Trial & Error & Error Podcast

40. When to start Couples Therapy?

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Couples therapy is not just for relationships on the brink. In this episode, LJ and Ale unpack when to start couples therapy, what research says about timing, and the signs that “we’re fine” might actually mean “we’re stuck.” 💬🧠

You’ll hear about:

  • Early intervention and why it works ✅
  • The “Four Horsemen” warning signs ⚠️
  • High-risk transition seasons that can test any relationship 🔁
  • Different therapy styles, from EFT to the Gottman Method 🧩
  • How to find a therapist that fits you (not just the internet) 🔍

    • If you’ve ever wondered whether it’s “bad enough” to go to therapy, this episode is your gentle nudge: you do not have to wait for a disaster to get support. 🫶🏽

    🎛️ Editor’s note: The audio quality in this recording is not our best. We’re sorry about that, and we appreciate your patience while we keep improving our setup.

    📚 References
    • American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (2015). Consumer Update Survey.
    • Doss, B. D., et al. (2009). The effect of the transition to parenthood on relationship quality. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
    • Gottman, J. M. (1994). Why Marriages Succeed or Fail. Simon & Schuster.
    • Johnson, S. M., et al. (1999). Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy: Status and challenges. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice.
    • Wiebe, S. A., & Johnson, S. M. (2016). A review of the research in Emotionally Focused Therapy. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy.
    • Williamson, H. C., et al. (2016). Timing and effectiveness of couple therapy. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology.
    • Perel, E. (2017). Mating in Captivity. Harper.
    • Gottman Institute research summaries (various publications).
    • Showtime. (2019–2025). Couples Therapy.

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