3 to 1 Principle

I want to share a principle that I learned years ago from a sports psychologist named Craig Manning that became very helpful to me. I actually learned this principle years before I put it into concrete action, and I will explain why.

I call this the 3-to-1 principle, and it is very simple. When you evaluate your performance, intentionally think of three things that you did well, believe them, and then think of one thing that you can try to improve.

That’s it. It’s very simple, yet it took me years to figure out a way to actually use this.

I learned this during a time where I was teaching music at a high school, and I thought the idea sounded great. I thought, “I should implement that and it would help my students gain confidence.”

In practice, however, I quickly turned to my habit of jumping right to the things that needed improvements. This practice sometimes corrects flaws, but it can be detrimental in developing confidence in the performers.

Believe it or not, my teaching career progressed and eventually I was teaching at BYU in the School of Music. While there, I got a wake up call from a brave student that shared her feedback with me through teacher evaluations. She said that she sometimes left her lessons feeling like she never did anything right.

I realized this student needed some positive encouragement, and I began to implement the 3-to-1 principle in all of my lessons with all my students. Because I am a moron, I had to force myself to remember by creating new weekly lesson sheets with specific places for me to fill in three things that went well and 1 thing to improve. The result was all of my students began to show more confidence throughout their lessons. This was a small and simple thing that brought about a major change in my students’ experiences.

So, here is a tip: avoid the mistake of just thinking, “Yeah, I will try that,” only to quickly forget it. Rather, get some paper, and start writing down some things that you are doing well in a 3-to-1 ratio to things you want to improve. It can also be used with how we see our kids or others.

Alma 37:6-7 says

6 Now ye may suppose that this is foolishness in me; but behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise.

7 And the Lord God doth work by means to bring about his great and eternal purposes; and by very small means the Lord doth confound the wise and bringeth about the salvation of many souls.

I invite you to think about this in the context of being or becoming an active member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, proceeding forward on the covenant path. What are three things you are currently doing well, and one thing that you would like to improve.