How do you develop emotional intelligence? How do we gain control over our negative emotions especially those emotions that don’t serve us? Recognising your emotions and learning to manage them is one of the most important skills you can have – especially and even more so during these challenging times.Feelings are powerful and can become overwhelming at times. Both adults and children might struggle to manage their responses to their feelings and act in ways that feel very out of their control. For example, have you ever felt so angry that you said things you didn’t mean to someone? Then once you calmed down, you realised that your emotions got the better of you and you wish you handled it differently? Or someone in work sent an email that triggered you to send a very short and nasty response that later you regretted?
We have all behaved this way and it is important that we learn how to control these emotions so that we can deal with situations better and learn life skills to navigate our way through tough situations and handle them in a more calm, purposeful way. Being able to alter your thoughts and reactions will build your confidence in your own ability to cope. So let’s talk about five ideas to develop emotional mastery in your life so that you can have more of a continuing feeling and sense of self and strength.
Because generally here’s how people deal with negative emotions:
Avoiding all situations that could potentially lead to a negative emotion. For example, people avoid
taking risks or approaching that stranger because theyare trying to avoid the feeling of rejection or failure.
It’s also working not to feel negative emotions.
For example, self-medicating yourself with drugs, alcohol, or food. Or, spending time watching TV or go on Facebook or use other forms of media as a way toself-hypnotize themselves and escape.
This is disassociating to the negative emotion by saying things like, “It’s not that bad.” The only problem with this approach is that by ignoring the message, the emotion increases – it intensifies until you finally pay attention.
This is when the negative emotion becomes a part of your identity and a way for you to be unique. It’s something that you’re constantly telling others about, saying things like “You think you’ve got it bad? Wait until you hear my story…”
Finally the 4) LEARN and UNDERSTAND
Learn how to master your emotions is to understand that all emotions serve you. Your negative emotions are a call to action, also known as “Action Signals”. Change the meaning of negative emotions to “Action Signals”, then all of a sudden your emotions become your mentor, ally, and coach – they guide you. The
emotions you are feeling right now are a gift, a guideline, a support system, or a call to action.
Your Action Signals are telling you that what you’re currently doing is not working. YOU are the source of all your emotions, you are the one who creates them.
We’ve all had situations where our emotions got the best of us. Oftenit’s because we didn’t realize what was happening until we were too far down the “emotional hijack train” to change it. The best time to handle an emotion is when you first begin to feel and experience it fully. That way it won’t keep popping up time and time again. By following these 5 straightforward tips, you’ll learn how to master your emotions and take control of your life.
