The Divorce Revolution

448. Why "Just Be Yourself" Is Terrible Advice for New Coaches


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Being told to "just be yourself" sounds supportive… until you're sitting in a live coaching session wondering what to say next and whether you're even helping the person in front of you.

In this episode of The Divorce Revolution Podcast, I break down why "just be yourself" is actually some of the most misleading advice new coaches receive—and how it can quietly create more anxiety, overthinking, and imposter syndrome than confidence.

If you've been winging your sessions, second-guessing yourself afterward, or wondering if you're cut out for coaching at all, then this episode is for you.

Resources Mentioned:

  • Register to #CoachU, a FREE bootcamp for divorced moms who want to lead coaching sessions with confidence, clarity, and structure without guessing, freezing, or overstepping: https://products.ambershaw.com/coachu-organic-jan2026
  • Listen to Episode 446. "Am I Even Helping My Clients?" Here's How to Tell: https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/446-am-i-even-helping-my-clients-heres-how-to-tell/id1577282350?i=1000744263901
  • Listen to Episode 447. What Coaching Sessions Actually Look Like (It's Simpler Than You Think): https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/447-what-coaching-sessions-actually-look-like-its-simpler/id1577282350?i=1000744782104

What I Discuss:

  • 02:47 Why "just be yourself" sounds supportive but often creates more confusion
  • 04:23 How lack of structure leads to overthinking and post-session spirals
  • 11:06 What actually builds confidence inside a coaching session
  • 13:47 How competence (not vibes) is what calms your nervous system as a coach

Find more from Amber Shaw:

Instagram: @msambershaw

Website: ambershaw.com

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The Divorce RevolutionBy Amber Shaw