Mothering Ourselves Mindfully

46. The Radical MOM Pause Toolkit Ep. 4 : Rewiring Your Programming in the Pause


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This episode explores the neuroscience behind rewiring deeply ingrained patterns and how the pause serves as a foundation for creating lasting change. We dive into practical strategies for breaking free from autopilot reactions and consciously choosing new responses.

Key Topics Covered

Understanding Neural Pathways

  • How repeated patterns create well-traveled mental "trails"
  • Why changing established programming feels challenging
  • The difference between surviving and thriving patterns

The Power of the Pause

  • Moving from unconscious reactions to conscious responses
  • Activating your prefrontal cortex and executive functioning
  • Creating space between stimulus and response

The Rewiring Process

  • Catching yourself in reactive patterns
  • Tuning into your nervous system states
  • Meeting your inner needs with compassion
  • Finding your personal "oil and garlic" regulation tools

Beyond In-the-Moment Changes

  • Why focusing only on thoughts is like blocking a fire hose
  • The importance of addressing nervous system programming
  • How 90-95% of our experience stems from unconscious patterns

Meet the Flourished Mother

  • Embodying the ventral vagal safety state
  • Learning healthy dysregulation and recovery
  • Moving from camping out in stress to returning to safety

The Time Factor

  • How different nervous system states affect our relationship with time
  • Thoughts from stress vs. grounded states
  • Reframing time scarcity into time abundance

Key Insights

"We can't change anything we're not aware of. Pausing is like pulling off onto the scenic outlook and looking at the road that you're on."

"The space between stimulus and response is where your freedom and your choice lives."

"Making time for myself models a new way of being for my kids."

Practical Takeaways
  • Use the pause to step out of autopilot reactions
  • Focus on nervous system regulation rather than just changing thoughts
  • Practice accessing safety states proactively, not just reactively
  • Consider longer pauses for deeper transformation work

Resources Mentioned
  • Awakening the Flourished Mother Meditation: https://player.captivate.fm/episode/aea1663a-d5e5-4725-b907-3b849696eff8/ 
  • Nourish Retreat: https://checkout.theschoolofmom.com/nourish-retreat/ 
  • Radical Flourishing program: https://cal.com/theschoolofmom/breakthrough-call 

Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!


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Mothering Ourselves MindfullyBy Sarah Harmon