Surrogacy Made Simple

#58 The 3 Essential First Steps in Your Surrogacy Journey (Beginner’s Guide for Intended Parents)


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Ever wonder what your fertility clinic is really using to determine if a surrogate is a “yes” or a “no”?

In this essential episode, Dr. Alyssa Small Layne breaks down the official ASRM guidelines—the very framework most U.S. fertility clinics use to decide what’s acceptable, what’s risky, and what’s required in surrogacy. These aren’t laws, but they shape everything from who qualifies as a surrogate to how many embryos can be transferred.

This episode will help you understand red flags, ask smarter questions, and save yourself time, money, and heartbreak—especially if you're going independent or have already matched.


What You’ll Learn:

  • 03:15 — What the ASRM guidelines are (and why they matter)

  • 04:50 — How understanding them can protect you from losing tens of thousands of dollars

  • 06:32 — Who qualifies as an intended parent (it’s more inclusive than you think)

  • 09:48 — Who can be a surrogate and which health guidelines are non-negotiable

  • 12:35 — Medical tests surrogates must pass before approval

  • 14:37 — Why vaccination status matters in contract agreements

  • 15:16 — The emotional side of surrogacy: what ASRM says about mental health support

  • 18:14 — Legal must-haves before embryo transfer can begin

  • 20:14 — Embryo transfer guidelines (spoiler: single embryo is strongly recommended)

  • 21:57 — When two embryos might be considered and why nuance matters

Resources Mentioned:

  • BloomBridge

  • Surrogacy BluePrint Course

  • Surrogacy Starter Kit


  • Key Takeaways:

    • The ASRM guidelines aren’t laws, but they shape most clinical and agency decisions

    • Not every disqualified surrogate is a “bad match”—context matters

    • You don’t need to be infertile to qualify for surrogacy, just have a documented medical need

    • Contracts, mental health screening, and single embryo transfer are all non-optional steps

    Feeling overwhelmed or unsure where to begin? Download the BloomBridge app and grab the Surrogate Vetting Essentials Guide to get clarity before matching or submitting records to a clinic.


    “Surrogacy isn’t simple—but with the ASRM guidelines in your back pocket, you’re not walking in blind.”

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    Surrogacy Made SimpleBy Alyssa Small Layne, MD

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