About Face

36. Suffering is Optional- Attachment Stories


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Today I want to talk about something I call “Attachment Stories,” and it’s the stories that attach themselves to events, issues, or traits about ourselves, our families, communities etc. Basically, it’s the accompanying stories that might crop up in a damaging way.

Many of you have probably heard this expression: “Pain inevitable, suffering is optional” an ancient Buddhist expression, made popular by Haruki Murakami. This quote is basically the premise of how to face attachment stories. That is to say that the human experience will inevitably involve pain: we will face hardship, loss, and eventually death, but the suffering that accompanies it will be of our own making. So, beyond the other Buddhist tenants of acceptance and impermanence, we can also look more practically at these attachment stories that really can exacerbate the suffering of our lives.

In this episode I share about my own experiences in the last month- a new lockdown, my daughter's brain surgery last month, getting served divorce papers, and losing my apartment. I share about how these experience triggered my old self narratives and how I was able to reconnect with other stories around love, connection, and self-empowerment. 

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About FaceBy Kate Marlene

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