Sit back and listen to this curated Goldilocks episode-straight from my record to yours! But really, you can find gems like this at https://archive.org/. It just takes a little sleuthing (and listening) to find ancient gems like this!

For a history on the "Most Wanted" or "Wanted, Dead or Alive" posters, click here!

For a recipe for that oh-so-perfect porridge that Goldilocks got sent to the slammer for, click here!

While we here at Beast do not advocate for frontier justice, I did really want G to go to jail, and rot there permanently. For an idea of what frontier justice is, click here!

See you Beasts so very soon!

Yes, friends, the story you've heard about Goldilocks (that simpering, sweet and oh so destructive imp) is ALL WRONG! The real story is...well, you've gotta listen to actually GET IT! (we're not gonna give up our secrets that easily! Unlike the avocados I found at the bottom of a bag in my pantry which had been mouldering there forever and were practically walking across the floor although the bag did slow them down! I gave those up pretty immediately!)

We're familiar with the old tale, one of a wayward lass who stumbles upon a supposedly empty cottage, but is it really? When she finds a clean house and hot porridge you think she would be on her merry, but NO, she enters, bitches about everything and then, falls asleep in a bed. What an absolute knob! But we discuss that, and so much more, including my desire for frontier justice, in this episode!

To read up about Goldilocks and her various iterations click on the links below:

Robert Southey's "Our Landlady Sucks" version, courtesy of Anna at 11:27 PM!

And courtesy of "The Guardian" here is a bit more information about the BEEF between Lord Byron and Southey!

And just for funsies, a great shot of Matthew Goode, who is goode enuf for me!

And here's an even more delightfully decanted version of the evolution of this familiar tale from "Mental Floss."

PLEASE CONSIDER RATING AND REVIEWING AS WE ARE DESPERATE FOR BOTH IN GENERAL.

And please do take care to avoid the flying squirrel. Mmmm, thanks!

Welcome to THE BEAST BENEATH THE BED ~ an odd and delirious confection brought to you by THIS MORTAL COIL PRODUCTIONS. 

Join hosts Tantri & Kirsten as they discuss folktales, fairy tales & everything in between (John Wayne Gacy anyone? *crickets* Bueller? Bueller?) Consisting of found audio, esoteric confabs and a lost squirrel that the hosts cannot quite rid themselves of...this weirdly demented pod will somehow, despite all evidence to the contrary, put a float in your boat, a pep in your step and finally, warm that frigid and unhinged heart of yours!