Once upon a time,

I had you both in my life.

It wasn’t perfect,

but it was alright.

Did as I was told,

And followed the rules.

Looking back,

Wasn’t I the fool.

An estranged father who couldn’t love,

To a deranged mother,

who thought she was above.

Looking in the mirror,

and what do I see?

A life of betrayal and hurt,

following me.

Growing up and you thought it was fun?

But here I am, an honorary orphan.

Alive and well you may be.

But a part of my life,

You shall not be.

The pain you have caused,

Runs deeper than you know.

I wish I understood it,

I wish I could show.

How all the years of lies and pretend,

Would take its toll on me in the end.

I was okay to push away my dad.

After all, you can’t take back

What we never had.

Leaving me with just a mum.

And a bond that grew so strong.

In the absence of a loving connection

The time we spent, It felt like redemption

To then be snapped away,

in the blink of an eye.

Teaching me, only I

can be manipulated so many times

Before even “I’ll protect you”

Starts to sound like a lie.

And now I’m here, all alone,

With no way back to the family home.

In those countless days of pain,

You both slowly drifted away.

Leaving me on my own ,

To fight for what I believe.

To make amends,

And to find my peace.

I’m all grown up now,

With thoughts of my own.

I’ve done the work,

And boy have I grown.

I’ve come to accept a life without,

Parents that project nothing but doubt.

So here’s to the future,

And a better version.

Continuing life,

As an honorary orphan.