This week on The Pain Gap, we sit down with trauma therapist Allison Kirvan, whose work centers on trauma, EMDR, complex PTSD, and the often invisible emotional patterns that shape our adult lives. Allison helps clients untangle childhood dynamics, understand their nervous systems, and rebuild a sense of safety and self-worth, especially for those who grew up navigating chaos, gaslighting, or emotionally immature parents.

In this conversation, we dig into some of the most misunderstood aspects of healing: why therapy isn’t for “broken people,” how two individuals can experience the same event but walk away with entirely different trauma responses, and what really distinguishes trauma, PTSD, and complex PTSD. Allison also breaks down EMDR in a way everyone can understand, sheds light on nervous system regulation, and shares how everyday “little-t” traumas, microaggressions, chronic criticism, and emotional dismissal accumulate over time. We also talk about identity, culture, and the ways our backgrounds influence how safe we feel in therapy. And Allison offers powerful guidance for anyone who’s tried therapy before and felt like it “didn’t work” and what it really takes to find the right fit.

Episode Resources:

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To learn more about Anushay Hossain's work, check out Anushay's website or sign up for her substack. To continue the conversation, feel free to DM @anushayhossain or email me at [email protected]