My name is Michelle Johnstone, and I'm coming to you from the Casa Del Sol in Spain. I am super excited to be here with you do my first broadcast. And I can't wait to start telling you all sorts of different things. Plus, I have some interviews lined up with some very interesting people. So stay tuned for that. But I thought I would start by introducing myself and giving you a little bit of my background. I started my life as a Playboy bunny at the London Playboy Club in Mayfair, which I'm very proud of, but we'll get to that another time.

I do have an aka essex bird that goes back through my years on the radio here in Spain for a variety of different stations. It also may give you a very big idea as to where I hail from Essex Nah, London, I'm a towie transplant. Anyway, this year I had the pleasure of taking part in a popular TV show. That was a lot of fun, had an absolute scream doing it. And hopefully I'll be making an appearance on next season show and their Christmas special Fingers crossed, but I'll divulge that to you later as well. I own a small business here on the Costa del Sol. I provide the bespooke awnings, lines, mosquito screens, as well as some other products. The name of my company is Ace of shades. Brilliant name, huh.

But I don't want to make this broadcast into commercial. What I want to do is bring you snippets of real life on the Casa Del Sol and the things that happen here when you're a resident. Now this may involve the odd celebrity that you might have seen on TV in the UK, that are currently here because they do come here and look about

After all people love theCosta del Sol. I've had a lot of strange jobs. I've lived in a variety of different places. And over time, I'll tell you about that. But today I want to tell you about something completely different. that's affecting a lot of us here in Spain, which I'm calling locked down lazy itis. Now, I think a lot of the ladies might relate to this one. locked down in Spain. It's been really tough. It's been 12 or 13 weeks now. And thankfully, Spain is now waking up slowly. So the girls and I decide as we're now allowed to do a girly lunch as you do.

I have lounged around for weeks in Pyjamas and clothes that I wouldn't be seen getting out on the street. And now I have to get ready for my first social engagement. So I pick out a nice comfortable summer dress because the weather here of course is lovely now For the last, you know, first seven weeks of isolation, it just peed down. But now the weather's lovely. Got my dress, and I turn on the shower. Oh my god, shock horror. How can a woman grow so much hair in so few weeks? I need a strimmer for my legs, let alone a razor. Anywhere manage the shower and the washing of the hair without any drama. And then I've got to put on makeup. Makeup. I haven't worn any in weeks.

So I'm desperately trying to make a straight line with my eyeliner and remove the mana brow that has suddenly appeared when slowly and surely I get ready. And it's time now to negotiate the hair dryer in the straightness. Now I gotta say, suddenly, this lunch date is running into to two and a half hours of pre faffing and it's taking me ages. To get ready So, anyway, I'm done. I'm good. I'm ready to go and thank the gods. they've picked a restaurant within walking distance of my house. What a stroke of luck. Now any woman knows, you never leave home without European. Forget that. I gotta wear a mask. I guess I could always put the lip on the outside and embrace my blindness. But I decided not to do that. So cometh the hour cometh the newly D haired woman ready for lunch? It's 28 degrees outside and I am wearing the latest fashion in facemask, purple rubber gloves, and sunglasses. I look like I'm about to perform a rectal examination on the wine waiter instead of going to lunch. So I arrive at the venue and I meet the girls and when you can imagine the excitement. We haven't seen each other in ages and now We've got a big decision to make. Do we elbow bump? Do we touch hands and sanitised immediately? Can I just add at this point over the last 12 or 13 weeks, my hands have absorbed more alcohol than I've drunk in a lifetime. The only one result is there's no hangover behind Joe. Anyway, we all decided to rip off our face masks and we recklessly hug each other. We will get seated. And we're away. except we're living the new norm. So there's no menus, there's no table class. There's just what they call a QR code on the table. Now, you scan this with your smartphone, and the menu appears on your screen. Unless you're a troglodyte, who still has a Nokia phone, in which case you're going to be out of luck. So we ate we drink copious amounts of wine. laughs took the back legs off the back of a donkey And we had a really great afternoon, we really did have a giggle from what I can remember. No, that was just a joke. I'm a hand Jelacic now. My point is, I guess it's time to get up from this lockdown lazy itis and support our local restaurants and businesses, because God knows they need it. And of course, we're looking forward to welcoming tourists back to the coast.

Although I have to say the parking here has been amazing. But we've got to get back to this new normal life, whatever that may be. locked down lazy itis has set in for some people. And I'm not the only one who thinks so. And to quote a young girl named Dorothy Gale, there's no place like home. So until next time, keep positive. Stay safe and love from sunny Spain. Hasta llwego! 

Cath yo unext week at 11am on Funky Media Radio :)