Three Black Women and Their White Coach

Some of the biggest lessons we carry into adulthood weren't learned in classrooms or from books. They came from the people who raised us.

A grandmother telling you, "Everything that glitters ain't gold." A parent reminding you to "fix your face." An auntie asking you to "make it make sense."

They're phrases many of us heard growing up, but they were never just expressions. They were lessons about discernment, accountability, communication, and survival that were passed down from one generation to the next.

In this episode of Three Black Women and Their White Coach, we're unpacking some of the Black sayings that shaped us and exploring the history, wisdom, and lived experience behind them. We also talk about why understanding the context behind these phrases matters, especially in coaching spaces where culture is often heard but not fully understood.

In This Episode:

• Why Black sayings are more than slang and how they became cultural wisdom

• The history of oral storytelling and passing down lessons through conversation

• The deeper meaning behind "Make it make sense"

• What "Fix your face" is really communicating

• Why "A hard head makes a soft behind" is rooted in love, not punishment

• The life lesson hidden inside "Everything that glitters ain't gold"

• What "Watch your tone" actually teaches about communication and relationships

• How these sayings helped build community, accountability, and survival across generations

• Why understanding the context behind cultural phrases creates more inclusive coaching spaces

• How quick wisdom can carry lessons that last a lifetime’

This Week's Heart Check:

• What saying shaped how you think, react, or move through the world today?

• Which lessons still serve you, and which ones are you ready to let go of?

• When do you rely on quick wisdom instead of seeking deeper understanding?

• What's one phrase you've carried that deserves to be redefined?

• Have you ever repeated a cultural saying without understanding where it came from or what it truly meant?

Time Stamps:

00:58 Why Black Sayings Matter Beyond the Humor

02:03 The Culture, History, and Wisdom Behind These Phrases

03:10 What Black Sayings Actually Are

04:09 Why Understanding Context Creates Better Coaching Spaces

04:40 "Make It Make Sense" and the Power of Accountability

08:32 "Fix Your Face" and What Nonverbal Communication Says

15:00 "A Hard Head Makes a Soft Behind"

19:05 "Everything That Glitters Ain't Gold"

22:06 Discernment in Coaching, Business, and Life

28:30 "Watch Your Tone" and Communicating with Care

33:08 Passion vs. Disrespect: Understanding the Difference

36:06 The Historical Roots of Black Sayings

37:42 Heart Check + Final Reflections

Keep the Conversation Going

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Language has always been about more than words.

For Black people, the way we speak is often used as a shortcut for judging our intelligence, professionalism, credibility, and even our worth before we've had the chance to say anything meaningful at all.

In this episode of Three Black Women and Their White Coach, we're unpacking Ebonics, also known as African American Vernacular English (AAVE), and challenging the idea that there is only one "correct" way to communicate.

Because AAVE isn't broken English. It isn't laziness. And it isn't a lack of education.

It's a legitimate dialect with its own rules, history, and cultural significance.

Together, we explore how language bias shows up in coaching spaces, professional environments, classrooms, and everyday interactions, while examining the assumptions we make about people based solely on how they speak.

• What Ebonics (AAVE) actually is and why linguists recognize it as a legitimate dialect

• The historical roots of AAVE and how it developed through generations of Black culture and resilience

• The Oakland Ebonics Resolution and why it sparked national controversy

• How language becomes tied to perceptions of intelligence, professionalism, and credibility

• The difference between dialect, slang, and "broken English"

• Common examples of AAVE and the grammatical rules behind them

• Why listening for understanding matters more than listening for correction

• How language policing creates barriers in coaching and professional spaces

• The connection between authenticity, code switching, and belonging

• Why respecting cultural language is part of creating truly inclusive environments

For Everyone:

• What assumptions have you made about someone's intelligence based on how they speak?

• When do you feel the need to adjust how you speak to be taken seriously?

• Have you ever corrected someone's language without understanding its cultural context?

