As Valentines Day and my wedding anniversary (13th February) are fast approaching this week,, I can't help but think about my marriage.

Valentines Day is the busiest day of my husband's business, therefore we never get to celebrate that or our anniversary on the day but we try to make a point to spend some quality time together later in weekend or after.

2019 marks a big year for us, we have been physically and emotionally challenged in so many ways and it certainly asks for a stronger and more supportive relationship. So, I thought to myself, what can I learn from all these valuable lessons and if anything that comes up useful, I'd share them on my podcast. So that's what prompted me to talk about in this week's podcast.

For me, the following 5 tips are what really helped me and my husband to get through insanely busy work schedule, long-distance travels and blindspots.

1. Embrace Vulnerability and Imperfection

I was reading Brene Brown's book Daring Greatly, and one of the stories about a man who came up to her after a talk about how hard it is for men to share about shame and vulnerability deeply touched me. How he viewed his wife and daughter couldn't bear the sight or the thoughts of him if he would crumbling down in tears right there. Another one talked about how he couldn't tell his wife he was been lay off from work for quite some time, he just went to the cafe during work hours to find a new job. His Dad, brother and close male friends knew, he just couldn't tell his wide. He said: "She didn't sign up for this."

I talked about the stories I read in the book with my husband and I said to him: "If work becomes too stressful, or you feel overwhelmed with too much weight on your shoulder or something "bad" happened, you got to talk to me. I didn't just sign up for this, I signed up for more". I don't care if we need to sell the house or be creative with things, I don't want to lose him on the inside.

I think it is important to know what you truly value in life, hence, fear to lose the most. It is confronting and uncomfortable to feel vulnerable, but that is also a way to live with love and courage.

It is one thing to tell our husband or boyfriend that we want them to open up and share more about their feelings and fears, but when it comes to the hard truth, many men believe we may not be able to bear it or even actually want to hear the hard truth. So we need to be honest with ourselves as well. Are we willing to feel vulnerable, to face our own imperfection, character default, mistakes, fears and most importantly, are we there for THEM for the long run.

You don't stumble into a warm and cozy relationship, you need to work on it. You may be lucky enough and stumble into a suitable candidate to commit to cultivate one.

If you want to feel more connected with your boyfriend/partner/husband, you got to be in the arena, whether it is about wrestling with your own vulnerability and share that with him or listen and respect his. You got to be there and let him know that too.

2. Be clear and committed with your work and personal boundaries

If you want a good work-life balance, personal & spiritual growth and massive success with your work, this is probably the number one commitment to nail.

For some, this may mean the number of days/weeks you are willing to travel away from home for work, or how many hours you spend in the office vs. home, whether or not you work in the weekend and if so,