Hey, don't shoot the messenger. If you were planning on rekindling a relationship while watching the new Wuthering Heights movie, I want you to think about racism and double coffins. They're mutually exclusive for Wuthering Heights.

And in this corner, she's The Poorest, The Most Obscure, The Plainest, and The Littlest, coming in at probably like 80 Victorian pounds and a backbone of steel - GIVE IT UP FOR JANE EYRE

I have a hot (mean and everyones thinking it so, call it tepid) take on the new movie, a fair (I think so) take on the old novel, a valid (think about it) take the Brontë sibings existing in 2000's mall culture, a BANGIN' alternative soundtrack for WH, a bunch of ads written by my dog Alph who half hates me and half loves me - bit of a Heathcliff if u ask me.

Wuthering Heights - Emily Brontë

Jane Eyre - Charlotte Brontë