Firstly, if you haven't already listened to Episode 40 – People Pleasing – I lightly recommend you listen to this one first.

Ok, so let's start with some examples of what not being able to say no looks like. We have:

• Break up's and dating: Your friends pursue you to get onto a dating sight after a break up. You don't want to, but you do it anyways but then you think: 'What if I meet someone and I don't click with them, how do I say I don't want to see them again'
• Drinking: As much as this might be a shock to you, we don't 'always' drink. Yet sometimes we find it hard to say 'no' will I be missing out? Will people think I'm 'not fun' How do I say no to a drink?
• Play Dates: You organize a playdate, but then you're exhausted you don't want to go but what if the other person thinks you're being nasty, that you're not a good friend? What if they never want to meet up again?
• Family: a family message goes out about the family going to dinner on a Wednesday night (brothers, sisters, cousins etc) the kids have sport practice that afternoon and school the next day. If you don't go you think everyone will think you're a bad person. IF you do, the kids will not get enough sleep

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

• Why don't we just say no? Because we have a: Fear of conflict, fear of others not liking us
• Women tend to want to avoid conflict more than men they want others to be happy
• First of all, you don't always need to use the word 'NO' actually in most cases this is the WORST word you can use
• 1.Set boundaries on what you ARE/ARE NOT comfortable with
• 2.Phrase your response with kindness, but firmness. Ensure the other person UNDERSTANDS what you're saying and is interpreting what you're saying the way you intend to send the message
• 3.Follow up with kindness.

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