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If your meetings are polite and nothing is changing, that’s not a culture win. It’s a warning sign.
In this episode of Five with Fry, we talk about how “being nice” often becomes a way to avoid telling the truth—especially when power is involved. Politeness gets praised. Discomfort gets labeled a tone problem. And real issues stay safely untouched.
This isn’t about being rude or reckless. Respect still matters. But softening the message to protect comfort slows decisions, blocks accountability, and keeps teams stuck in endless discussion. We break down how tone policing shows up at work, who it actually protects, and why so many leaders mistake calm meetings for progress.
You’ll hear practical ways to say the hard thing without turning it into a personal attack: how to anchor feedback in goals and risk, how to separate what you’re saying from how someone feels about hearing it, and how to stop over-editing your language until the point disappears. For leaders, we talk about what it really takes to invite dissent—and how to respond in the moment when someone is brave enough to use it.
Because clarity is not cruelty. It’s care. And work moves faster when people are allowed to be honest instead of polite.
If your team avoids tension but struggles to ship, start here. What’s the truth you’ve been sanding down that actually needs to be said—plainly—this week?
By Dr. Jen Fry5
33 ratings
If your meetings are polite and nothing is changing, that’s not a culture win. It’s a warning sign.
In this episode of Five with Fry, we talk about how “being nice” often becomes a way to avoid telling the truth—especially when power is involved. Politeness gets praised. Discomfort gets labeled a tone problem. And real issues stay safely untouched.
This isn’t about being rude or reckless. Respect still matters. But softening the message to protect comfort slows decisions, blocks accountability, and keeps teams stuck in endless discussion. We break down how tone policing shows up at work, who it actually protects, and why so many leaders mistake calm meetings for progress.
You’ll hear practical ways to say the hard thing without turning it into a personal attack: how to anchor feedback in goals and risk, how to separate what you’re saying from how someone feels about hearing it, and how to stop over-editing your language until the point disappears. For leaders, we talk about what it really takes to invite dissent—and how to respond in the moment when someone is brave enough to use it.
Because clarity is not cruelty. It’s care. And work moves faster when people are allowed to be honest instead of polite.
If your team avoids tension but struggles to ship, start here. What’s the truth you’ve been sanding down that actually needs to be said—plainly—this week?

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