What do you do when a sermon, a Bible verse, a conference talk, or a spiritual principle gets used against you?

In this episode, we talk about a painful dynamic many people experience in unhealthy family systems: when teachings about peacemaking, forgiveness, humility, honor, or reconciliation are twisted into pressure, shame, control, or spiritual superiority.

This conversation was prompted in part by messages we received after President Oaks’ recent talk on peacemaking. We want to be clear: we honor and sustain President Oaks, and we saw nothing wrong with his message. What we are addressing is the way true spiritual principles can be misused by others in ways that feel manipulative, coercive, or spiritually destabilizing.

In this episode, we unpack the difference between peacemaking and appeasement, why truth is not the same thing as being harsh, how spiritual language gets weaponized in estrangement and no-contact dynamics, how to stay grounded in God when others use faith to destabilize you, and what scripture teaches about truth, control, and righteous boundaries.

Whether the pressure came through a pastor, a parent, a church leader, or someone quoting scripture at you, the principle is the same: something true can still be used in a spiritually harmful way.

If you have ever felt guilty, confused, or shaken because your boundaries were framed as unloving or unchristian, this episode is for you.

We also share details about our upcoming live online CLEAVE Events:
April 22: Boundaries Without Guilt
April 29: Healing After No Contact

If you are interested in attending either of these events, you can find more details on our website:

www.leavethencleave.com/cleave-events