About Face

I started my work in activism at more of the macro level. I went to law school and studied international human rights at the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis. this where George Floyd was murdered and sort of the starting point of the protests against police brutality in the U.S. When I was there I was working for the American Civil Liberties Union on behalf of prison inmates. One of my jobs was to read the letters from the inmates, to decide if they had a claim. Now I can tell you what I was doing was listening, to stories, to emotions, to pain and loss. I was all in.
 
The problem was that I was acting like a lawyer, And a lawyer’s job, is not about stories, or empathy, or emotions or heart. A lawyers job is to decide whether these facts square with the law. I would normally take these letters and put them in a pile that said, “NO CASE.” What that meant was that whatever personal experiences and injustices were at the heart of these inmate letters, they were not meaningful enough to make a mark on the law. This was sort of the beginning of my questioning the role of the law, my ability to work within the confines of the legal system, that I could see was deeply flawed and had so many blind spots.
 
The personal is political and making sense of our past, how these personal stories and narratives are impacted and influenced by larger institutions of power do matter.
 
So, I was very interested in this role of narrative and began work in literary theory as a Ph.D. student at NYU. I was interested in the role of narrative in the law, power structures. This sort of paved the way for me over the years, to have this base understanding of stories, and narrative, as a source of power and justice, but also as the real source of activism, healing and recovery.
 
As a writer, I’ve always believed in translating my inner experience to the outer world, and in some ways that act in itself felt political. I am now a trained narrative therapist which means that I;m really looking at how systemic issues influence the individual, which brings me to tonights topic.. emotions. Emotions drive us, emotions are the root of passion and activism, and if you think about it they really begin in our bodies. I am doing somatic work in embodied activism which is really about learning how to see the body as the center point for any work at the individual and institutional level. How do we learn to become embodied, to see our bodies as a source of power and also often the place of oppression, because of race, gender, sexual orientation. Where does this all begin, in the body. But by becoming aware of our bodies. Becoming mindful of the body, we can begin to take back power.
 
So, back to emotions. If you have never done this before. I want you to close your eyes and think about how emotions manifest in your body. When you’re scared, is your chest tight, does anger start in your gut, does excitement cause your fingers to shake. We experience emotions in our bodies and this is one way to reconnect to get really in touch with where you are in your body emotionally, so that you can channel it. Many times people don’t stop to feel their emotions, but they actually are a physical experience, and instead of thinking of emotions as something to get out, like a catharsis, it can be more helpful to think of them as a kind of territory in your body, a place where you can live them experience them, and use them as a way to fuel your power.
 
I could talk more about this, but I wanted to just give that quick intro into the potential of narrative and storytelling gin transformational healing but also make this connection to somatic healing and embodied activism. You can learn more about my community healing and work at restoryatherapy.com and I will also read this poem, which I think for me is a personal reflection on the relationship between this inner and outer world…
 
Formless
 
From the rooftops, that carve a pathway
Towards the steeple, the clouds thin and even
Where birds perch, on the stone meridian
The leaves that grow tired and fold.
Beneath this lapping sky, that once belonged to us.
 
In the milky sunset haze, the shadows crawl north.
And we wait, now, for the face of night.
Her glow, the mysteries, that lie beneath.
The stories that unfurl between promises
Between the sheets, the windows and walls
There was us. And then, the world.
 
Dampened lust, our bodies, we are lost in
Formlessness, beyond the rings of ecstasy
We know these lines, the edges of being,
Where we wait to be discovered,
Uncovered, and lifted, elevated beyond
White crests, the carnal rain.
 
The walls are dirty with time.
And tell us more than we want to remember.
So we silence them, with only our eyes.
There was nothing left to bare.
Secret eddies of lost thrown stones.
There was nothing left for us to bare.
 
And this time, we will need a map,
To guide us from these rooms, to tell us
Where to go, how to be, the way we were.
Out there in here or in here, out there.
The desert has never touched the ocean.
The sun can only long to kiss moon.
 
From pink to blue to summer night.
It wasn’t long until the hum of the street,
The dog barking, pulling at the leash,
Life is awakened, in the dark.
The wind beckons, not forgotten
From the windows, we hear her calls,
It’s a beat, a force we won’t forsake.
 
 
Kate Marlena Leone
July 13, 2020
 

Kate interviews Aisling Ní Chába about her internal experience with gender identity from childhood, growing up in an abusive family and repressive Catholic community in Glasgow. She talks about the challenges she faced in finding institutional support and how transitioning forced her to confront gender binary narratives on the personal level as well as in academia as an archaeologist. I did this interview about a week before she entered the hospital for vaginoplasty or gender confirmation surgery. We are talking about gender, but also the underlying scientific narratives that can impact self-identity especially related to bio-constructs.

I'm a divorced, single mom, an alcoholic, I suffer from depression and anxiety, among some other things, and yes, all of this sounds really shitty, but it's not really the story of my life. The way we talk about ourselves and our experiences matters. This episode is about how we can learn to separate ourselves and our identity from our problems, how avoiding certain labels can inhibit our ability to get help, and the role of narrative therapy in finding solutions. 

