Hiii I forgot to read anything for this week's episode! How? Was I abducted? Maybe! 

So this episode is all random romance book recommendations. They really were randomly picked, but I did heavily screen them because my mom listens to this show. Supportive parents are a blessing 🙏

Anyway, I'll let you figure out what the books are. I'm tired.

Thanks to our sponsors: Fake Prison Boyfriend, Divorced Woman Algorithm, and Worcester's Worst Drives is back!

I forgot to warn for spoilers for the main book, just FYI.

Sometimes you take a long, hard look at your life and realize you're being too nice, at least in the past two weeks. Probably because you're too tired from allergies and living a life of lower middle-class luxury, aka you've been nodding off on your most expensive piece of furniture, which to most people would be mid-priced.

Anyway, nothing awakens my consciousness like being an asshole, so this week's book is a rager, excuse me, I misspoke, I meant it's rage bait. Well, rage bait with two recs for two excellent non-rage bait books, both sci-fi too.

Beautiful perfect recommendations 

Bay's Mercenary - C.L. Scholey 

Good Deeds - Kathryn Moon 

Horrible rage bait book 

The Greek's Forgotten Wife - Elizabeth Lennox 

Did you not realize that by me making 10 episodes of this show, I fulfilled the prophecy foretold at the advent of my birth? Yeah, I finally get the two gay boyfriends I always wanted, and a Sea-Doo. My prophecy was sponsored by a personal watercraft and pontoon boat lobbyist. I just hope my next prophecy is sponsored by BMX I need a bike with front AND back pegs for my two platonic gay boyfriends. Something nice too, my guys and I expect a certain level of add-ons, like a Hello Kitty basket for my pills, and streamers for the handlebars. A pink license plate that says "Hot Cheese" in rhinestones wouldn't go unappreciated either. 

Divorce Books 4 2day

The Other Woman - Jordan Silver

Complicated - Kristen Ashley

I don't wanna dieeeeeeeee I just wanna ride my mo-tor-cy-cle, it's the G.I. Joe PSA one, not the Arlo Guthrie one.

Motorcycle Club Romance books with too much face touching and eye contact make me uncomfortable, but I'll be fine, I'm gonna power thru this, because I love these two books.

I'm pro-cat fight, pro-MC, pro-forehead botox, pro-goth code switching, anti-too much cheese, anti-hogging the dog shit patch.

Riggs - Crystal Daniels and Sandy Alvarez

Unwritten Rules - Jordan Marie

Am I in love with Gary, the landlord? Is Gary the landlord my dream man?There was A LOT of hissing and crying that had to get edited out of this episode. I permitted myself to be more totalitarian than usual in honor of reaching womanhood, aka turning 35.

It's MESSY GUT PUNCH ROMANCE BOOKS

I love emotional torture, hissing, and hate Grandpa Joe from Willy Wonka.

4 messy gut punch romance book recs and His Bittersweet Regret by Christine Michelle for this week's book report :)

HELLO, 911? HELP, I'VE BEEN TRICKED.

This episode's romance books all feature main characters I would hate to sit next to at a dinner party! They'd just keep saying euphemistic shit to me like "Wow, it's so great you don't care what anyone thinks about you, you're such a free spirit." 

You know what, I'm gonna sneak out the back door and I'm taking my French torte with me. 

Thank you to our sponsors: Canadian Panic Attack, Etsy Fabric Scraps for Shut-ins, B.I.T.C.H.H. Girl Goth Gay Gun Ownership, and a PSA about a concerned but unhelpful dog owner.

Have You Seen Her? By Karen Rose 

Maggie's Dad - Diana Palmer

Alph ate something mysterious, and I'm waiting to see if he barfs everywhere. Happy Spring and End of the First Mercury in Retrograde for 2026! 

I'm tired, chipper, might lose my job, and wearing a bald cap for my brother in arms, Stone Cold Steve Austin. 3:16 only comes once a year, but I'm keeping the spirit alive. 

This episode is all about rad Historical Romance Heroines 💅 and the doofus men who get their shit together enough to kiss them on the mouth with tongue.

Miss Lockharte's Letters - Barbara Metzger 

Unlocked - Courtney Milan 

The Rogue of Islay Isle - Heather McCollum

Listen, I'm tired. Someone tried to steal my puppets, I ASSUME. Why else would someone have tried to break into my apartment? Thou shalt not covet puppet neighbors or whatever.

This week is about two weird books (normal books) that make me feel weird, but I still like a lot. If that's not enough of an endorsement, I don't know what to tell you

Happy almost Stone Cold Steve Austin Day, and enjoy your stay at Gen's Maximum Security Prison of Devotion and Loyalty. Breakfast is served a lot later than you think.

The Tycoon's Pregnant Mistress - Maya Banks

Sean - Giulia Lagomarsino

SCI-FI ROMANCE 24/7 BABYYYY

BEAM ME UP BEFORE I FREAK OUT.

A Sinéad O'Connor speed boat hijacking meditation right over an incel and straight into space. A plea to read romance, the cashing in of some barely touched emotional manipulation, Pool Divorces, Stop at Stop Signs, Hot Bread from Outback.

C'mon, put on your hair shirt, it's Lent

Alien Tyrant - Ursa Dax

Strange Love - Ann Aguirre

Hey, don't shoot the messenger. If you were planning on rekindling a relationship while watching the new Wuthering Heights movie, I want you to think about racism and double coffins. They're mutually exclusive for Wuthering Heights.

And in this corner, she's The Poorest, The Most Obscure, The Plainest, and The Littlest, coming in at probably like 80 Victorian pounds and a backbone of steel - GIVE IT UP FOR JANE EYRE

I have a hot (mean and everyones thinking it so, call it tepid) take on the new movie, a fair (I think so) take on the old novel, a valid (think about it) take the Brontë sibings existing in 2000's mall culture, a BANGIN' alternative soundtrack for WH, a bunch of ads written by my dog Alph who half hates me and half loves me - bit of a Heathcliff if u ask me.

Wuthering Heights - Emily Brontë

Jane Eyre - Charlotte Brontë