About Face

One of the greatest pains we will ever endure in life is heartache, either from a break-up, rejection, divorce, or the severance of a relationship. In this episode I talked with Janice Formicella, a break-up coach and host of the podcast, "Break-ups, Broken Hearts, and Moving On." We talked about recovery from our own divorce and other break-ups, withdrawal after break-up, the power of no-contact, and how to use the pain of a break-up to fuel personal growth at any stage of life. We also talk about the power of narrative, understanding the self, and shifting our narratives around break-ups towards empowerment.  

Kate Marlene Leone is a narrative therapist and works with clients internationally. More information at www.restoryatherapy.com

IG: @katerestorya
TikTok: @katemarlene

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Almost exactly 20 years ago I got pregnant. I was still in college and my boyfriend at the time was getting ready to start a Ph.D. at Harvard. We had big life dreams, that for both of us, seemed inevitable, not to be disrupted by an unexpected pregnancy.

A couple years ago I met up with Jeremie when we were both in Paris and he agreed to let me record this conversation about what happened, our relationship, and how our lives were impacted. I want to clarify firstly, this is not an anti-abortion narrative, however it is a conversation about “what-ifs” and it’s something I would do regarding any large life decision as great as this one.

I have to say I was a bit shocked learning about his feelings at the time and even in hindsight. There were a lot of things we never said, until now, and I think the conversation reflects more broadly on middle-age look backs, life choices, and the way our perspectives and learnings can change over time.

Again, it’s a story about stories. The stories we tell, the stories we may have forgotten, and the stories of what-if.

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About Face is produced by me, Kate Marlene and is part of my larger project, Restorya, a narrative therapy practice based in Berlin. 

If you are interested in booking a session with me, please go to www.restoryatherapy.com for more information about my work.

You can also follow me on Facebook at Kate/Restorya

Instagram: @katerestorya

TikTok: @katemarlene

Music from this episode is an intentional flashback by Modest Mouse, my favorite band in college. 

Any time we try to convince others of our truth and convictions we lose power. When I got divorced I heard a lot of rumors about myself-- I'm crazy, left my husband for a younger boyfriend, etc. This experience taught me a lot about how to stand in my own power and truth and to not let myself be vulnerable to the thoughts and opinions of others.

I got on a dating app in 2012 and met my now ex-husband. Now I have two German kids and I can't leave the country! On a bad day this really gets be down, however, it has taught me a lot about the power of reimagining possibility within the very real limitations of our lives and circumstances. This episode is for anyone who has felt held back back or "stuck" because of circumstances, past decisions, and the consequences of just living our lives. Reimagine your limitations with real hope, possbility, and space for growth. 

Last summer I got hypnotized for over two hours and I wanted to share about this experience as well as the relationship I found between narrative healing and subconscious imagery. In this episode I interview Marta Styczen about her hypnotherapy practice and we talk about my session, including the process of going under hypnosis, what it is really like, whether anyone is susceptible to hypnosis, what I learned, and how I found it to be such a powerful source of healing and information. While there was also a situation of what could be considered "past life regression," we also talked about the role of imagery, metaphor, and of course, narrative. 

I talk about how the session unlocked some early experiences, some painful, but also awakened some understandings for me around relationships with men, my past, and my current energies.

Marta shares about her Quantum Healing Hypnosis practice, the role of deep meditation, connecting with a higher self, and how she is self-recovered from schizophrenia. 

We also talk about how language itself is an artificial construct and is limited in communicating some messages and ideas and how the right side of our brain uses imagery to tell stories. 

For more information about Marta:

current location & session booking via website www.selfhealing.work or IG @marta.styczen.

Mental health advocacy projects: neurodivergencegallery.org & IG @neuro_gallery

Instagram: @restorya

FB: Kate Marlena-Restorya

Restorya is a member of Bear Radio.

Theme music by Kenichi and the Sun

Today I want to talk about something I call “Attachment Stories,” and it’s the stories that attach themselves to events, issues, or traits about ourselves, our families, communities etc. Basically, it’s the accompanying stories that might crop up in a damaging way.

Many of you have probably heard this expression: “Pain inevitable, suffering is optional” an ancient Buddhist expression, made popular by Haruki Murakami. This quote is basically the premise of how to face attachment stories. That is to say that the human experience will inevitably involve pain: we will face hardship, loss, and eventually death, but the suffering that accompanies it will be of our own making. So, beyond the other Buddhist tenants of acceptance and impermanence, we can also look more practically at these attachment stories that really can exacerbate the suffering of our lives.

In this episode I share about my own experiences in the last month- a new lockdown, my daughter's brain surgery last month, getting served divorce papers, and losing my apartment. I share about how these experience triggered my old self narratives and how I was able to reconnect with other stories around love, connection, and self-empowerment. 

I used to think I could insulate myself against pain or hardship by doing the right thing or making "good decisions." When my daughter was diagnosed with a rare brain condition, I had to face my greatest fears of illness, vulnerability, and a total loss of control. In this episode I share about going through the transition from denying and fighting against hardship and how learning to accept difficult fates and struggles has taught me about connection, humanity, and empathy. 

This episode was inspired by an essay I wrote called, "The Things We Cannot Handle," originally published in Scary Mommy in 2017. 

If you are interested in learning more about narrative please check out my website www.restoryatherapy.com and feel free to book a session with me. 

You can find more content at Patreon and please consider subscribing to support my work. 

https://www.patreon.com/join/restorya

Email: [email protected]
@restorya on Instagram
Facebook: Kate Marlena-Restorya

Restorya is a member of Bear Radio, the premier English speaking podcast network of Berlin

Our theme music is the song JEANNE by KENICHI & THE SUN from album White Fire which you can find here.