Kenneth and Eugene ponder the notion, “how bored does a holovision audience have to be to sit and watch a completely unedited feed?” and also, “do they watch when they go to the bathroom?”

It’s Starhunter Redux’s Third Thing.

Episode Synopsis

Matilda is the saccharine, bitchy host of a holovision program called the Third Thing.  Next week’s show is coming up fast and she demands that producer Julian and his… let’s call her aide… Nasdine, come up with something good for the show.  Something that takes ordinary people doing extraordinary things transforming them into extraordinary people in the process!

Terraformers, people working to resolve difficult political situations, police, teachers, doctors?  “No.  DULL DULL DULL.  Bring me… BOUNTY HUNTERS!”

About that same time, two erstwhile bounty hunters, Marcus and Percy are complaining about the fact that they’re always doing the mechanical, engineering, and grunt work of carrying bottomless ball boxes that they’re best suited for, rather than the glamorous, exciting bounty hunting that the pros are doing.  Marcus resolves to demand a job from Travis.

Jobs appear to be pretty slim on the ground, though, as Travis and Callie can’t find any work that isn’t beneath them.  In comes Marcus demanding a job, and then in comes Rudolfo with a job – a documentary by famous documentary producer Julian for the Third Thing.

Travis, a man who has a face likely to get him in trouble with the Raiders doesn’t really want his face plastered all over the airwaves.  It’s a lot of money, though, so they agree to send Marcus and Percy, with support from Callie, to pick up a repeat offender that’s absolutely so bad at being on the run, he just keeps getting picked up.

Marcus has a hole drilled into his brain and has a camera attached to his optic nerve so they can get a camera feed.  Percy is unsuitable.  Go figure.

They go to Io city, and things start turning bad quickly.  Tremayne, the target of their bounty, is meeting with Raiders, and then a gunfight breaks out and an innocent woman is killed in the crossfire.

Marcus and Percy pursue, and, during this, we learn that the entire thing is being broadcast live on The Third Thing, with Matilda giving remarkably insightful commentary. 

For the show, the First Thing is Marcus and Percy.

The Second Thing is Tremayne, because, he’s been wired up, too.

Rudolfo, back on the ship, watches the Third Thing, realizes there’s a problem, and heads for assistance.

Nasdine is having second thoughts about being a participant in this criminal endeavor that has already gotten one bystander killed.  She’s reminded she’ll never work in HV again if she backs out now so, she continues to be an accessory to the crime in progress.  Until she’s shot and killed.  To her credit, she does sort of try to warn Marcus before she’s killed.

When the audience votes to let the villains get access to extra intel on the location of Marcus, things look very bad until Rudolfo arrives and saves the day, by subduing the Raiders.

That is until the Third Thing is revealed…. It’s the pointless third-act story complication!  The staple of such hack shows as The Third Thing and Starhunter Redux.  What is it?  Callie has been taken by more Raiders who are also acting as cameras for The Third Thing’s eager audience.

Rudolfo sweeps in with a flourish, pretending to be the Director of The Third Thing, and subdues them.  All is well that ends well.  They torture and humiliate Julian a bit in an airlock, and then they get paid, and both sides agree not to press charges against each other, and they all live happily ever after.

There is that slight coda at the end where we learn that Ruldofo knew all along what type of show the Third Thing was. So, there’s that. 

The end.