Have you heard the saying “this too shall pass”? There is this school of thought that if we surrender control it enlightens happiness and well-being. But does it really?  Let’s chat about it today. 

Transcript:

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2-ish minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I’ve been chewing on this phrase “this too shall pass” as I contemplate fulfilled happiness.  There is this school of thought that if we surrender control it enlightens happiness and well-being.  We need to “go with the flow” and It’s this idea that peace comes with knowing we give up control to a higher power and let it be. If we do this, we would worry less and thus, if we are not dwelling in the negative, we would be open to more positivity.  

This is also surrendering things like perfectionism.  Conceptually, I can see how relinquishing this stress over the things we cannot control to a higher power or just to “letting it be” sounds like a good idea.  But I am not convinced this brings you happiness. In contrast, I think it may bring you peace.  But that’s not happiness.  You can be peaceful and not be happy.  

The opposite of happiness is not sadness.  Happiness is not the absence of negative feelings, nor should it be.  I think, in a way, well-rounded happiness is the ability to rebound from hard things, negative emotions.  Happiness is not the same as joy or elatement.  Happiness includes but is not only peace and contentment and well-being.  I think happiness is the flexibility to experience all of the emotions.  Have a bad day and you can still be overall a happy person. The emotion of regret or sadness or disappointment does not amplify and take over your essence of happiness, it’s just an emotion.  And happiness is more than emotions. 

My biggest takeaway is that happiness is not constant and more importantly, it shouldn’t be.  

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