HEY BABES AND BITCHES!

*Please note that this demented episode was produced and directed by the rabid squirrel that currently lives rent free in my attic*

This tall tale is what happens when Goldilocks becomes what so many influencers are becoming today, entitled, narcissistic and completely boring. Listen if you dare...to find out how a DREAM GIRL becomes a NIGHTMARE! Starring Leslie Ash as Goldilocks and directed by Jessica Dromgoole.

Watch this depiction of a manic pixie dream girl as played by Natalie Portman in "Garden State." Her character has a bit better boundaries that our girl, but it's debatable at this point!

And from Wiki, just what we mean by the "Goldilocks Zone!" Educate yourself plebians! (see? The squirrel is an ass!)

And here's an image from the front of a children's book, where Goldilocks looks like she's either A.) sitting on a wet mop, or B.) wants to eat your face.

Hasta la vista everyone!

AND PLEASE RATE AND REVIEW FOR THE LOVE OF NUTS!!