40 Before 40: 40 Life Lessons Before Turning 40

I took myself out to a nice dinner in Atlanta. By dessert, a total stranger had walked over to tell me I was an inspiration.

It started years ago with a tiny indie movie theater and a box of popcorn for one. Plus, why treating yourself well is the fastest way to raise your standards in dating.

Share this with the friend who's embarrassed to dine alone, and follow so you don't miss the next lesson.

I wasn’t always a good friend. It took hitting rock bottom to see it.

My friends kept showing up for me when I wasn’t showing up for them, and it changed how I do friendship now.

Share this with someone in your chosen family who’s earned a thank-you, and follow so you don’t miss the next lesson.

Last winter, I made a giant batch of soup for no reason. A week later, I found out why.

It’s the story behind the promise I made myself this year, and the annoying little habit that’s made my whole life easier.

Share this with the friend whose to-do list has been haunting her since spring, and follow so you don’t miss the next lesson.

What are you saving the good perfume for?

Packing up my grandmother’s bedroom changed the way I treat an ordinary Tuesday. Plus, why the average days might need your nice things more than the special ones.

Share this with the friend with a closet full of “too nice to wear,” and follow so you don’t miss the next lesson.

Don’t feel like doing something? Give it to the eldest daughter. She’ll handle it.

For years, I was my family’s unofficial help desk, until I realized it was never my job to fix everything. Plus, the difference between selfishness and a boundary.

Share this with the eldest daughter who’s carrying everyone’s stuff, and follow so you don’t miss the next lesson.

You’re telling a friend about your terrible day, and before you finish, she’s handed you a 5-step action plan. Sound familiar?

The ex who was definitely wrong for me left me with one question I’ve never stopped using. Plus, why the person everyone comes to for advice might be the worst listener in the room.

Share this with the friend who always jumps straight into fix-it mode, and follow so you don’t miss the next lesson.

Your best friend is dating the wrong person. Everyone knows it. Now what?

In this episode, I talk about the college friend who kept taking back the guy she couldn’t stop complaining about, and why my opinion was only making it harder for her. Plus, what this rule actually means, where it stops, and why being right is overrated.

Share this with the friend who’s biting her tongue, and follow so you don’t miss the next lesson.

Married by 30, house by 32, kids by 35? Nobody’s handing out a trophy at the end. I checked.

We treat milestones like checkpoints in a race, but there’s no podium, no prize for doing it on schedule, and no fast pass for winning someone’s approval. In this episode, I talk about why “feeling behind” only exists if there’s a race. (There isn’t.)

Share this with someone who feels behind right now, and follow so you don’t miss the next lesson.

Walking into a room full of strangers and sure everyone’s sizing you up? Here’s the math that changed how I walk into every room.

In high school, I read Kelly Cutrone’s If You Have to Cry, Go Outside and wrote one idea from it on a Post-it in my bedroom. Nearly 25 years later, it still works. In this episode, I talk about that Post-it, the confidence program I attended and later taught, and why being self-conscious is the most universal feeling there is. Plus, the bravest (and kindest) thing you can do at any party or networking event.

Share this with someone who has a big room to walk into this week, and follow so you don’t miss the next lesson.

When you’re a kid, you assume the adults have it figured out. They seem to know everything. Then you become the adult.

In Lesson 2 of 40 Before 40, I report back from the rooms I used to think held all the answers. What I found there changed how I think about money, titles, ambition, and what success is supposed to look like.

In this episode: – What’s actually behind the curtain in the rooms you’re trying to get into – The trap of chasing a promotion you don’t even want – The one-question test I use before going after anything shiny

If you’ve ever measured yourself against a job title, a salary, or somebody’s status, this is the episode for you. Know someone climbing a ladder they’re not sure they even want? Send this their way. New lessons every day. Stay curious, chase your joy, and age gratefully.