SUMMARY:

In this final episode of the happiness series, Ellen Dorian brings everything together—why happiness matters, what gets in the way, and most importantly, how to actually build it. This episode is divided into three key parts:

1. A review of the series—Happiness in relationships, the barriers men face, busting the Happy Wife, Happy Life myth, and introducing the Relationship Energy Spectrum
2. An update on the Relationship Energy Spectrum.—How happiness, engagement, challenge and skills align, based on Jay Shetty’s insights on flow-state theory shared on the Diary of a CEO podcast.
3. Five no-BS strategies to take control of your own happiness—without toxic positivity, gratitude journals, or generic self-help advice.

Part 1: Why Happiness Matters & The Relationship Energy Spectrum

• Happiness isn’t a luxury—it directly impacts relationships and life satisfaction.
• The Happy Wife, Happy Life myth sets men up for failure by putting happiness outside their control.
• The Relationship Energy Spectrum (introduced in the last episode) helps men understand whether they’re engaged or disengaged in their relationship.

Part 2: How Flow State Theory & Happiness Align

• Jay Shetty explained Flow State Theory on Diary of a CEO—happiness comes from being fully engaged in what you’re doing. He explained that the brain needs challenge and skill to be balanced—too much challenge creates stress, too little creates boredom.
• The Relationship Energy Spectrum aligns with Flow State Theory:
• Flow = Engaged & Positive → Challenge and skills are balanced. Battle Stations = Engaged & Negative → Too much challenge, not enough skill. Comfort Zone = Disengaged & Positive → Skills too high, challenge too low → leads to boredom. Loveless Limbo = Disengaged & Negative → No challenge, no skill → leads to emotional numbness.
• Key Reflection Question: Do you need to seek out new challenges or up-level your skills to improve your relationship?

Part 3: 5 No-BS Strategies for Making More Happiness in Your Life

1. Shift from Goal-Driven to Impact-Driven Fulfillment

• Men often fall into the Achievement-Happiness Loop—chasing bigger goals but never feeling fulfilled.
• Hedonic Adaptation means every success quickly feels normal, leading to temporary highs and inevitable letdowns.
• Dr. Gad Saad explains that creativity is a major driver of happiness—people who build, innovate, and create experience deeper fulfillment than those chasing trophies.
• Legacy is more than money—the impact you create and the relationships you nurture are what truly matter.

2. Change Your Currency from Money to Time

• Once you quit seeking happiness through achievement, you need a new way to measure what truly matters. And if happiness is the goal, then the most valuable resource isn’t money, it’s time.
• A graph paper exercise helps visualize how many prime years of life are left—and how to use them wisely.
• The golf example: Golfers spend $10,000–$15,000 per year on the sport, but if they never have time to play, was that money (and time) well spent?
• Making decisions based on time gained, not money spent, leads to more freedom and happiness.

3. Cut the Bottom 10%

Inspired by Ellen's mentor, Leo Casey, who is a fractional CFO. Every year, cut the least valuable 10% of expenses, time-wasters, and commitments.

Apply the Four Rs: Remove, Reassign, Relegate, or Rehabilitate to free up mental bandwidth and time.

If your relationship is in the bottom 10%, don’t dump it—put it in rehabilitate mode and invest in making it a top 10% relationship.

4. Reconnect with the Natural World

The average man spends 93% of his life indoors—and it’s making them tired, stressed, and disconnected.

Science-backed ways to reset:

• Grounding: Walking barefoot rebalances the body's electrical charge → reduces stress, inflammation, and improves sleep.
• Forest Bathing: Trees release compounds that lower stress hormones and improve mental clarity.
• Salt therapy: Negative ions in ocean air improve breathing, mood, and sleep quality.
• Indoor solutions: Himalayan salt lamps, grounding mats, and NASA-approved indoor plants can replicate some of these benefits.

5. Make Happiness a Daily Practice

• Happiness isn’t a feeling—it’s a skill. The One-Minute Happiness SITREP rewires the brain:
• What made me feel even a little bit happy today?
• What’s one thing I can do tomorrow to get more of that?
• Over time, recognizing and creating happiness becomes second nature.

Key Takeaways:

Many men get blindsided by their partner’s unhappiness because they mistake the Comfort Zone for a healthy relationship.

Call to Action:

• Want personalized help applying these strategies? Book a free Relationship Reset Call at relationshipresetcall.com.
• Join the conversation in the Passionate Partners Insider Community on Facebook.
• Have thoughts on this episode? Email Ellen at [email protected] or connect with her on social media.
• Follow, Subscribe & Review to help more men access this content and strengthen their relationships.

Closing Thoughts:

• This episode wraps up the series on happiness, but the work doesn’t stop here. What’s one step you can take today to start making happiness instead of waiting for it to appear?
• How can you apply these five strategies in your life and relationship?
• If you’re serious about transforming your relationship, a little bit of support and expertise can go a long way, so don't try to do it all alone.

Support & Resources:

Ellen invites listeners to share their thoughts, either in the P3 Insider's Community or directly with her via email. Or, for one on one brainstorming on a specific situation, listeners can set up a time on Ellen's Calendar for a free Relationship Reset Call.

All links can be found below.

"Until next time, remember, 'What I want most in the world is for you to Make More Love in Your Life and with Your Wife.'" - Ellen Dorian
Disclaimer:

The Make More Love show is for information and entertainment purposes only, and reflects the personal opinions and experiences of the host and guests. It is not a substitute for professional advice or guidance in specific situations.



Make More Love Show Website: www.makemorelove.show

Parent Company: The Passionate Partners Project: www.passionatepartnersproject.com

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