As a single mom myself I've had to battle the negative stereotypes and stigmas around single motherhood and what happens after a marriage/parenting relationship breaks down. In this episode I am talking with Ruby Russell is a journalist, author, and single mom from London, also living in Berlin, and the author of Doing it All: The Social Power of Single Motherhood. Doing it All is a feminist exploration of single-motherhood, tracing a history through Victorian brothels, welfare rights activism and Black feminist traditions of othermothering. Ruby Russell tells a different story: of motherhood defined not by marriage or men, but as a nexus of solidarity beyond the patriarchal status quo.

A personal quest for empowerment, Doing It All is also a fierce critique of the structures that leave single mums marginalised and exhausted – and a call to reclaim mothering as the life force of sustainable, connected and radically responsible communities.  

In this episode we cover:

• Challenging dominant narratives about single-motherhood: “The archetypal single mother used to be the girl who didn’t hold out for a ring on her finger, or the deserted wife who couldn’t hold on to her man. But these days, most of us are women who detonated nuclear families we couldn’t tolerate.”
• The separation of romantic love and parenting, what happened to our relationships after birth, and what responsibilities fall to mothers, despite any efforts towards egalitarian models of care.
• The benefits of single motherhood and what ways we could improve communities and policies for single mothers: "Why should mothering without a man be so hard and how might we all do family better?”
• How 'mothering in capitalism is shit," the relationship between capitalism and the nuclear family and how advancements in feminism have still failed women and particularly mothers.
• “A woman’s fertility is more powerful than his virility” and the idea of reclaiming of fertility as woman’s power and how it has been eroded through patriarchy.
• How questioning our dependence on men allows more alternatives to the nuclear family and empowering our choices against patriarchy.
• The Legal system, which used to give no rights to women, has also stepped in trying to impose a 50/50 model on families, without considering the very different nature of mothering versus fathering. We talk about the “equalizing” imposition of the law and why it strips mothers of their natural rights.
• Abortion and feminism- how suppressing our fertility is different from asserting power and how to reimagine a feminism that includes motherhood.
• The Reproductive Justice Movement, and the intersectionality of single-motherhood, black feminism, welfare warriors, and sex workers. 

 

You can find Ruby Russell and her book online or at your local bookstore. 

Contact Kate Marlene

IG: @katemarleo

TikTok @katemarlene

email: [email protected]

Somewhere there is a mugshot of me after I got arrested at a house party in Seattle when I was 20. There is also a picture of me graduating law school a few years later. Both of these pictures tell a story, and both are true. But how do I make meaning from these stories and these truths? What do these stories tell me about myself and my life?

In this solo episode, I'm talking about how I have come to understand the power of storytelling, identity, and how we can use narrative in harnessing potential and creating our lives. 

In this episode I cover:

• How our stories about self define who we are and who we are becoming
• The difference between stories and beliefs
• How narrative helped me heal and improve my sense of self. 
• How stories shape our beliefs and potential
• How we can help our kids tell better stories about themselves
• How to improve the way we see ourselves and the narrative arc of our lives.

For more information about sessions, you can reach me at www.restoryatherapy.com

IG: katemarleo

[email protected]

Join my Patreon for extra content: www.patreon.com/katemarlene

"Just because someone is related, doesn't mean they love you," can be a difficult idea to accept, but recognizing that family relations don't always serve us can be empowering. 

Family estrangement is a taboo topic and those of us who have had to go no contact with famly members never make the decision lightly. Kate speaks with break-up coach and family estrangement expert, Janice Formichella about her own experience severing from the LDS church and the difficult decision to go no contact with toxic family members, including her parents. 

In addition to sharing their own stories of family estrangement, this episode also covers:

• Dealing with events, including weddings and funerals
• Light versions of no-contact
• Setting boundaries with family members
• Keeping a record or narrative of events 
• How family dynamics mirror our relationship with self
• Academic research and resources on family estrangement

 Kate Marlene

IG: @katemarleo

www.restoryatherapy.com

[email protected]

Janice Formichella

IG: JaniceFormichella

www.breakupspod.com

 

Music: Always on My Mind by Marbert Rocel

 

 

When it comes to texting- I am the worst! I have a history of sending break-up texts, having serious conflicts by text message, and trying to communicate my emotional reactions and needs by text message. 

The thing is- we don't get anywhere by dumping on others through text message. We lose nuance, accountability, and the opportunity for conflict resolution.

In this episode, I talk about my own history of being a bad communicator by text message, how I learned to (eeek!) call instead of text, and some thoughts on the relationship between text messaging, people pleasing, and conflict avoidance.

Texting can go wrong--and fast. Try to make it a practice to avoid serious conversations by text and you will improve your own anxiety around texting as well as your capacity to resolve conflict with your partner, friends, family, and colleagues. 

I started this podcast after my own 'rock bottom' story and recovery journey, really in effort to capture the essence of personal growth and transformation coming out of darkness. But, what if there is no rock bottom? 

What if you simply feel, or hear a voice deep down that tells you ... something isn't right?

'Rock bottom’ stories can be inspiring, they do not always capture the very normative experiences of burnout, feelings of disconnect, and a lack of purpose, particulary at mid-life. And, how do we define mid-life? Could it be, not a number, but rather a point in life to look back, reflect, and create transformation in our next phase?