• Where have you equated "professional" with sounding a certain way?

• What beliefs about language are worth examining more closely?

00:01 Why We're Talking About Ebonics and Language Bias

01:27 What AAVE Actually Is (And What It Isn't)

03:27 Historical Roots of Ebonics and the Oakland Resolution

05:16 How Language Shapes Professional Perception

07:02 Who Decides What's "Correct" English?

09:44 The Problem with Equating Language and Intelligence

11:11 Listening to Understand Instead of Listening to Correct

14:11 Understanding the Habitual "Be"

16:06 Cultural Context, Meaning, and Misinterpretation

19:09 Why Coaches Need to Pause Before Making Assumptions

20:58 Double Negatives and Emphasis in AAVE

22:18 The Meaning Behind "Been"

24:03 Black Sayings, Boundaries, and Cultural Communication

26:29 Creating More Inclusive Coaching Spaces

27:07 Reclaiming Language as Part of Black Identity

28:39 Authenticity, Marketing, and Showing Up As Yourself

30:09 Why Different Doesn't Mean Wrong

31:11 Heart Check + Final Reflections

What assumptions have you been taught to make about language?

Share your thoughts with us on Instagram. We want to hear what came up for you while listening.

If this episode resonated, leave a 5-star review so more women, coaches, and leaders can join these conversations.

Tag a friend, colleague, or coach who needs to hear this one.

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In This Episode:This Week's Heart Check:Time Stamps:Keep the Conversation Going

Black women are carrying weight in coaching spaces that was never theirs to lift, and today, we’re finally naming it.

Black women aren’t just showing up to coaching spaces to learn. Too often, we’re asked (directly or indirectly) to educate, soothe, translate, and “keep the peace.”

In this episode of Three Black Women and Their White Coach, hosts Catryce Sutson and Breanna LaShell unpack the invisible, unpaid, and unspoken emotional labor Black women are expected to shoulder in the coaching industry.

Catryce (your mixed-race internet bestie + serial entrepreneur) and Breanna (your biracial nonprofit coach for impact-driven leaders) break down how emotional labor shows up in masterminds, group programs, and community spaces, especially when you’re the only Black woman in the room.

In this episode:

A clear definition of emotional labor—and how it lands uniquely on Black women in coaching spaces

The hidden costs: burnout, nervous system dysregulation, therapy bills, and reputational risk

What true allyship from white coaches can look like: paying Black women for their expertise, not centering guilt, and holding the space you’re actually being paid to hold

Heart Check:

For Black Women:

Where have you been holding emotional space that no one asked you to hold?

And what would it look like to gently put that weight down?

For White Coaches:

Where are your Black counterparts showing up in ways you aren’t and what would it mean to create a space where they don’t have to?

And what boundaries or structures would create true safety for everyone involved?

Keep the Conversation Going

Share your reflections and stories with us on Instagram, we want to hear from you. https://www.instagram.com/threeblackwomenpod

If this episode resonated, leave a 5 star review so more women (and coaches) can find these conversations.

Tag a friend, a client, or a coach who needs to hear this one.

What changes when we stop treating Black women’s hair like a trend and start honoring it as identity?

In this deeply personal, often politicized conversation, we unpack Black hair in life and in the coaching industry—from the “petting-zoo effect” and microaggressions to workplace “professionalism,” branding shoots, and who gets to call what “distracting.” We name the history (from enslavement to the natural hair movement and the CROWN Act), share stories of unwanted touching and respectless curiosity, and celebrate hair joy, self-expression, and reclaiming our crowns—without apology. This episode is not about shame; it’s about correction, care, and liberation.

