Dan recently celebrated a birthday, which he refers to as "the saddest day of the year." If you see a gaunt, haunted man staring blankly out a Brooklyn window in February, odds are that's Dan. Do us a favor Dan, and dial nine whine whine, 'cause that's the number for the waaaambulance, you know what I'm saying? I considered naming this episode "Dan Wakes Up Weeping."

If all that doesn't sound appealing, we also we compare nosebleed stories. Enjoy!

Music Credits:

“Many Happy Returns” by Guillaume Tucker

“Octopussy” by Juanitos

"Lost Children" by Post Human Era

"Cherry Dump Cake" by half cocked

"Dizzy ke Peeche" by Martinibomb

"Blood On Your Face" by OBN IIIs

"I Made Out by Love Story" In Blood Red