In this episode, I interviewed author Ben Katt, about his new book, "The Way Home: Discovering the Hero's Journey to Wholeness at Midlife," which captures the personal  transformation of someone who “lost his heart” but not in the most cinematic rock bottom ways we are accustomed to encountering. As he intros his book, there are countless ways to lose your heart, and he offers a guide to find your heart, and your way home. 

Ben Katt is a meditation teacher and spiritual coach. He weaves personal experience, spiritual wisdom, and mythology, following the hero’s journey to inspire a path from isolation to belonging, securtity to surrender and conformity to wildness. 

Kate Marlene

IG: @katemarleo

www.restoryatherapy.com

 

Ben Katt 

IG: @akabenkatt

www.benjaminkatt.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

I wanted to share a difficulty that I have been struggling with the last month and how I was able to manage some hard, even shameful emotions that came up for me. When my kids' father got sick and ended up in the hospital for the last month I had to accept my new role as a single mom, without the help of a co-parent.

In this episode I discuss the stages of grief I went through, including some anger and resentment that I was not proud of. I also discuss the shift I was able to make from fear and anger towards service, an old recovery tool that helped give me perspective on my loss and how I can focus my attention on the needs of others. 

Email me at [email protected]

For more about my narrative work and to work with me: www.restoryatherapy.com

Art, exhibitions, and products: www.katemarlene.com

Facebook: Kate Marlene/Restorya
IG: @katemarleo

 

Love stories captivate all of us, but how do narratives of love influence how we date, make meaning, and tell our own stories? What do we look for in the love stories of our own lives and how do larger narratives about love influence how we pursue and experience romance?

In this episode, I interview Olivia de Recat, author, illustrator, and cartoonist for the New Yorker. Her book Drawn Together was named one of the best books of the Year by the New Yorker in 2022. This book was absolutely beautiful, truly hilarious, and a vulnerable look at romantic love stories in all shapes  It’s a collection of illustrated love stories, but also a kind of memoir that looks at Olivia’s relationship to love and relationships. I wanted to talk to her about her book, and how relationships are shaped by the love stories we know and tell.

Kate

IG @katemarleo

www.restoryatherapy.com

Find Olivia 

IG @drawingolive

www.oliviaderecat.com

 

 

Being sick can have a negative impact on our sense of self and mental well-being. Do you feel unproductive, unable to be a good parent, or isolated and lonely when you're sick? When we are ill, a myriad of stories, beliefs, and negative associations can surface. These stories can impact our sense of self and, in my case, even lead to questioning my ability to work or be a good parent, fostering self-doubt and blame.

To stop negative self-reflection during illness we must detach our identities and self-worth from the condition. It's about seeing the illness objectively, as something separate from who we are. Today, I want to share my story and offer insights that could provide support to anyone facing illness, whether it's a common cold, flu, or something more serious and chronic.

If you're interested in sessions with me you can book at www.restoryatherapy.com

Find me IG: @katerestorya

Facebook: Kate Marlene/Restorya Therapy

TikTok: KateMarlene

 

 

One of the greatest pains we will ever endure in life is heartache, either from a break-up, rejection, divorce, or the severance of a relationship. In this episode I talked with Janice Formicella, a break-up coach and host of the podcast, "Break-ups, Broken Hearts, and Moving On." We talked about recovery from our own divorce and other break-ups, withdrawal after break-up, the power of no-contact, and how to use the pain of a break-up to fuel personal growth at any stage of life. We also talk about the power of narrative, understanding the self, and shifting our narratives around break-ups towards empowerment.  

Janice Formichella is a breakup coach and the host of the podcast Breakups, Broken Hearts, and Moving on w/ Janice Formichella. She is passionate about helping people from all backgrounds to beat their breakup, overcome loneliness, and make the end of a relationship the start of a powerful new beginning. www.breakupspod.com IG: JaniceFormichella Breakupspodcast  

Kate Marlene Leone is a narrative therapist and works with clients internationally. More information at www.restoryatherapy.com

IG: @katerestorya
TikTok: @katemarlene

If you leave a review, send me a screenshot and I have a small gift for you!

 

Almost exactly 20 years ago I got pregnant. I was still in college and my boyfriend at the time was getting ready to start a Ph.D. at Harvard. We had big life dreams, that for both of us, seemed inevitable, not to be disrupted by an unexpected pregnancy.

A couple years ago I met up with Jeremie when we were both in Paris and he agreed to let me record this conversation about what happened, our relationship, and how our lives were impacted. I want to clarify firstly, this is not an anti-abortion narrative, however it is a conversation about “what-ifs” and it’s something I would do regarding any large life decision as great as this one.

I have to say I was a bit shocked learning about his feelings at the time and even in hindsight. There were a lot of things we never said, until now, and I think the conversation reflects more broadly on middle-age look backs, life choices, and the way our perspectives and learnings can change over time.

Again, it’s a story about stories. The stories we tell, the stories we may have forgotten, and the stories of what-if.

*

About Face is produced by me, Kate Marlene and is part of my larger project, Restorya, a narrative therapy practice based in Berlin. 

If you are interested in booking a session with me, please go to www.restoryatherapy.com for more information about my work.

You can also follow me on Facebook at Kate/Restorya

Instagram: @katerestorya

TikTok: @katemarlene

Music from this episode is an intentional flashback by Modest Mouse, my favorite band in college.