50 Common Causes of Family Business Conflict ... and how to deal with them

Family Systems & Skills - Teamwork.  

By Jon Kenfield. Solutionist.  

• Families tend to assume that their “familyness” means they naturally work well as a team, but the reality is often far from the belief - which easily leads to conflict when expectations are seriously mismatched and badly unmet.  

• The quality of teamwork has a lot to do with group culture, shared goals and values, respect, trust and inclusion. Teams function best when they have worthwhile tasks that place demands on neutral reliability.  

• Solution: start building the family team from a young age to get family members used to the idea of working with other family members.  

• Within the family, philanthropy and investment committees, along with social and holiday committees, provide good opportunities for developing collaborating skills and teamwork.  

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50 Common Causes of Family Business Conflict ... and how to deal with them

Family Business Mediator. Family Systems & Skills - Respect & Trust.  

By Jon Kenfield. Solutionist. 

• Families & family businesses tend to believe that their “familyness” automatically confers high levels of honesty, integrity, respect & trust, where sometimes the very opposite is in play: very low levels mutual trust due to the perception of lack of personal respect and/or reliability in the performance of promises, especially those given privately that relate into the business.  

• The family business curse refers to the damage that business relations can inflict on family groups when decisions are made in & about the business that adversely impact family members, family as a whole, or part of the family.  

• Solution: develop a family plan with clearly allocated roles, responsibilities and accountabilities. Use the planning process to reconnect family members to commence the rebuilding of respect, which is stepping stone toward rebuilding trust.  

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50 Common Causes of Family Business Conflict ... and how to deal with them

Family Business Mediator Audio 18. Family Systems & Skills - Decision Making.  By Jon Kenfield. Solutionist.  

• Issues with decision-making are a major cause of conflict in many business families, both in the family and in the business.  

• Charismatic business leaders can get drunk on power, which may lead to suboptimal business decisions and seriously dysfunctional family decisions.  

• A major cause of conflict lies in decisions that appear to have been made collectively, and are then unilaterally overruled. Family members and employees can lose all faith in the process.  

• Solution: provide the family and/or the business with a decision-making workshop leading to the adoption of a settled problem-solving and decision-making process.  

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50 Common Causes of Family Business Conflict ... and how to deal with them

Family Systems & Skills - Problem Solving.  By Jon Kenfield. Solutionist.  

• Some families are naturally collaborative and engaging, others rely on key decision-makers to make some or all decisions. In the first case the family will develop systems and processes for solving problems. In the second case, the family may develop high dependency on individuals to the detriment of skill development amongst the majority.  

• Lack of engagement of other family members in problem-solving is a significant cause of difficulty in succession planning.  

• Solution: Run programs teaching problem-solving to members of the family group using real issues as subject matter.  

• Engage family members in problem-solving discussions within the family (philanthropy, investment, family policies etc.).  

• Engage appropriate family members in problem solving discussions within the business.  

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50 Common Causes of Family Business Conflict ... and how to deal with them

Family Systems & Skills - Communication.  By Jon Kenfield. Solutionist.   

• It's common to blame lack of, or breakdown in, communication for causing conflict. This is total rubbish and causes enormous problems when hope, time and effort are put into fixing symptoms, rather than causes.  

• Individuals may lack the skills and insights required to recognise the different requirements of commercial vs social communications. Social communications do not require the same level of disciplined thinking and approach that commercial Communications demand.  

• Solution: Find out WHY communication has broken down (invariably relationship issues) and address those before trying to improve communication skills.  

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50 Common Causes of Family Business Conflict ... and how to deal with them

Emotional Baggage.  

• Root cause of many family business conflicts can be traced back/attributed to actual and perceived actions/inactions that created negative emotional impacts that have generated substantial emotional investment over many years to become emotional baggage that individuals carry around with them, to their detriment.  

• Solution: coaching, counselling and/or psych assistance to help diminish impact of emotional baggage, increase emotional resilience, and improve relationship engagement.  

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50 Common Causes of Family Business Conflict ... and how to deal with them

Parenting Styles & Practices.  

• Root cause of many family business conflicts can be traced back/attributed to parenting styles (behaviours), and parenting practices (emotional context).  Parenting Styles = behaviours:  

• Dictatorial: obedience and punishment, rather than discipline.  

• Authoritative: positive relationships, rules, consequences and discipline.  

• Permissive (indulgent): no rules, no discipline, no enforcement, overly accepting.  

• Uninvolved (neglectful): limited guidance, attention, engagement, nurture or discipline.  Parenting Practices = emotional context.  

• Responsive / Unresponsive : Demanding / Undemanding  

• Solution: explore the family’s story (“narrative”) and attempt to explain and normalise past choices, taking responsibility (apologies) for errors made, damage caused and hurt felt.  

• Provide coaching support to address severe emotional damage. I'm interested in your comments below.   

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50 Common Causes of Family Business Conflict ... and how to deal with them

Emotional Resilience and “broken wing” syndrome - Business.  

• Emotional Resilience = coping with stress and minimising anxiety.   Epidemic.  

• Broken Wing Syndrome = parent(s) protecting weaker children.   

• Contributed to by genetics, home, school & social environments, birth order, parenting skills, domineering parent(s) and or aggressive siblings.  

• Protectionist parents exert undue and unwanted influence on business decisions,  major favouritism and organisational dysfunction.  

• Solution:  Institute a structured & objective performance management system in the business:  formalise org charts, positions and functions, roles & responsibilities & KPIs.

50 Common Causes of Family Business Conflict ... and how to deal with them

Emotional Resilience and “broken wing” syndrome - Parents & Family.  

• Emotional Resilience = coping with stress and minimising anxiety.   Epidemic.  

• Broken Wing Syndrome = parent(s) protecting weaker children.    

• Contributed to by genetics, home, school & social evironments, birth order, parenting skills, domineering parent(s) and/or aggressive siblings.  

• Parental protectionist style spills from family into business, rifts between siblings (fairness) & between parents (merit & worth).  

• Solution (2): focus on 

(a) sibling interests and 

(b) parents’ relationship with particular reference to the broken wing motivator.    Siblings:  negotiate to self-interest.  Parents:  get their thinking straight between family & business & support for appropriate help for weak child.

50 Common Causes of Family Business Conflict ... and how to deal with them

Emotional Resilience 1 - Broken Wing Syndrome- Individuals.  

• Emotional Resilience = coping with stress and minimising anxiety.   Epidemic.  

• Broken Wing Syndrome = parent(s) protecting weaker children.    

• Contributed to by genetics, home, school & social environments, birth order, parenting skills, domineering parent(s) and/or aggressive siblings.  

• Generates protectionist tendencies in family that spill into business.  Can cause major rift between parents:   “broken wing” syndrome.  

• Solution (1):  focus on the individual with the problem.  Negotiate their acceptance of the need for help and provide that help with through a specialist coach with appropriate skills.   

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