Simon and Eugene begin and exploration of a new series here for Fusion Patrol.  We start our look at the 1976 ITV series Beasts, by Nigel Kneale.  This anthology series concentrates on… you guessed it… beasts.  But they may not always be the beasts you expect.

First up, Special Offer.  Has the mascot the Briteway supermarket come to life?  Or could it be something more sinister?

Synopsis:

It’s just an ordinary day at Briteway’s, a small chain supermarket location and the manager, Colin Grimley, is giving words of encouragement to one of his employees, Noreen Beale, a mousy, overweight, pimply-faced, teenage girl.  And by “words of encouragement” I mean he’s using his bubbly and effervescent management style to shout at her and explain how stupidly she’s stacking the cans of beans.  While he is singling her out for the bulk of his ire, it is also true that the other employees and customers don’t really like Noreen, either.  He really wants to fire her but as June, his senior underling, points out:  They are desperately understaffed and you can’t fire someone just because you don’t like them

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Lest you think Mr. Grimley is only about shouting at his employees, he’s got a soft spot for the lovely Linda – or you might call it a hard spot.  We know this because he’s enacting a letter-perfect recreation of a “How to conduct inappropriate sexual behavior in the workplace” training film with her.

About this time, Noreen starts knocking things over and breaking them.  She claims she didn’t do it, but no one believes her.  When she says she thought she saw an animal, Grimley snidely remarks that it must have been Briteway Billy, the supermarket’s cartoon mascot.  Noreen thinks that’s really funny and says it must be that.

It soon becomes evident to everyone that something is happening.  Products are knocked off shelves, bacon is gnawed, packages burst open.  People, including Grimley see things being moved about by something, but no one, except Noreen, catches a glimpse of “Billy.”  Exhaustive searches of the store find nothing.

Grimley calls in Mr. Liversedge, from Head Office HR, to help with the problem.

Shortly after Noreen sees Grimley and Linda sharing an inappropriate employer/employee moment together, Linda is driven screaming from the store by “Billy” never to be seen again.

Liversedge arrives and Grimley fills him in.  He says he’s sure it’s Noreen and wants to fire her.  Liversedge wants to talk to her.  He takes her across the street to a coffee shop and questions her, kindly.  It’s clear she’s in love with Grimley.

Back in the store, Liversedge starts to convince everyone that Billy isn’t real.  That doesn’t sit well with Noreen and Billy goes wild, destroying things all over the store.  Liversedge has seen the proof now.  This time Noreen says to Billy, “You’ve been very naughty, Billy.”

Grimley wants to fire her now, Liversedge; however, does not want that.  Have you ever heard of a Poltergeist?  Strange ghost-like behavior that always happens around troubled teenagers.  That’s what Liversedge thinks they have here and the girl needs help not firing.  He also knows that sometimes the kids know its them and sometimes they don’t, but he’s sure that Noreen is aware now.

Starting tomorrow, you will all be nice to her, and it’s all going well until a new potential cashier arrives to apply for the job.  Grimley likes the cut of her jib and  engages her in an innuendo-laden job interview process straight out of another corporate training film.

This does not sit well with Noreen and Billy goes ballistic.  Products fall, burst and explode.  The job candidate is rushed out of the store and, in a fit of pique, Grimley fires Noreen on the spot.  He justifies it to Liversedge as a matter of customer safety and to be fair to him, it’s the first competent thing he’s said this whole time.  Customers were in danger.

Later, as one of the customers is explaining to Grimley that it’s good riddance that Noreen is gone, she had the look of evil about her, Billy starts acting up again, causing a can to fly through the window destroying the help wanted sign in the window.  Across the street in the coffee shop, Noreen sits, staring.

Liversedge arrives and goes to talk to her.  Let’s go see your family doctor.  No?  Better idea, I’ll go get him, you sit here.

Grimley, alone in the shop, is tasked with watching her while not letting her see him.  Soon, Billy is knocking things off the shelf and Noreen is standing right outside the door.  In anger, Grimley runs at her, hurling abuse and manhandling her, demanding that she admit that she’s the cause of all the destruction.

…and then things go poorly for Mr. Grimley.  No longer content with just knocking things off shelves and bursting boxes, the cans of food become projectiles, pummeling him to death.

Later, as the body is taken out on a stretcher, Noreen says, “He loved me, really.  He said so.”

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