Have you ever noticed how often people say, “I’m sorry if I offended you” when they’re called out for something they said? In this episode of Five with Fry, I talk about why that phrase sounds like an apology but actually avoids accountability.

Adding the word if shifts the problem away from our words and onto someone else’s reaction. It suggests the issue isn’t what was said, but the fact that someone felt offended. That framing puts the responsibility on the listener instead of the speaker.

Real accountability looks different. It’s direct and specific: “I’m sorry for what I said.” Think of it as treating accountability like a yield sign—acknowledge it, own it, and move forward—rather than a stop sign where you get stuck in over-apologizing.

In this episode, I unpack how to recognize conditional apologies, why they undermine trust, and how to take ownership in ways that actually strengthen relationships.

Got a topic you’d like me to cover? Reach out and let me know. Be sure to subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, and connect with me on Instagram, TikTok, and Twitter @JenFryTalks or on LinkedIn at Dr. Jen Fry.