Frederic Gray is a national speaker, author, and the founder of the Fathers of Faith and Daughters of Excellence Retreat in Tampa, Florida. He’s a husband and a father of five (5) (2 boys, 3 girls, from ages 12 to 1) with one more on the way, and he’s passionate about teaching fathers how to win the hearts of their children. He’s also the author of “How to Win Your Children’s Heart Using God’s Word.”

To connect with Frederic Gray, you can visit his websites at either: http://www.FredericGray.com or http://wwww.FatherDaughterRetreat.com or http://www.RealMenUniversity.com 

Here are the steps Frederic outlined for us:

When to spank: When they clearly understand the rules they broke and your expectations of them.

1. Make sure they understand that the most important thing to do is obey God.
2. Find a private place to spank them.
3. Speak super gentle to them and without anger.
4. Have them tell you what they were supposed to do, but didn't.
5. Ask them: "Did you obey Daddy?"
6. Ask them: "Did you obey God?"
7. Share a verse from the Bible on discipline (Ex. Prov. 13:24).
8. Ask them: "What is God telling me to do?" (child: to spank me)
9. Ask them: "If I don't spank you, am I obeying God?"
10. Tell them: "I want to obey God, because I love you and I love God."
11. Ask them (again):"Do you know why I'm going to give you a spanking?"
12. Pray with them BEFORE you spank them (while holding them close).
13. Use the rod/paddle (NOT your hand) when spanking your child.
14. Hit them only on the bottom (let it hurt, but don't damage them).
15. Lay with them afterwards to comfort them and affirm them.

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