Carol Banens: “Once you're in grief, and you've lost someone, you realize there's so much more that perhaps you could have done for them, listened to them, or asked of them. I'm a piano player. My dad was a surgeon and quite a good jazz pianist. He'd say, practice hymns and play chords, it will give you chord sequences. And of course, I never listened because he was my dad. After he'd gone, I ended up marrying a jazz pianist. That's when I realized, oh, my dad was right. If only I had done that. Did I learn from that? Not enough. 

I relished my husband, but not as much as I could. I think we can always do more. 

I didn't ask him to teach me a really groovy Happy Birthday. When you're at a birthday party and there’s a piano and people find out you can play piano they often say, "Can you play Happy Birthday?" And it's like, “No”. That's such a silly little thing. But it's one of those things I wonder about. That was Brian's skill. He was a musician. Why didn't I tap into that? Was it because I was always too busy? 

I was too busy to smell the roses. I was working and looking after my mom.

We don't know how long others will be with us or we with them. So, taking the time to appreciate who you have with you and why they're with you is important. If only we could hear that lesson before they are gone so that we can do it in advance.”

Have a listen as I interview my special guest, Carol Banens.