In this episode:

• The history and politics of Black hair—and why Eurocentric “professionalism” was never neutral
• The “petting-zoo effect”: when curiosity turns into dehumanization
• How microaggressions around hair show up in the coaching and corporate space
• Why “put-together” looks different for Black women—and deserves to be respected as such
• Guidance for non-Black coaches on affirming clients without causing harm
• The line between appreciation and appropriation when it comes to protective styles
• How affirmation during branding shoots can empower clients to show up fully
• The importance of boundaries, consent, and self-definition in how we wear our crowns
• The CROWN Act as progress—and why cultural change still matters beyond policy

 Heart Check:

For Black women: Where have you policed your own hair to feel “safe” in white spaces? What would showing up whole look like, starting with your crown?

For White Coaches: What comments or “jokes” have you made about Black women’s hair? Who can you apologize to and how will you show up differently next time?

Keep the Conversation Going

Share your reflections and stories with us on Instagram, we want to hear from you. https://www.instagram.com/threeblackwomenpod

If this episode resonated, leave a 5 star review so more women (and coaches) can find these conversations.

Tag a friend, a client, or a coach who needs to hear this one.

Today we unpack “the tokenized Black girl” in the coaching industry, the hyper-visible, under-supported Black woman who’s praised in public but dismissed in private. We define tokenism (symbolic inclusion for optics), trace its roots and modern tropes, and get honest about how it shows up in branding, hiring, speaker lineups, and client features. We talk about the emotional toll, self-monitoring, isolation, gaslighting, and what true equity looks like: power-sharing, pay parity, policy, and sustained inclusion.

What we cover

• What tokenism is (and isn’t): representation vs. performance
• Historical context & modern tropes (the “strong Black woman,” “palatable” beauty standards)
• Red flags: the single Black face in year-round marketing, diversity-month invites only, citing values without policy, expecting education + politeness, public support without private defense
• How tokenism harms: isolation, self-doubt, pressure to speak for “everyone,” diminished authority
• From quota to collaboration: sharing power, paying equally, inviting voices to shape—not just show—your spaces

Heart Check

For Black women

Where am I choosing visibility over having a voice?

Have I been placed in a space to be seen, not to lead? How did that feel, and what boundaries will I set next time?

What do I need to ask before entering a room (Who else is at the table? Has this coach worked with Black women before?)

Where can I say no, rest, or build my own table?

For White coaches

Where might I be unintentionally tokenizing (speaker lineups, marketing, “one Black client” thinking, diversity-month invites)?

How will I share power (roles, decision-making, budgets), pay equitably, and institute policies—not just posts?

How will I support Black women privately when they’re not in the room?

Keep the Conversation Going

Share your reflections and stories with us on Instagram, we want to hear from you. https://www.instagram.com/threeblackwomenpod

If this episode resonated, leave a 5 star review so more women (and coaches) can find these conversations.

Tag a friend, a client, or a coach who needs to hear this one.

Mentorship isn’t about advice, it’s about being seen. In a coaching industry that often celebrates representation without real inclusion, we’re asking the deeper question: What does true mentorship for Black women look like?

In this episode, we shift from calling out harm to calling in vision. We unpack the real meaning of mentorship for Black women in coaching: what’s missing, what’s working, and how to build something better. From the difference between mentorship, coaching, and sponsorship to the challenges of being “the only one in the room,” we share honest stories about what support should feel like.

You’ll hear candid reflections on tokenism, access, cultural awareness, and integrity in leadership — plus actionable ways both Black women and white coaches can create safer, more intentional spaces for growth.

This isn’t just a conversation about what’s broken. It’s a vision for what’s next.

In this episode:

• Mentorship vs. Coaching vs. Sponsorship vs. Consulting — and Why They’re Not the Same
• What True Mentorship Is (and What It’s Not)
• The Emotional Cost of Being “the Only” Black Woman in the Room
• Why So Many Black Women Still Feel They Have to Shrink or Prove Themselves
• How White Coaches Can Use Privilege Without Causing Harm
• Why Referring Out Is Integrity, Not Losing a Sale
• Why All Money Isn’t Good Money

Heart Check for Black Women and White Coaches: 

Where have you wished for mentorship and what would it look like to create it for someone else? 

