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He rolls up the lane at a quarter to nine,
Flat cap tilted, feelin’ mighty fine,
A latte in hand, not your average brew,
Got a shine on his boots and a Barbour too.

Used to milk the herd when the dawn was grey,
Now he’s dealin’ calves in a classier way,
No muck on his chinos, no straw in his hair,
You’ll smell Chanel before you see him there!

🎶 Oh Slippers, the poshest farmer in town,
Driving ‘cross the yard with his window down,
Trading milk for calves, it’s a brand new start,
With a Range Rover rumble and a gentleman’s heart.
He’s Slippers — aye, he’s one of a kind,
Silk scarf farmer with a business mind! 🎶

He’s got a spreadsheet for every cow,
And he checks his stocks while feeding now,
He’ll FaceTime the vet, say “Old chap, hello!”
Then sip on his tea in a thermos of gold.

From Holsteins to Herefords, he knows the game,
But don’t you dare call him “common” by name,
He’ll tip his tweed hat and give you a grin,
Say “Country life’s best — but it’s luxury within.”

🎶 Oh Slippers, the poshest farmer in town,
Driving ‘cross the yard with his window down,
Trading milk for calves, it’s a brand new start,
With a Range Rover rumble and a gentleman’s heart.
He’s Slippers — aye, he’s one of a kind,
Silk scarf farmer with a business mind! 🎶

He’s got calves in the pen and cash in the bank,
Still thanks the Lord and his diesel tank,
From dawn ‘til dusk (well, nine ‘til five),
It’s posh and proper down on Slippers’ drive!

🎶 Oh Slippers, the poshest farmer in town,
Never lifts a fork but he gets it done somehow,
From milkin’ days to calf café,
He’s the high-class hero of the farming way!
He’s Slippers — aye, raise your glass,
To the farmer with class and a bit o’ sass! 🎶

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