HEAR YE, HEAR YE, I HAVE AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT ABOUT THIS BON-BON EPISODE! (I don't really, just trying to get your attention!)

So, this is how this little sweet episode begins:

"There lived in Boston a wise and ancient chemist by the name of Dr. Daws, who dabbled somewhat in magic. There also lived in Boston a young lady by the name of Claribel Sudds, who was possessed of much money, little wit and an intense desire to go upon the stage.

So Claribel went to Dr. Daws and said:

"I can neither sing nor dance; I cannot recite verse nor play upon the piano; I am no acrobat nor leaper nor high kicker; yet I wish to go upon the stage. What shall I do?"

"Are you willing to pay for such accomplishments?" asked the wise chemist.

"Certainly," answered Claribel, jingling her purse.

"Then come to me to-morrow at two o'clock," said he."

I MEAN, WHAT COULD GO WRONG? Partially a story about not leaving your packages unattended, partially a story about greed and ego, and partially about how chocolate can be the unwitting accomplice in making your life a living hell, this episode is sure to satisfy that sweet tooth of yours!

In the public domain and gleaned from the delicious archives of InternetArchive.Org, enjoy at your own risk!

Be sure to check out this delightful song from the album "Soul Food" by Bobby Timmons, released by Prestige in 1966. To read a little bit more about this groundbreaking jazz artist, read his Wiki!

Soul Food, the album includes such songs as "Source Meat" and "Turkey Wings" and is a gorgeous album about all things food. Click here to listen!

For a recipe for baked turkey wings, look no further, cause Grandbaby Cakes has got you covered! Baked Turkey Wings

And if you want to read a newspaper article reviewing all of the delectable Minnesota State Fair foods, including something called the Sweet Squeaker, which is White cheddar cheese curds coated in a funnel cake batter, deep-fried, and topped with a scoop of fresh lemon whipped cream click here! 

Dear God.

YES, EVERYONE, WE ARE ACTUALLY ALL JUST TUBES!

Welcome to Episode Six you all, where we discuss fairy tale food, starvation and how food can change the plot...whether it is forbidden or just too much, whether it has a curse on it, or is full of gluten, so many of the food items in fairy tales are there to move the plot...and Tantri and I welcomed the gustatory feast of this conversation, because it turned out delicious!

To hear another's idea of why we are all just tubes, click here for John Green's Insta and his feelings on it!

Did you know that there is a Brother's Grimm cookbook, by author Robert Tuesley Anderson, where you can learn to make all sorts of fairy tale dishes? From Spider's Web Pancakes (eewww, sticky!) to Potted Cheese, you're sure to find all your favorites here in this little tome! Now get to cooking!

And from Sesame Street this little gem: Fairy Tales Today: A Food Strike!

Here is what happens when men feel left out and then ask all their famous buddies for recipes for a cookbook...and it includes SO MUCH MEAT that you probably will not be able to button your pants after you're done reading it.

All these recordings are courtesy of Internet Archive.org

Here's what happens when dinner fights back!

Here's a sweet and interesting cookbook called "Bull Cook and Authentic Historical Recipes and Practices", by George Leonard Herter and Berthe E. Herter. George tells the reader, "I am putting down some of these recipes that you will not find in cook books plus many other historical recipes. Each recipe here is a real cooking secret. I am also publishing for the first time authentic historical recipes of great importance." So fasten your seatbelts foodies, and check it out here! And guess what? Horror of horrors, he starts out with MEAT!!

EXCUSE ME WHILE I FAINT IN THE CORNER.

P.S. He better not have cooked our squirrel.

This funny episode, courtesy of LibraVox, is all about how to keep the perfect kitchen. It is dated, it is silly, but most of all, it's exhausting! Check it out if you have the patience! ;-)

Please check out other fab recordings here, at Internet Archive.org

Let your heart feast on these epic kitchen fails, which are so ugly they defy description...seriously, you might barf looking at these! Clearly, they should have read the book!

Here is a FAB article on kitchen gadgets THAT NO LONGER EXIST. (THEY WERE ALL PULLED INTO THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE!)

And here, so you can judge the HELL out of your friends and neighbors, the STUPIDEST KITCHEN IMPLEMENTS EVER!