Stories tell us about where we come from, who we are. They give us meaning and purpose. And without some understanding of how they influence us, a story can keep us in bad habits. I want to use my own life as an example of how my own stories kept me from healing, and how learning new narratives gave me room to heal.

I started drinking alcoholically when I was about 16, though I wouldn’t have admitted it. I did know something was “wrong” especially after I wound up in the hospital with alcohol poisoning on my 16th birthday, however, no amount of therapists, family interventionists, even doctors could have persuaded me that I had a problem with alcohol, or that I was an alcoholic. But why? In some ways, it was obvious even then.

One of the most powerful transformations I have made in my life was the recovery from alcoholism. This began with the pain of admitting something was wrong and connecting with my own narratives around alcoholism, failure, perfectionism, self-worth, and love. For me, getting sober meant reframing the entire story I had told about myself and my place in the world. ⠀

In this week's podcast I am going to talk about the role of narrative in my own life, not directly from the perspective of narrative therapy, but the power of storytelling, listening to others, community sharing, and how creating meaning gave me the power to break through limitations to connect with a higher and more empowered self. ⠀
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In our first episode of Restorya, Kate talks about the evolution of About Face and why she’s changed the show and the content to introduce her work in narrative therapy. She shares the origin story of About Face, her own experience with getting sober and recovery through narrative and storytelling and how creating hope around narrative can be beneficial in moving beyond our pain and trauma. Kate delves into what narrative therapy is, her own experience with studying narrative for 20 years and how narrative therapy methods can help you to come to a deeper understanding of yourself, your identity, and create responses to your life in an authentic and empowered way.

I met MISSA BLUE after one of her hypnotic burlesque shows, a political, challenging and riveting performance history of the Black Panthers. Missa Blue is a well known variety performer who has gained international recognition through her highly skilled sword swallowing shows and for being one of the very few woman in the world who are still actively practicing this ancient art form. In 2016 she survived a life threatening accident on stage. This has pushed her to become an activist for Performers of Colour in international show business. She has since been called a role model for her fight against racism and for more visibility of black female performers in the industry.

In this episode, I talked to Missa about growing up as a young black girl by white German parents, losing her mother at a young age, battling her father's alcoholism, her struggles with anorexia, and how performance art has brought her healing and restored her power and identity.

Missa talks about the challenges faced by artists of color and how she is building an international coalition to support persons of color in the arts: “It’s really important that people see that a black woman can do this, and that there are other people of color who do incredible things.”

Missablue.net

Instagram: @missablue

Excerpts from Missa's Ted Talk were also included in this episode. The full talk can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQMxh-oaAOM

Today we are sharing a guest episode from Filter Stories by James Harper about Raymond, a former member of an Amish community who left his home and his country. Raymond's family want him to spend his life using a horse instead of a car, to live off the grid and have little contact with the outside world.

But young Raymond is curious and explores the outside world. His father reacts by moving the family into an even more isolated community.

Fast-forward 20 years and Raymond is pulling espressos in Melbourne.

How did Raymond escape? And how did he end up as a barista in Melbourne?

Trigger warning: this episode contains references to sexual abuse.

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Sound mixing: Dom Edgley / https://domedgleysound.com/

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Christine McAlister has endured one of the most horrible and traumatic experiences that I can imagine, and yet, her retelling of the experience and how it changed her is admirable and profound. This is courage, strength, and power in the face of adversity and it’s what I love to learn about from people who have really been through some of life’s toughest lessons. 

What happens when the worst thing that you think could ever happen to you, actually happens? How do you make sense of life when you are faced with the greatest loss?

You can find Christine's work at www.lifewithpassion.com

About Face is a Member of Bear Radio- the premier English speaking podcast network of Berln. Music for this episode was provided by The Space Where She Was from the Album, How to Play Dead.

Lisa was an ambitious 20-something working for the United Nations when a sudden and chronic illness became debilitating, leaving her unable to work. This the story of facing her illness, a shocking diagnosis, and her ability to let go of expectations of life and self. It's a story about losing loved ones, forgiveness, and self-compassion. It's about coming to terms with death and how she redefined a meaningful life. 

About Face is a member of Bear Radio

Music provided by Miss Kenichi. 

Our guest Tim, shares semi-anonymously about his experiences with an unexpected pregnancy, as a new father, and a truth about his life that changed everything. It's a story that reminds us how to move forward through life's challenges, and how to face the most impossible decisions without regret. 

No one’s life turns out perfect. Nothing works out exactly the way that we’ve planned or expected, but the question is what we do with our mistakes, or those moments that force us into difficult decisions, or different paths.  There are so many experiences in life that can injure us, leave us weaker, scared or less. Like Tim said, everyone reacts differently. Some people suffer a tragedy or loss and never really recover. Others are still able to see beauty and possibility and grateful for what they’ve had.

This is an episode is about life turns and those unforeseen, unexpected challenges. Betrayals and loss. The real-life concoction of beauty and pain, the way that many of our experiences of love, can also have a shadow.

About Face is a member of Bear Radio, the premier English speaking podcast network of Berlin. 

In this episode you the songs, "Your Shattered Outline" and "The Memory Changes Every Time I Remember," by The Space Where She Was.

Also, "Different Angles" by the artist, Ketsa with rights from the Free Music Archive.