In Part 2 of their discussion on the 9 Building Blocks, Mallika and Bonnie dive into Blocks 5-9, exploring key skills for personal and relational growth.

Topics Discussed:

• Building Block 5: Energy – Mallika and Bonnie explore the importance of recognizing different energy states in relationships and how using the "Me & We" skills can help improve mutual understanding and acceptance, especially when partners are in different energy states.
• Willing, Wanting, and Committing – They dive into the concept of willing, wanting, and committing as different levels of energy and action, and how this understanding helped Mallika shift her approach during a challenging moment with her husband, leading to a more aligned and less stressful response.
• Building Block 6: Shame – Bonnie and Mallika discuss the various defenses we use to protect against shame and the impact of conflation errors (as discussed in Episode #20). They emphasize the importance of recognizing these errors to navigate shame more effectively in personal and relational interactions.
• Building Block 7: Receiving a Protest – They explore how understanding the first six building blocks is essential for receiving protests in relationships. The ability to handle protests effectively is key to deepening interpersonal work and strengthening bonds.
• Building Block 8: Independent Self – Mallika highlights the importance of the "3 C’s" (Compassion, Claiming, Curiosity) for developing an independent self that can self-organize. They discuss the value of emotional intelligence, taking space to regroup, and using the React-Remove-Regroup-Rehearse-Redo (Repair) cycle for healing and repair in relationships.
• Building Block 9: Claiming Truth – Mallika and Bonnie dive into the concept of claiming truth and self-authority, especially for "Truth Seekers." They emphasize the importance of warrior energy and heart in personal growth, and the need to assess resources, energy, and needs accurately. They also discuss the power of holding people accountable to their values for transformative change.

This episode emphasizes the importance of pausing to explore dilemmas, cultivating emotional intelligence, and recognizing progress, effort, and impact in relationships.

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Bonnie's book is available in paperback!
"Me And We: Finding Your Voice and Influencing Relational Interactions"


Send us your questions! Email them to [email protected]

Find out more about our work:
Bonnie's Website: bonniemacbride.com
Mallika's Website: rootedrelationships.com

Thank you to Jessica Carson Chen for the music for the show.
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Thank you to Positron Productions for producing and editing the show.