A few years ago, I postponed breaking up with a guy I was dating.

I knew that I wanted to get married and suddenly he said he didn’t. 

He thought he might change his mind in the future so I tried to be patient.

I had what felt like very good reasons at the time.

I was in my 40s, it was the best relationship I’d had in years, I didn’t want to start all over again, maybe I wouldn’t find anyone as good as him or it would take a really long time.

But I was only postponing the inevitable.

The relationship deteriorated rapidly and I broke up with him anyway a few months later.

Then he married someone else within a year.

I am not at all sorry.

I ended up meeting my wonderful husband and I’m eternally grateful that I didn’t end up with the other guy.

He really did me a huge favor.

But I see this kind of thing all the time.

Being willing to stop seeing anyone who doesn’t share your relationship goals is an act of self love.

Have your own back in this world.

When you have the courage to love yourself in this way, you will attract the kind of man who will go the distance with you.

As a woman, it’s often counterintuitive to love ourselves first but we must.

And ultimately it is an act of service to the world when we do.

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