Ok, show of hands. How many of you have been finger-blasted on a rollercoaster? All of you. Just as we thought. You know who you have to thank for that, right? That's right, Mr. Smuggling Plums in boxer-briefs himself Marky Mark!

Some of you are too young to remember this, but before he was doing whatever he did in Transformers and whatever the FUCK he was doing in The Happening, good ole' Boston Mark was the homicidal boyfriend that kickstarted a million ovulations in Fear.

Wanna hear Machine Head by Bush a hundred time in 90 minutes? Buckle up, buttercup. We're doing the damn thing!

Artwork was once again done by the incredible Cal Gee. Go follow him on instagram. Also follow Matt on Twitch: @MattyDingDong

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