What would it look like for you to be the mentor that you need and for you to be?

Are you open to mentorship from someone who doesn't look like you?

What kind of mentor do you need to become for others?

Keep the Conversation Going

Share your reflections and stories with us on Instagram, we want to hear from you. https://www.instagram.com/threeblackwomenpod

If this episode resonated, leave a 5 star review so more women (and coaches) can find these conversations.

Tag a friend, a client, or a coach who needs to hear this one.

Two words get tossed around a lot: allyship and accountability, but what happens when they’re more caption than practice? Today we unpack the gap between intention and impact in the coaching industry—and what real repair looks like.

Catryce Sutson and Breanna LaShell dig into how allyship shows up, or doesn’t, across coaching, events, and online spaces. We talk history, lived experiences, and why “I read the book” is not the finish line. This isn’t about shame. It’s about growth, nuance, and staying in the room when it’s uncomfortable.

In this episode:

• What real allyship actually looks like in the online coaching space
• What real accountability means for coaches and creators
• From performative to practiced: beyond black squares, buzzwords, and “good branding”
• Real stories of allyship in action — and moments that missed the mark
• The hidden power dynamics in marketing: who’s centered on your panels, lineups, and feeds
• Being “trauma-informed” doesn’t make you untouchable: credentials don’t replace accountability
• Shifting from reactive to proactive: turning “I’ll do better” into real change through policy, hiring, and culture

Heart Check

For Black women and women of color:

• Where are you shrinking for access? What would full-self participation look like?
• Do your current rooms feel safe enough for honest feedback? If not, what boundary or new room is needed?

For white coaches and creators:

• Where are you expecting grace without showing growth?
• If inclusion is a value, where is it visible on your team, stage, pricing, and policies?
• What will you change this month, such as one hire, one policy, one lineup, or one vendor list, to reflect your values?

Keep the Conversation Going

Share your reflections and stories with us on Instagram, we want to hear from you. https://www.instagram.com/threeblackwomenpod

If this episode resonated, leave a 5 star review so more women (and coaches) can find these conversations.

Tag a friend, a client, or a coach who needs to hear this one.

White saviorism shows up in coaching more than many realize, often with good intentions that still do harm.

In this conversation, we define the pattern, explore how it strips power from Black women and other people of color, and offer concrete shifts for coaches who want to lead with accountability, boundaries, and actual allyship.

This isn’t about shame, it’s about awareness, consent, and support that centers the client, not the coach.

In this episode: 

• What white saviorism is (and isn’t) and how it shows up in coaching spaces
• Red flags: tokenizing “diversity,” centering yourself in a client’s healing, over-explaining, assuming proximity to whiteness = success
• Boundaries vs. overreach: staying in your lane as a coach (not therapist, not founder, not fixer)
• Ethical storytelling: why using clients’ trauma for marketing is extractive—and what to do instead
• Inclusive by design: the difference between performative inclusion and intentional, accessible programs
• Real allyship: moving from “I have the answers” to “I facilitate ownership and choice”

Heart Check:

For Black women:

• Where are you centering someone else in your story?
• What boundaries would help you feel more supported, not saved?
• How can you lovingly redirect when a coach oversteps or assumes?

For white coaches:

• Where are you centering yourself in someone else’s story?
• What would it look like to support without ego, without strings attached, and without needing to be the hero?
• Are you listening more than you’re leading?

Keep the Conversation Going

Share your reflections and stories with us on Instagram, we want to hear from you. https://www.instagram.com/threeblackwomenpod

If this episode resonated, leave a 5 star review so more women (and coaches) can find these conversations.

Tag a friend, a client, or a coach who needs to hear this one.

Have you ever paid thousands of dollars for coaching… only to be met with microaggressions that leave you questioning yourself?

