When I was single I spent so much time wishing, waiting and hoping to meet the right guy.

I thought that once I met him everything would be fantastic and I would finally have the love I wanted.

It took many years, false starts and heartbreaks for me to learn that this was never going to happen.

Not for the reasons I used to think, like I wasn’t young or beautiful enough, something was wrong with me, love wasn’t in the cards for me or all the good men were taken.

The only reason it wasn’t going to happen was because I was viewing a relationship as something that was going to happen to me.

We are constantly being sold this myth by books, TV and Hollywood.

We’re told that we’ll meet the right person someday and things will fall into place, probably when we least expect it and we won’t have to do anything to try to make it happen.

It should definitely be a charming meet-cute experience.

Never something as mundane or awful as a dating site or app.

These expectations have nothing to do with reality and they are harming your chances of getting into a relationship.

The truth is, getting into a relationship will likely require your participation.

I don’t mean you have to make a fool of yourself and chase men or hang out at bars every night picking up men, but you will need to put yourself out there and develop some skills.

Without dating and communication/relationship skills, getting into a healthy relationship is a long shot.

Even if you meet the “right” person, you will have nothing to go on if you haven’t developed these skills. It will be the relational equivalent of trying to run a marathon when you’ve spent the last 5 years on your sofa eating donuts and watching Netflix.

Good luck with that.

We are the ones who create our relationships and this takes skill.

The dating process can be a training ground for this if you do it right.

You can learn how to put yourself out there, set boundaries, communicate, and be persistent. You can learn to enjoy the company of others and how to decide what is really important and what to compromise on. You can learn how to navigate misunderstandings and disappointment. You can learn how to inspire men and yourself by having your own back and going for your dreams by actively pursuing them.

All of these things will come up when you’re in a relationship and you’ll need to know how to handle them.

When you actively participate in dating and take responsibility for creating the life you want, you’re much more likely to have a good experience and become the person who is actually capable of creating a meaningful connection with another human being.

This is not something that just happens to you, it is something you build.

I have a great free resource to help you create your very own custom man plan so that you can find a quality man ASAP.

Click here to download it or go to bit.ly/MANPLAN

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