This bonus episode is meant to introduce you to the sneaky historical fact that at one time cookbooks were invented that only worked WITH A SPECIFIC INGREDIENT. What form of sorcery is this, you ask? I respond maniacally, "Capitalism!!" And while Carnation Milk is not the devil per se, it doesn't exactly scream "Healthy!!"

Listen in as this wonderful woman sneaks in the need for Carnation Milk at the very end!

Here is an explanation of just what the heck Carnation Milk is!

Here is an example of a hungry puppy who drank the milk STRAIGHT FROM THE CAN! GADZOOKS! But, Dr. Elaine provides an answer to the worried pet owner, just in the nick of time!

And finally, bless her heart, a raunchy jingle about Carnation Milk by a precious grandma. Cannot wait till I get that age so I can raunch my life away!

Ain't no thing but a chicken wing! OR, if you're in Baba Yaga's house, it might be an arm bone, which is connected to the wrist bone, yada, yada, yaga. You never can tell with these ancient Forest Witches. And if they have a house made of gingerbread (which is not gluten free, how rude!) you're pretty much set up for failure!

We talk Hansel & Gretel, we talk disappearing shrimp, (or not in my case, I think pretty much everything that comes from the ocean is ONE GIGANTIC SEA SPIDER! Except for octopi and squid who I really just want to be my best friends). We talk fantasy feasts, (Hello Hogwarts!) cannibalism and all sorts of devilish may care subjects around food (including deviled eggs, which are delish!)

To read up on Hansel & Gretel and just where that tale might have come from, click right here!

To find out what diabolical magic was used to create the feasts in Harry Potter, click here!

For a recipe for sourdough bread, in case you get lost in the woods, click here!

And in case you care, here is a link to "Just Who Is Baba Yaga?" Friend or Foe? Baked or Fried?  Personally, I think she bakes everything, cause a witch DOES NOT have time to heat that giant cauldron of oil up, because the HANGER is just too real.

Narrated by Vincent Price, this little gem is our third offering around the Bluebeard Folk Tale! While this tale might seem a little out of bounds as to the famous Bluebeard Tale, it is a sweet one when it comes to revenge.

A little history on the saying "revenge is a dish best served cold!" And the revenge in this story is frigid, bitches!

And a bit about our narrator and all around bad-ass, Vincent Price! Do a deeper dive, you'll be glad you did!

Apparently the White Dove in this tale missed the message that it was supposed to be all this, and instead came back angry, filled with rage, and ready to rumble. What I wouldn't give to have witnessed this cage match!

(I THINK WE FOUND THE SQUIRREL! BECAUSE PRETTY SURE IT'S IN BED WITH BLUEBEARD...^^^ SEE IMAGE ABOVE)

Anyhoo...this is a delightful reading of a classic Bluebeard tale lovingly transmitted orally by some random woman. Courtesy of LibraVox, all of our curated bonus episodes are found here: https://archive.org/ Be sure to check out this vast and treasure-filled chest of goodies!

Here are six reasons to love squirrels!

And here is a Manifesto on why squirrels are FROM HELL!

And here is a sonnet about Bluebeard by Sylvia Plath:

Bluebeard

I am sending back the key

that let me into bluebeard's study;

because he would make love to me

I am sending back the key;

in his eye's darkroom I can see

my X-rayed heart, dissected body :

I am sending back the key

that let me into bluebeard's study.

Hasta la vista Beasts!

Listen to this oldie but goodie from the 1930's courtesy of LibraVox. Ah, the good old days, a time of halcyon goodness and shiny everyone's-life-was-perfect-then...>>> FALSE, FAKE LIES! (why people think that living in the past when no one had toilet paper and actually toilets or microwaves or phonographs is beyond me!)

Buy anyway, do check out this sweet recording, Bluebeard in verse! All of our arcane and delightful Bonus episodes are found here: https://archive.org/ Check it out!

Described as existing as "horror and pizzazz" Bluebeard the musical has clearly struck a chord! (again, how clever am I?) Check out a review from "The Guardian" here!

And from "Medium" this article: "Nostalgia is a Liar, So Keep Moving Forward!"

And in case you need help with YOUR closet space, here is an essential article to calm your soul!