In this episode we are pull back the curtain on the retreat that brought us together and sparked this entire podcast. From a late-night “we’re not crazy” conversation, to a car-ride comment about “dancing like a white person,” to the painful realization that silence doesn’t mean safety, this story sets the tone for everything to come.

Microaggressions may be “micro” in delivery, but their impact isn’t. We are not here to drag, but to name what’s broken, share what healing can look like, and imagine coaching spaces where Black women don’t have to shrink to belong.

In this episode:

• What microaggressions are and how they show up in the online coaching space
• The three types you’ll hear most in coaching: microassaults, microinsults, microinvalidations, how they sound and how they feel
• Our origin story: the “celebratory” retreat, the car-ride comment, and the moment everything clicked
• Intent vs. impact: why “I didn’t mean it like that” isn’t repair—and what is
• Allyship in practice: curiosity scripts that de-escalate (“What made you say that?”) and open the door to learning
• Safer containers: community over isolation, clear policies, visible repair, and why it’s a red flag if clients are discouraged from talking
• Exiting with integrity: revoking testimonials/likeness, canceling misaligned contracts, and protecting your peace

Heart Check

For Black women:

• When’s the last time you felt dismissed in a space that called itself “safe”?
• What do you wish you’d said or done—and what’s one step you’ll take now (conversation, boundary, or exit)?

For white coaches:

• When did you last hear something “off” and choose not to lean in? Why?
• What will repair look like next time (pause, ask, apologize, adjust policy)? What can you change today to make your container safer?

Keep the Conversation Going

Share your reflections and stories with us on Instagram, we want to hear from you. https://www.instagram.com/threeblackwomenpod

If this episode resonated, leave a 5 star review so more women (and coaches) can find these conversations.

Tag a friend, a client, or a coach who needs to hear this one.

If you’re a Black woman in the coaching world, you’ve probably done i, maybe without even realizing it at first.

You changing your tone so you don’t get labeled “aggressive.”

You are choosing words that feel “more professional.”

Tucking away parts of yourself to make others comfortable.

That’s code switching... and in white-dominated coaching spaces, it often happens so automatically, it feels like survival.

In this episode of Three Black Women and Their White Coach, we are getting real about the unseen, exhausting ways Black women are asked (directly or indirectly) to adapt in order to belong.

In this episode:

• How code switching shows up without you even realizing it
• The quiet ways this stereotype shapes interactions in masterminds, group programs, and 1:1 coaching
• The unspoken “rules” baked into coaching spaces
• The toll it takes on authenticity, safety, and mental energy
• Why coaching often isn’t designed with Black women in mind
• How white coaches can create spaces where no one feels they have to edit themselves

This week's Heart Check:

For Black Women:

notice the moments you subconsciously code switch and how it feels in your body. Is it protection? Habit? Exhaustion?

For White Coaches:

Ask: Am I creating an environment where Black women feel they can show up fully, without having to adapt who they are?

Time Stamps:

01:06 What Code Switching Really Means in Coaching Spaces

02:21 The Two Main Types of Code Switching You Might Be Doing Without Realizing

03:54 Our Personal Stories of Adapting to Fit In

08:24 Navigating Identity and Belonging as Biracial Women in White-Dominated Spaces

13:10 Why Authenticity Feels Risky for Black Women in Coaching

31:50 How Your Online Presence (Especially Video) Impacts Identity

36:16 Hair, Professionalism, and the Pressure to Look “Acceptable”

39:34 The Armor We Wear: Breanna’s Pencil Skirt at 16

41:21 Unlearning Who We Were Told to Be and Rebuilding Identity

44:54 How to Spot When You’re Code Switching

48:20 The Ongoing Journey of Self-Discovery

58:51 What a Truly Safe Space for Authenticity Looks Like

1:06:48 Heart Check + Final Thoughts

Subscribe now and join us as we build spaces where Black women can show up fully, without shrinking themselves to fit in.

Connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/threeblackwomenpod