Have you ever paid thousands of dollars for coaching… only to be met with microaggressions that leave you questioning yourself?

In this episode we are pull back the curtain on the retreat that brought us together and sparked this entire podcast. From a late-night “we’re not crazy” conversation, to a car-ride comment about “dancing like a white person,” to the painful realization that silence doesn’t mean safety, this story sets the tone for everything to come.

Microaggressions may be “micro” in delivery, but their impact isn’t. We are not here to drag, but to name what’s broken, share what healing can look like, and imagine coaching spaces where Black women don’t have to shrink to belong.

In this episode:

• What microaggressions are and how they show up in the online coaching space
• The three types you’ll hear most in coaching: microassaults, microinsults, microinvalidations, how they sound and how they feel
• Our origin story: the “celebratory” retreat, the car-ride comment, and the moment everything clicked
• Intent vs. impact: why “I didn’t mean it like that” isn’t repair—and what is
• Allyship in practice: curiosity scripts that de-escalate (“What made you say that?”) and open the door to learning
• Safer containers: community over isolation, clear policies, visible repair, and why it’s a red flag if clients are discouraged from talking
• Exiting with integrity: revoking testimonials/likeness, canceling misaligned contracts, and protecting your peace

Heart Check

For Black women:

• When’s the last time you felt dismissed in a space that called itself “safe”?
• What do you wish you’d said or done—and what’s one step you’ll take now (conversation, boundary, or exit)?

For white coaches:

• When did you last hear something “off” and choose not to lean in? Why?
• What will repair look like next time (pause, ask, apologize, adjust policy)? What can you change today to make your container safer?

Keep the Conversation Going

Share your reflections and stories with us on Instagram, we want to hear from you. https://www.instagram.com/threeblackwomenpod

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