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[5] 8 Conflict Best Practices (part 2) — From Reactivity to Repair
- What if conflict didn't have to be a fight?
- What can you practice to move through conflict more quickly and gracefully?
- War culture didn't teach you conflict skills, but you can still learn!
LINKS
- Visit consciousrelating.org
- Upcoming Events: consciousrelating.org/events
- Couple's Coaching: consciousrelating.org/coaching
- Join the Newsletter: subscribepage.io/consciousrelating
CHAPTERS
1. Why You Should Listen to Part One First
How these practices build on each other—and why skipping the foundation can backfire.
2. Conflict as a Path to Pleasure and Stability
Reframing disagreement as an opportunity for trust, safety, and deeper connection.
3. Why Emotional Reactions Are Automatic (and Not the Problem)
Understanding the difference between feeling triggered and acting from the trigger.
4. Rejection Triggers and Old Emotional Imprints
How present-day moments activate historical wounds.
5. Zooming Out: Observing Instead of Collapsing Into the Story
Shifting from “I’m unlovable” to “I’m noticing tension in my chest.”
6. Creating Space Between Sensation and Reaction
How distance helps prevent conflict from turning into a fight.
7. Slowing Down as a Peace Practice
Why rushing is violence—and slowing down creates connection.
8. Why Your Perspective Can Wait
Trusting that there will be space for your experience without urgency.
9. Reflecting Back What Was Said (Not What You Assumed)
How simple repetition interrupts escalation.
10. When You’re Not Actually Having the Same Conversation
Why misunderstanding meaning—not words—fuels conflict.
11. Clarifying Before Defending
How repeating back gives your partner a chance to correct misinterpretation.
12. Emotional Activation as Nervous-System Energy
Understanding triggers as physical experiences in the body.
13. Breathing to Interrupt Reactivity
A simple inhale–exhale practice to slow heart rate and calm the system.
14. Movement as Emotional Release
Stretching, walking, cleaning, or exertion as non-destructive outlets.
15. Sighing, Grunting, and the Body’s Natural Intelligence
Ancient regulation tools we’ve been socially shamed out of using.
16. Why Children Recover Faster Than Adults
How expression allows the body to return to baseline.
17. Journaling, Voice Notes, and Self-Witnessing
Different ways to process charge without dumping it on your partner.
18. Co-Regulation Through Rhythm, Touch, and Song
Why syncing nervous systems builds safety faster than talking.
19. Singing as Regulation, Bonding, and Spellwork
How shared rituals anchor commitment during stressful times.
20. Regulating With Nature, Animals, and the Earth
Why contact with living systems calms the body.
21. Why Capacity Matters More Than Timing
Checking for availability before opening a hard conversation.
22. Desire vs. Capacity to Engage
Understanding that caring doesn’t always equal readiness.
23. Asking Instead of Assuming
How prefaces prevent unnecessary rupture.
24. Choosing the Right Moment for Repair
Why waiting can be an act of care—not avoidance.
25. From War Culture to Repair Culture
How these practices retrain your nervous system toward collaboration.
26. Conflict as a Skill You Practice, Not a Problem You Solve
Why repetition turns effort into habit.
27. Reflection: What Practices Are You Already Using?
Invitations to notice what’s working—and what you want to try next.
Best Practice #5: Don’t Take It So PersonallyBest Practice #6: Repeat What You Heard Before RespondingBest Practice #7: Self-Regulate or Co-RegulateBest Practice #8: Create a Container for Conflict
Music Credits
https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/dreamstate
License code: YTLHO7DQH73KDCKC
https://uppbeat.io/t/jeff-kaale/new-chapter
License code: 8U4D1JARWUZ8WEYO
View all episodes
By Forest Williams- What if conflict didn't have to be a fight?
- What can you practice to move through conflict more quickly and gracefully?
- War culture didn't teach you conflict skills, but you can still learn!
LINKS
- Visit consciousrelating.org
- Upcoming Events: consciousrelating.org/events
- Couple's Coaching: consciousrelating.org/coaching
- Join the Newsletter: subscribepage.io/consciousrelating
CHAPTERS
1. Why You Should Listen to Part One First
How these practices build on each other—and why skipping the foundation can backfire.
2. Conflict as a Path to Pleasure and Stability
Reframing disagreement as an opportunity for trust, safety, and deeper connection.
3. Why Emotional Reactions Are Automatic (and Not the Problem)
Understanding the difference between feeling triggered and acting from the trigger.
4. Rejection Triggers and Old Emotional Imprints
How present-day moments activate historical wounds.
5. Zooming Out: Observing Instead of Collapsing Into the Story
Shifting from “I’m unlovable” to “I’m noticing tension in my chest.”
6. Creating Space Between Sensation and Reaction
How distance helps prevent conflict from turning into a fight.
7. Slowing Down as a Peace Practice
Why rushing is violence—and slowing down creates connection.
8. Why Your Perspective Can Wait
Trusting that there will be space for your experience without urgency.
9. Reflecting Back What Was Said (Not What You Assumed)
How simple repetition interrupts escalation.
10. When You’re Not Actually Having the Same Conversation
Why misunderstanding meaning—not words—fuels conflict.
11. Clarifying Before Defending
How repeating back gives your partner a chance to correct misinterpretation.
12. Emotional Activation as Nervous-System Energy
Understanding triggers as physical experiences in the body.
13. Breathing to Interrupt Reactivity
A simple inhale–exhale practice to slow heart rate and calm the system.
14. Movement as Emotional Release
Stretching, walking, cleaning, or exertion as non-destructive outlets.
15. Sighing, Grunting, and the Body’s Natural Intelligence
Ancient regulation tools we’ve been socially shamed out of using.
16. Why Children Recover Faster Than Adults
How expression allows the body to return to baseline.
17. Journaling, Voice Notes, and Self-Witnessing
Different ways to process charge without dumping it on your partner.
18. Co-Regulation Through Rhythm, Touch, and Song
Why syncing nervous systems builds safety faster than talking.
19. Singing as Regulation, Bonding, and Spellwork
How shared rituals anchor commitment during stressful times.
20. Regulating With Nature, Animals, and the Earth
Why contact with living systems calms the body.
21. Why Capacity Matters More Than Timing
Checking for availability before opening a hard conversation.
22. Desire vs. Capacity to Engage
Understanding that caring doesn’t always equal readiness.
23. Asking Instead of Assuming
How prefaces prevent unnecessary rupture.
24. Choosing the Right Moment for Repair
Why waiting can be an act of care—not avoidance.
25. From War Culture to Repair Culture
How these practices retrain your nervous system toward collaboration.
26. Conflict as a Skill You Practice, Not a Problem You Solve
Why repetition turns effort into habit.
27. Reflection: What Practices Are You Already Using?
Invitations to notice what’s working—and what you want to try next.
Best Practice #5: Don’t Take It So PersonallyBest Practice #6: Repeat What You Heard Before RespondingBest Practice #7: Self-Regulate or Co-RegulateBest Practice #8: Create a Container for Conflict
Music Credits
https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/dreamstate
License code: YTLHO7DQH73KDCKC
https://uppbeat.io/t/jeff-kaale/new-chapter
License code: 8U4D1JARWUZ8WEYO