Normally, we stan a petty queen, but Percival takes his pestering to a whole new level in this week's episode of Riverdale by making it his mission to recover overdue library books. If we're being honest, we'd rather be charged with misdemeanor theft than be subjected to eczema bordering on leprosy, swampy ghosts of child predators past, or developing the venomous characteristics of a black widow spider, but no one seems to be able to tell Percival to fuck off, so that's what we get. Can someone take this guy out already? We're willing to sacrifice Jughead for the cause.

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