every football fight,
Watches every game — religiously, man,
But we all ken fine, he’s a sneaky Rangers fan!

🎶 Ohhh Dunk the Don!
(He’s a season ticket holder!)
Ohhh Dunk the Don!
(Still a moody bugger!)
Ohhh Dunk the Don!
(He loves Sean Dyche, the man!)
And did we mention aye —
He’s a season ticket holder at Aberdeen! 🎶

He moans aboot refs,
He moans aboot VAR,
He moans if the drive’s too far in the car!
But he’s pure class, nae need to pretend,
Just dinna mention Rangers or the weekend!

Had a blind date wi’ Desiree, ower at Jimmy Chung’s,
Buffet plate piled high — he fair filled his lungs,
She asked him aboot fitba, he said, “It’s complicated hen…”
Cos he’s Dons through and through —
(wi’ a wee Rangers pen!)

During the pod, aye, he sits there in peace,
Pretending to listen, but plays wi’ his piece,
Mass is rantin’, Mike’s losin’ the thread,
And Dunk’s jist sittin’ there, scratchin’ his head!

🎶 Ohhh Dunk the Don!
(He’s a season ticket holder!)
Ohhh Dunk the Don!
(Still a moody bugger!)
Ohhh Dunk the Don!
(He’ll cheer when Dychey ran!)
But aye, we ken it fine —
He’s a closet Rangers fan! 🎶

Mike: “Right, that’s enough aboot Dunk…”
Mass: “Aye… move on, Mike.”

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